Waifu Wars: A Food Wars Fanfic

By FanFicDiction

387K 11.4K 4K

When a new transfer student arrives at Totsuki, he has all of the ladies falling head over heels! Er, head ov... More

Ch.1 Better Late Than Never (Ryoko Sakaki)
Ch.2 An Elegy for an Allergy (Alice Nakiri)
Ch.3 Divine Mercy (Hisako Arato and Erina Nakiri)
Ch.4 A Briefing on Beefing (Ikumi Mito)
Ch.5 Salmon With a Side of Subtext (Megumi Tadokoro)
Ch.6 Tongue-Tied (Momo Akanegakubo and Rindo Kobayashi)
Ch.7 Lost Ingredients
Ch.8 Humble Origins
Ch.9 Shokugeki No Torrey
Ch.10 The Real War Begins
Ch.11 Another Star is Born
Ch. 12 Halloween Hoopla (Part One)
Ch. 13 Halloween Hoopla (Part Two)
Ch. 14 Halloween Hoopla (Finale)
Ch. 15 The Morning After
Ch. 16 The Beach Episode
Ch. 17 Into the Wild (Yuki Yoshino)
Ch. 18 Totsuki Idol Project (Urara Kawashima, Part One)
Ch. 19 Totsuki Idol Project (Finale)
Ch. 20 Moonlight Masquerade
Ch. 21 Conferring with the Council
Ch. 22 Sixth-Seat Showdown
Ch. 23 November Rain
Ch. 24 A Special Guest
Ch. 25 Rise of an Empire
Ch. 26 Rise of a Rebellion
Ch. 27 Cajoling in Cairo
Ch. 28 Reptile Wranglers
Ch. 29 Thistles and Thorns
Ch. 30 Back in the Saddle
Ch. 31 An Unappetizing Arrangement
Ch. 32 Picking Up the Pieces
Ch. 33 The Love Potion
Ch. 34 The Love Potion (Finale)
Ch. 35 Dinner for Four
Ch. 36 Insomnia
Ch. 37 A Cut Above
Interlude: Valentine's Day
Ch. 38 Purging Totsuki
Ch. 39 Vegetable Soup for the Soul
Ch. 40 Battle Royale
Ch. 41 To Wake a Goddess, All You Need is Eggs
Ch. 42 Meet the Parents
Ch. 43 When the Lights Go Down
Ch. 44 Stay Out of the Basement
Ch. 45 A Minor Misconception
Ch. 46 Bake Sale Bonanza
Ch. 47 Sushi After Sundown
Ch. 48 Nagged by the Nakiri's
Ch. 49 Samurai Before Sunrise
Ch. 50 Bringing the Heat
Ch. 51 Noodles Make a Fine Olive Branch
Ch. 52 When Life Gives You Potatoes
Ch. 53 The Crummy Cake Catastrophe
Ch. 54 A Trip Down to Flavortown
Ch. 55 How to Train Your Kohai
Ch. 56 A Skirmish with Another School
Ch. 57 A Poet Who Knows It
Ch. 58 Friday Night Lights
Ch. 59 The Man in Black
Ch. 60 The Elite Ten's Two Cents
Ch. 61 Are We There Yet?
Interlude: A Question for the Readers
Ch. 62 A Place Further than the Universe
Ch. 63 Advancement Exams: Stage One
Ch. 64 A Rivalry Renewed
Ch. 65 Battle of the Transfers
Ch. 66 Showdown on the Sapporo Train
Ch. 67 Advancement Exams: Stage Two
Ch. 68 Sorry For the Wait
Ch. 69 I Took an 18 Hour Bus Ride to Hokkaido, Now My Harem's Losing Strength
Ch. 70 The Blonde Beauty and the Fair-Haired Maiden
Ch. 71 Envy and Anchovies
Ch. 72 The Fateful Day Approaches
Ch. 73 Advancement Exams: Stage Three
