sorry for any mistakes.
Reina Armani Jackson
Raj.. | July 24
—
"Family of Le'Neja Jackson." The doctor spoke, as she cleared her throat.
Koda stopped, and sat down then stood back up as we all stood waiting to hear the news.
"This accident was pretty serious, and—"
My sister gone make it, I just know she is.
"I'm sorry, but she suffered from blunt force head trauma, and a severe crushed spine, she didn't make it. She died on her way to the hospital." She sighed.
"She what?" I tuned back in, looking at her.
I felt a lump for in my throat, as my eyes started to sting. My heart felt so much pain. My sister was gone, the last half of my heart that I had left. The other half was already gone due to my parents and grand mother dying; but now my sister too.
"My baby, no no no." I heard mama cry.
I wasn't there for her, how could I be so stupid?
"Reina—" Dre bit his lip, holding back his tears.
"This not right," I shook my head crying, "this not right at all. I gotta go see her please. Please just let me go see her, I just wanna talk to her and hug her one last time, please."
"I'm sorry honey, I can't do that." She told me with sympathy.
I looked at mama, who looked as if she died right along with Nae.
"Please, I just wanna see her. It- it can't end like this." I broke down.
She didn't say anything; she just sighed, looking around.
"Thats my s-sister, she was all I had left." I cried harder, "I can't do it"
"Reina." Q pulled me into a hug, "Calm down before you have an anxiety attack."
"You don't understand," I sobbed, "I wasn't there for her, I should've been there for her."
"Come on." The doctor sighed, looking at me, "I can only allow you and mom."
I moved out of Q arms, and followed my mama and the doctor. So many emotions and thoughts running through my head.
This life shit pointless.
"Again, I'm sorry for your loss." She said, once we made it to the room.
I walked in the room after mama, and the doctor closed the door behind us.
"My Nae Nae." Mama gasped, grabbing her hand.
She barely even looked recognizable. I stood over her lifeless body, examining her. I wiped my face, not really knowing what to do. I just wanted to be in her presence again.
"Raj, wanna talk to your sister?" Mama grabbed my hand, giving me a weak smile.
"Mama I'm sorry," I said feeling myself tearing up again, "I- I should've answered when they called me. I don't know what to do, I just wish"
"Stop baby," She said, as tears rolled down her face, "stop blaming yourself for something you couldn't have stopped. When they were calling you, we were already here waiting for them to tell us something. I don't blame any of this and neither should you. It was a car accident, and none of us could have prevented that. Thats our baby, sad to say she's gone; but it was all God's plan. He's calling our angel home, I don't know why so soon; but we can't question the man above."
She hugged me, rocking me back and forth.
"I- I don't know what I'm gonna do." I sobbed.
"We got each other baby. Its gonna take some time, but we're gonna get through this." She said crying as well.
—
I laid down in Nae bed, scrolling through our messages.
OtherHalf💗!
Btc am I ugly??
nah you not ugly, but you a lil funny looking.
Btc stop it😭
sn, lmaooooo!
SISSY YOU SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
Thanks lovely🥺🥺🥺 where are youuu?
omw home, wya?
Finna get my lashes done, and then I'm going to get Talia. You wanna go out to dinner w us?
sorry bby🥺 ... Bam coming to see me later.
Oop bitch, suck that dickkk.
omg btc stop😭, but we can go for breakfast tomorrow 🥳
Yessirrr, sissy ttyl.. this btc finna start my lashes. I love you 3000.
I love you 3000!
I wiped my face, exiting out of our messages going to my camera roll. I sighed, looking at pictures and videos of us.
It was all I could do at the moment.
She was so pretty, even with the ugly ass bun and no rhythm.
We thought we was gone go viral on tik tok with this one.
I think we was high and drunk as fuck. Can't even take us serious, cause all we did was play.
I just wanna know who the fuck did our edges. I just wanna talk.
This truly was my best friend. My fucking sister, my other half. Gone just like that.
I sighed, locking my phone. I couldn't stop crying.
I wish it was more I could've done. I know mama told me not to question God, but why her? Why me? I can't handle this shit.
I'm not strong enough, what am I supposed to do? My mommy and daddy, my sister, my granny, my best friend Tae.. I can't handle anymore losses man.
This shit hurt too much, I feel dead inside.
Not too long after, I heard a knock on the door, before seeing Q walk in.
What was his point of even knocking, the hell?
"You hungry?" He asked.
I shook my head, before sitting my phone down.
"Here." He sighed, sitting a plate in front of me anyways.
"I just said I wasn't hungry." I mumbled, before grabbing my weed and rolling tray.
"You gotta eat something Rajanae." He said clearly trying to lighten the mood.
I didn't pay him any attention, I just started rolling.
