"I owe you so much more then you owe me...I don't even deserve you..all you've done is help me and I just throw it back in your face..." Mello muttered ,his voice still sad.
"You still don't seem to understand. Mello, I love you so much. No-one could ever replace you and your stupid anger issues to find another reason to beat me. And I meant it in a good way. It's adorable when you try to get so God damn mad but you can't because I'm too lovely, huh? You've played games with me thousand times when you've been on good mood. You've always returned here and you want me to be happy and live healthy. Even though I won't stop smoking easily. But hey. It's alright to be angry. I deserve to get some knives thrown to my head sometimes."
Mellos eyes widened at his words and his lips trembled as a smile formed across them. You could tell he was grateful to hear those words and that he appreciated them. No one had ever said something like this to him before. Matt was the first and the only one to accept and put up with his mental disorders. But still he hated the fact he had it and didn't like treating Matt badly. "But still..sometimes I act like I don't even care about you..I treat you as if you're not important and I don't even realize until after..I never think how it would affect you.. Those words mean a lot but I'm sorry for the way I am and for the way I treat you.." He murmured.
"Darling, you're the only one I'll ever have and the only one I want. I can deal with you. Don't think about it so much..." Matt said and lifted his chin slightly. "You always say you're so smart, and yet, you can't see that you've never been that bad that you think you are." Then, he pressed their lips together and kissed him.
Mello listened to his words and held them close to his heart. That meant so much to him. He kissed him back slowly but lovingly. He softly shut his eyes.
He smiled silenty inside his mind. Mello never realized one of his kisses was enough to make Matt want to run outside smiling and throw candy everywhere. Literally. It made him feel that good.
Mello felt more comforted now and he sensed Matt was just the same. He softly deepened the kiss and snaked his arms around the redheads neck and tugged his head closer to his.
He started, for his own suprise of course, blush. Oh God he felt stupid. Yet, it was amazing feeling...
Mello smiled slightly against his lips and then gently bit his bottom lip causing him to open his mouth slightly. Seizing his chance he snaked in his tongue.
He let a quiet moan in action, blushing deeper.
He entwined his tongue with his and continued knowing he loved this but also because he loved it too.
He played with his tongue, Mello's sweet flavour of chocolate melting there. Damn. He'd never imagined something feel this good.
Mello moaned into the kiss ,still going. After a few more minutes he slowly broke off and opened his eyes. He stared up at him.
His eyes met his blue ones, smiling a little. He stroked his silky hair carefully.
He gave a small smile ,having calmed a bit he did not flinch at his touch like he did earlier. He did not look away nor did he say anything.
All he could think was that he was afraid to lose Mello. He got his fingers tangled to his hair. Yet he didn't pull away.
He blinked at him and then rested his head on his chest,breathing softly. He then sighed. He was so afraid. They were both afraid of losing each other.
It felt so good when Mello did so. He was sure the blonde could hear his now calmer heartbeats. He had something he had been chasing for.
Mello listened to his heartbeat. It was steady. More relaxed. He smiled a small smile. Glad that things were less tense now.
He closed his eyes softly. Damn, he was exhausted from all the drama. "We are such troublemakers..." he sighed.
His smiled faded and he closed his eyes also ,keeping his head rested on his chest. "Hell yeah we are..." He replied quietly.
"Are we going to stay here? On the floor?" He asked, stroking his hair softly.
He gave a halfhearted laugh and then leant his head back ,gazing up at him. "I guess it isn't the comfiest place to be..perhaps we should move" he answered.
"Yep. But you're not alright yet." He got up carefully, and before Mello had time to do the same, he picked the blonde up and hugged him. "Not going to let you walk. Since you are my princess."
Mello locked his arms around his neck. He chuckled a little,grateful for his care and support. "Thankyou my knight."
He smiled and walked back to Mello's room, let him go lying back to the bed, walked to get the broken chocolate bar and gave both halfs back to him. "Here.."
Mello slowly took them from him. He put one half down beside him and then twisted the other about In his hand for a moment. He then took a bite ,a loud snapping sound followed and he held it in his mouth for a moment and then swallowed. He then glanced at Matt.
Matt climbed next to him to the bed. He never dared to bother him while he was eating chocolate. He had tried once at Wammy's. Then Mello had proved that game boys won't float if someone angry and blonde throws them to a river.
Mellos eyes narrowed slightly and he then licked his lips. He stayed silent and then looked at him again.
"Something what you'd like me to do or get for you?" He asked.
He thought for a moment and then shook his head. He then took another bite and stared up at the ceiling ,leaning his head back against the pillow.
Matt, being still tired as hell, was soon asleep. He snored. He did it pretty often.
Mello chuckled slightly and flashed him a glance, smiling a little. He however stayed awake. He returned his gaze to the ceiling and sighed.
He mumbled asleep something about 'motherfucking cinnamon rolls' and turned a little.
Mello frowned and looked down at him once more ,rolling his eyes. He looked up again.
He snapped up awake. "Is the food ready?" He asked still half asleep.
"What?" He answered looking down at him,confused.
"Huh?" He asked confused and looked at him. "What's the time...?"
"I don't have a clue" he answered and looked away,he stared out the window.
"Mh. Are you feeling any better?" He asked, like always.
"Yes..a bit" he replied,his voice quiet.
"Mmh, good," he said and yawned softly.
Mello slowly turned his head ,looking back at him. "I wanna see.."he said,meaning his injuries. He had no idea how bad they were or what they looked like.
"...why...?" He asked silenty, and hung his head.
"I want to know how bad it is"he replied narrowing his eyes slightly,still looking at him.
He nodded and rolled his sleeve up, carefully showing Mello his cuts.
Mello glanced down at them with a blank expression. "..You should clean them..so they don't get infected" he said,his voice gentle and then looked up at him.
"It's not important, Mels... Don't you want to know how you do look like?"
Mello looked away and remained silent for a moment. "It is" he muttered under his breath but then nodded.
He got up silenty, got the mirror and gave it to him. "It's not that bad..."
Mello took the mirror and looked into it. His gaze hardened a bit and he put one hand to his face ,feeling it. He didn't think so. He hated it.
He sat to the edge of the bed, looking at him silenty. He wanted him to say something. Anything.
Mello lowered the mirror,placing it beside him. He glanced at Matt and kept his hand on his face for a moment. He then took it away. "Its horrible..." He said quietly looking down.
"It's not. You look beautiful, like always." He took his hand and held it. "You're perfect. No matter what you think, you look amazing. Always. Okay?" He kissed Mello's hand softly, and then squeezed it. "Mello. Look at me."
He lifted his head ,looking at him once more. He stared with a blank expression but then he smiled a little. "Thanks..really" he murmured and looked down at their entwined hands.
He caressed his injured cheek carefully. "You should already know that..." He smiled.
He blinked at him,letting him do so. "You're the only one to think such things. I've never had a positive view of myself but I won't complain" he said softly.
"I don't get that. You're awesome." He felt the scar under his fingers. Mello was not only hurt from outside. He was suffering inside too. And he wanted to fix that.