Ch. 74 Advancement Exams: Stage Three (Wrap-Up)
Interlude: High School of the Dead, Part One
Interlude: High School of the Dead, Part Two (Conclusion)
Ch. 75 Another Month in Hell, Frozen Over
Ch. 76 Regiment de Cuisine: 1st Bout
Ch. 77 Regiment de Cuisine: 2nd Bout
Ch. 78 Regiment de Cuisine: 2nd Bout (Wrap-Up)
Ch. 79 Regiment de Cuisine: 3rd Bout
Ch. 80 Regiment de Cuisine: 4th Bout
Ch. 81 Regiment de Cuisine: 4th Bout (Continued)
Ch. 82 Regiment de Cuisine: 4th Bout (Wrap-Up)
Ch. 83 Regiment de Cuisine: Dawn of the Final Day
Ch. 84 Regiment de Cuisine: 5th Bout
Ch. 85 Regiment de Cuisine: 5th Bout (Wrap-Up)
Ch. 86 Regiment de Cuisine: 6th Bout
Ch. 87 Regiment de Cuisine: Finale
Ch. 88 The Way Things Were
Ch. 89 New Beginnings
Ch. 90 If Looks Could Kill (Miyoko Hojo)
Ch. 91 When Mars and Venus Collide
Ch. 92 Meat Sweats On a Monday, Part One
Ch. 93 Meat Sweats On a Monday, Part Two (Conclusion)
Interlude: A Father's Day Phone Call
Ch. 94 Can I Go Home, Now?
Ch. 95 Even Though I Turned Down A Council Seat, I Still Had to Do Their Work
Ch. 96: Angels and Demons
Ch. 97 That...Escalated Quickly
Ch. 98 Hojo's Bizarre Adventure (of Love), Part One
Ch. 99 Hojo's Bizarre Adventure (of Love), Part Two
Ch. 100 Hojo's Bizarre Adventure (of Love), Finale
Ch. 101 A Night to Remember (Part One)
Ch. 102 A Night to Remember (Part Two)
Ch. 104 Love and Basketball
Ch. 105 The Replacements
Ch. 106 It's the Secretary's Day Off, and Now I Have to Fill Her Shoes!
Ch. 107 The Way of the Sloth
Ch. 108 The Art of War, Breakfast Edition
Ch. 109 Torrey Pops the Question
Ch. 110 The Nose Knows
Ch. 111 The Best Laid Plans
Ch. 112 A Night At Nakiri Manor, Part One
Ch. 113 A Night at Nakiri Manor, Part Two
Ch. 114 A Night at Nakiri Manor, Part Three (Finale)
Ch. 115 Once Bitten
Ch. 116 Never Shy
Ch. 117 Casino Night, Part One: The Gambling Girl
Ch. 118 Casino Night, Part Two: The Presidential Girl
Ch. 119 Casino Night, Part Three: Raising the Stakes
Ch. 120 Casino Night, Part Four: Game of Spoons
Ch. 121 Casino Night, Part Five: To the Victor Goes the Spoils
Ch. 122 Casino Night, Part Six: A Rival's Rival
Ch. 123 Casino Night, Part Seven: 99 Problems, But a Shrimp Ain't One
Ch. 124 Casino Night, Part Eight: Finger Food
Ch. 125 Casino Night, Part Nine: If the Price is Right
Ch. 126 Casino Night, Part Ten: A Difference in Opinions
Ch. 127 Casino Night, Part Eleven: Kohai vs Senpai
Ch. 128 Casino Night, Part Twelve: Clash of the Casseroles
Ch. 129 Casino Night, Part Thirteen: It's a Long Way to the Top
Ch. 130 Casino Night, Part Fourteen: After-Party at Polaris
Ch. 131 The Notebook