I didn't want to be bothered, but still decided to keep quiet. I didn't wanna snap on him, especially since he was just being there for me.
I glanced at him, and seen him mug me. He sat down on the bed.
"Q your outside clothes, damn." I looked at him, pushing him away, "Get off her bed."
"Bi— I'll be back." He mugged me again, before standing up.
Nae, they already trying you.
Knowing you don't play that outside clothes on your bed shit. Once I finished rolling up, I stood up and grabbed everything. I left out of her room, closing the door behind me.
"BITCH FUCK YOU!" I heard Koda yell.
"Kody, stop being you just for a day." Tone retorted.
"Thats like asking a bitch to stop cheating," Dre chuckled, "Impossible."
"Man fuck what y'all talm bout. If I ain't gone be me, who will be?" Koda said.
"You be sounding so dumb tryna sound so smart. Life is hard for you buddy." Dre laughed.
"Just be yourself." Tone chuckled, "IQ score bout low as hell."
"Nigga you just asked me to stop being myself, so who really sound stupid?" Koda called out.
I sighed, walking in my room; slamming the door behind me.
Yep, I can slam doors, cause I pay bills in this bitch. Who gone check me? Oh ok.
I sat in my bed, and set my phone up; I played See You Again. I sparked my blunt, and just stared at nothing in particular.
.
.
.
"Reina, the hell you in here doing?"
"Bitch don't rush me." I chuckled, "Let's go."
"I'm driving! Cause when I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go." She smiled.
"Ok, I'an wanna drive anyways." I shrugged, following her to the car.
-
"Come on, calm down." I sighed, pulling her arm in the other direction.
"Niggas wanna be on hot shit, never wanna have fun."
"You can't drive, give me the keys." I sighed.
"I can Raj, I'm ok." She waved me off.
"You got too much going on, you drunk and shit." I looked at her.
"Bitch I had three shots. I'm ok." She rubbed her eyes, getting in the driver seat.
I sighed, getting in the car with her. Once we were settled in the car, she hooked her phone up to the aux.
"Nae Nae look!" I exclaimed.
"Girl what?" She made a face, "Calm yo hyper ass down."
"Its daddy, Nae look." I shook my head, tugging at her arm.
"Bitch is you drunk?" She stared at me.
"No Nae, its daddy. Look." I began to breathe uneven.
"Daddy dead Reina." She blinked, switching the gear into drive, "You finna have an anxiety attack, come on."
"Le'Neja look, he standing right there!" I pointed.
"What the hell, nah this can't be real," She finally looked up, pulling off, "d-daddy dead."
I looked back at her, confused, "Nae, your face. Its all twisted."
"Huh?" She looked at me, before looking for in the mirror.
"Reina!"
"Nae, your mouth foaming."
"Reina!"
Not too long after, everything started to fade..
"Reina!"
-
"Huh?" I sat up, breathing heavy.
"You ok? You were crying in your sleep." Q looked at me.
"Quentin, I seen her." I looked at him, realizing it was a dream, "and my dad."
Weird ass dreams..
"Nae?" He said, pulling me towards him.
"Her face, I- I can't get the image out of my head." I wiped my eyes.
"Stop rubbing your eyes," He tapped my leg, getting up, "come on."
"I'll just stay here." I shook my head, "I'm sleepy."
He nodded, leaving out the room.
I grabbed my phone, unlocking it before going back to my camera roll. I went to a video, when Nae was cussing out Dre and Koda, recently. My baby was definitely the mama of the group.
"Here." Q said coming back in the room, with a wet towel, and a bottle of water, "Wipe ya crusty ass face."
Bitch, can never just be respectful.
I took the towel from him, and wiped my face. He sat the bottle of water down, and got back under the covers.
"I can't sleep." I mumbled.
"You was just sleep—"
"Go home." I rolled my eyes.
"Thats what you want?" He looked at me.
Once he realized I didn't say anything, he just laid down, pulling me down with him.
"I don't wanna sleep," I sighed, "I'ma start having nightmares again. They're coming back."
"What you mean coming back?" He asked, rubbing my back.
"I used to have nightmares about my parents for the longest, and my grandma too. This time it was Nae. Her face looked exactly how it did in the ICU." I rubbed my eyes.
"Stop rubbing ya damn eyes, get ya hands out ya face," He thumped my hand, "I'm right here, you wanna talk?"
"No," I sighed, feeling my eyes starting to water, "I wanna smoke or something. This shit hurt."
"Ok." He sat up, passing me the pre-rolled paper and lighter.
"Can you hold me?" I bit the inside of my cheek.
He didn't say anything back; he just pulled me onto his lap, holding me.
—
thoughts?
ideas?
—RIP to a real bitch🤍🥺 Nae Nizzy!