Ch. 103 A Night to Remember (Finale)

1.3K 51 19
By FanFicDiction


When the gang arrives at Eishi Tsukasa's doorstep, each of them has their fingers crossed. This is already their fourth stop on the quest for Gleda, and they're running out of former Council Members to visit. They're also running out of daylight, and thanks to the stormy weather, there was never much of that to begin with.

Once again, Torrey finds himself knocking on the door of one of his old Central buddies. This time, the knock results in a cacophony of destruction on the other side. The sounds include pots and pans clattering against the floor, chairs getting knocked over, and screams that can only belong to Tsukasa.

"Damn you, accursed beast! Er, sorry...just a moment!" says Tsukasa. The noises continue for a minute or two, and all Torrey can do is look to his friends while he waits.

Soma just shrugs, while Ibusaki waits calmly by leaning against the rail at the top of the stairs. Ryoko cringes at the sound of ceramic cookware being shattered.

"Sounds like we found our goat," she says, more relieved than excited.

The door finally opens, but just enough for one of Tsukasa's pale blue eyes to peer out at his guests.

"Torrey-kun! What can I do for y-OWWCH! Leave me alone you foul cretin!"

"...so that's what you really think of me. Sorry to bother you, Senpai," says Torrey, turning to leave.

"No! I was talking...to...this...bloody...hoofed creature! Get off of me!" says Tsukasa. The door's now open wide enough to see Gleda chomping down firmly on one of his legs.

"Bloody?! Oh god, Yuki's going to kill us," says Ryoko, shaking her head.

"Um...another misunderstanding. I meant it as an expression. Like, 'bloody hell!' I've been working on my cursing a bit lately. Rindo says I need to stand up for myself more," says Tsukasa, clearly embarrassed.

"By yelling at a goat? I can see her point, but a real tough guy wouldn't be caught dead doing something like that," says Torrey.

"Guess you saw right through my act. Darn. At least I can say that I tried," says Tsukasa.

"Just stick to your cooking, Senpai. Nobody's gonna mess with you if you hit 'em right between the legs with a good old-fashioned foodgasm," says Soma, flashing a thumbs-up.

"Thanks, Yukihira. You actually make a pretty good point."

"Why do you sound so surprised by that?!"

"I was surprised, too," says Ibusaki.

"Hey...why are you holding a knife?" says Torrey, finally noticing the large cleaver in Tsukasa's hand.

"This? Oh...well, truth be told, I was planning to bloody up this goat. Literally."

"Y-you were going to hurt Gleda?" says Ryoko, with teary eyes.

"Obviously he was going to turn her into a gourmet dish," says Torrey, confidently. "Right, Senpai?" he adds, this time without the confidence.

"Of course!" says Tsukasa.

Gleda begins tugging at Tsukasa's leg even more aggressively, possibly in reaction to hearing that her life might be down to its final moments. Tsukasa somehow manages to wriggle his way free, slipping out the door. Not before Gleda manages to tear a long strip of fabric from the back of his shirt, however.

"Guess she owns the place, now?" says Soma, laughing.

"Well Yuki's influence is pretty clear, but is that really a 'prized' goat? Seems like she's got a bit of an attitude problem to me," says Torrey.

"Don't be so insensitive, Torrey. She's just a goat. She doesn't know any better," says Ryoko.

"Attitude or no attitude, I'm sure she tastes delicious all the same," says Ibusaki. "Smoked goat neck...now that's a dish I've not had in a long time. A long time."

Gleda head-butts the door from the other side, causing everyone to jump.

"Stop saying things like that!" yells Ryoko.

"I need to get out of here...I'll just leave my things for now and find somewhere else to stay. If I promise Kuga a Shokugeki, then I'm sure he'll let me crash at his place," mutters Tsukasa, his mind racing. "What if she finds me there, though? She already knows I'm weak...and I'd be no match for her in a head to head fight..."

"Get a hold of yourself, man!" says Soma. He's about to try the hand-smack that always works on Megumi when she's overwhelmed, but he stops himself when he realizes that Tsukasa's still holding the knife. Unsure of what to do with his hands, he opts to smack Tsukasa across the face instead. Tsukasa stares for several moments, before finally speaking.

"I suppose I deserved that..."

"You most certainly did not! Soma, how could you do such a thing to your Senpai?!" says Ryoko.

"Someone had to," says Ibusaki.

"Seriously, you don't need to move. That goat is actually why we came here to talk to you in the first place. How the heck did you end up with it, anyway?" says Torrey.

"You honestly don't remember selling it to me last night?" says Tsukasa.

"I did what?! Until we talked with Rindo, Momo, and Saito...I didn't remember much of anything," says Torrey.

"We're missing a lot of details," adds Ryoko.

"That's a shame. Everyone seemed to be having such a good time, too. Isn't it funny how that works? Let's see...I had invited Saito over to try a new dish shortly before he got the call from Torrey. I hadn't planned on joining him, but he insisted that I 'step outside of the kitchen' and 'let the spirits loose' for once. I had no idea what he was referring to until I saw him grab the bottles of sake from his place."

"Did the spirits also lead you to decide that jousting on goats was a good idea?" asks Torrey.

"I would never participate in such a farce! It was an entertaining sight, sure...but imagine if I were to fall and sprain my wrist, or dislocate a finger...I could very well learn to adapt in the kitchen, but it would set me back days, weeks, maybe even months. The time spent learning how to cook with only one effective hand could be much better spent on..."

"Should I hit him again?" asks Soma.

"No! Although...I had no idea he was this chatty," says Ryoko.

"I'm sorry! That won't be necessary, Yukihira. After Saito and I arrived, you asked me to be the third judge for your endless series of Shokugekis. I say 'endless' because the only thing that kept you from continuing was the empty refrigerator."

"Momo-Senpai wasn't kidding. We must have been in the zone," says Soma, nodding.

"Yeah!" says Torrey, excitedly.

"That's nothing to be proud of," says Ryoko. "And you two are hereby on grocery duty this week."

"Damn! Should have known there'd be consequences for using up all our ingredients," says Soma.

"Anyways, the adult beverages continued to flow, and after the animal girl decided to show off her prized goats, Torrey and Saito decided they would be perfect steeds..."

"Upon which to do battle- so we've heard," says Ibusaki.

"Right. And the girl was more excited about this than anyone! She even offered to let the winner of the match keep his steed."

"She did, did she? Conveniently left that part out this morning..." says Soma.

"So it was her fault!" says Torrey. "And that must mean I'm the undisputed goat-jousting champion!"

"It's not as impressive when you consider that you're one of only two idiots to even attempt such a contest..." says Ibusaki

"Ibusaki's right. And either way you're at least partly responsible for that goat," says Ryoko.

"Speaking of responsible, why now? Where was all this responsible big sister stuff last night?!"

"H-hey, that's not really fair of you to say...I need to let loose sometimes, too! Do you know how hard it is to be the girl that everyone looks up to?"

"Can't say I do. Sorry, though. I shouldn't blame you for my drunken mishaps."

"It's all right. I think we all learned to take it easy on the rice juice...but we still don't know how Tsukasa ended up with Gleda," says Ryoko.

"Ah, that's right! We're almost to the end of the story. Of course, seeing those goats in action made me realize that I wanted to make a truly brilliant goat dish. Since the winner was allowed to keep his goat..."

"The winner being me, of course," says Torrey, as if he didn't just learn this a moment ago.

"Yes; after the match, I approached you with an offer to purchase your goat. You were more than happy to part ways with her, but not before one final ride into the sunset. Or the moonlight, I should say."

"Then what happened?" asks Ibusaki.

"Nothing, really. I called it a night shortly after that. Torrey must have taken the goat back here, because when I returned late last night I found her tied to the staircase."

"So I took Gleda here, then ran all the way back to Polaris?! What the hell was I...oh, well I guess I wasn't thinking.

"At least we know what happened to Gleda now! It was a totally legit business deal," says Soma.

"But that was clearly a mistake! This goat won't let me anywhere near her with a knife. I just want her out of my apartment. If you can somehow get her to calm down, you're welcome to take her back," says Tsukasa. "Plus I haven't technically paid you yet, anways."

"Taking advantage of a drunken Kohai? I could have expected as much from Rindo-Senpai, but from you..." says Torrey. "Ah well, Yuki's the one who's got some explaining to do now."

"Yeah, she took my friggin' bacon!" says Soma.

"Wait, but that doesn't explain how..." starts Ryoko. She looks at Torrey, and her voice trails off as she realizes she's about to spill their secret.

"Ohhh...I guess we didn't get ALL of the answers," says Torrey, catching the meaning.

"Hmm? What's up with you two?" asks Soma.

"Hmm," says Ibusaki.

Unlike Soma, he doesn't sound confused at all. Naturally, he knows that Ryoko's room is on the first floor of Polaris dormitory, while Torrey's is on the second. One could only assume why he would run into the two of them on the stairs this morning, both clearly on their way down from the second floor.

**********************************************************************************************

Rather than continuing to struggle with Gleda, the group ended up calling Yuki to come pick her up. When she arrives at Tsukasa's apartment, she wears a guilty grin.

"So...best to just let bygones be bygones, am I right?" says Yuki, unable to meet anyone's eyes.

"As long as you pay back the bacon you took from me. One of your pigs will do, thank you very much," says Soma, crossing his arms and looking the other way.

"Yeah, I think we all made some poor decisions last night," says Torrey. Without thinking, he looks to Ryoko, who can't decide exactly what he means by that statement.

He's either still blaming me for the rice juice, or...no, that can't be right. He already said that he didn't blame me for his drunken mishaps. Is he trying to say that the 'other' thing was a poor decision?

"I acted out-of-character. So I've decided to avoid drinking, for the time being," says Ibusaki.

"I'll take some of the blame...but only some. Yes, I decided to bring out the good stuff, but all that other craziness is on you guys!" says Ryoko, looking to Torrey. Torrey chooses his next words very carefully. Or tries to, at least.

"W-well, when two people decide that...err, the responsibility falls on both parties. And if the details aren't very clear, then no one deserves all of the blame..." Torrey stutters.

"That's absolutely right, Torrey! Both parties are responsible," says Ryoko, nodding in agreement.

"And that's not to say that the decision was only made because of 'the good stuff'...it just happened to work out that way," Torrey adds.

"So then...even without 'the good stuff', said decision could have been a possibility?" says Ryoko.

"Exactly! So as far as poor decisions go, said decision really wasn't that bad. In fact, it might even be considered funny, looking back now," says Torrey. "Ahaha."

Eishi Tsukasa, Soma Yukihira, Shun Ibusaki, and Yuki Yoshino look at these two with blank faces. This might have been the strangest conversation any of them had heard all year. The first one to gather their thoughts is...

"Did you two bone or something?" asks Yuki.

*******************************************************************************************

By the time the group arrives back at Polaris, the dorm's lights are on to help ward off the darkness. Right there on the front porch is none other than the dorm matron, Miss Fumio herself. She leans against one of the pillars, with a piece of barley sticking out of her mouth. This sight immediately strikes fear into the hearts of our adventurers.

"Oh no...we are so screwed. Gleda, mush!" says Yuki, hopping onto her newly re-acquired prize goat and racing away into the night.

"Wow, those things do make pretty good steeds!" Soma exclaims.

"I can't believe she left us to face Miss Fumio, after all that we went through to get Gleda back," says Ryoko, shaking her head.

"We're way too under-leveled for this boss fight. We might be able to talk our way out of it with a speech check, though..." says Torrey.

"No. We must face her. It is the way," says Ibusaki.

"Damn. That was a cool thing to say, Ibusaki. Can't turn back after that," says Soma.

The four companions look at one another, and nod. They continue on the path, approaching Miss Fumio confidently until they're within her range. Everyone is silent as the salty old matron stares them down. She is the first to speak.

"I heard quite a ruckus last night," says Fumio. "Kept me up till the wee hours of the mornin', it did. Now these old joints are paying the price. Anyone have anything they want to say about it?"

"Miss Fumio..." starts Torrey.

"We..." continues Soma.

"Are..." says Ibusaki.

"So sorry!" cries Ryoko. The four of them bow down in apology, with tears in their eyes. It was a rough day, and they weren't prepared to answer to Fumio after their long and arduous quest.

"I ought to leave you all out here to rot in the mud. But...then that big pot of beef stew I just made would go to waste."

No one moves a muscle, sensing that this might be a test.

"Well go on, get! Dinner's getting cold," says Fumio, pointing a thumb in the direction of the kitchen.

"You're the best!" cries the group, as they make a mad dash into the dorm.

Miss Fumio stays out there for a bit, reminiscing on some of the talented young chef's she's housed over the years. As far as crazy nights go, last night probably wouldn't even crack the Polaris top ten.

A strong breeze picks up suddenly, forcing Miss Fumio to turn and head back inside. On the way there, she laughs.

"Should be another fun year," she says to herself.

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