You Keep Me Breathing (BoyxBoy)

Part 12

He grabbed Mello's hand and kissed it gently.

Mello smiled softly looking up at him. They had been like this on the bed for hours now,it seemed he had lost track of time. But he didn't mind at all.

"I'm so glad it is me who you love. I never thought it would be possible." Matt kissed his hand again.

"I didn't think it was either but here we are" he giggled lightly in reply.

"Yep, and I'm so glad we do," Matt smirked.

"Same" he chuckled in reply ,staring at him.

Matt was about to smile, but his eyes got accidently lost to his own wrist, seeing all his eleven cuts even when they weren't so visible. He got the same disgusted, dizzy feeling as always when remembering. He hated himself, the feeling of being such a bother washing over him. His small smile faded as he quickly looked away.

"Matt?" He frowned suddenly sensing something was wrong. He became worried. He noticed that he had looked down to his wrist and suddenly took hold of it. He looked closely and his eyes widened and for the moment he just stared frozen. He stayed silent.

"Don't look," He mumbled and pulled his hand away embrassed and even more disgusted, why he had to hurt Mello like this?

Mello looked up him sadly. He hoped Matt would never ever come to this because he knew exactly what it was like. He did it too but not on the wrists.  Mello reached out and pulled Matt into him hugging him tightly. "You damn fool.." He murmured and tried to hold back tears.

"I'm so sorry... It's just..! I made you... Disappointed... And sad... All my fault..." Matt gulped, not wanting to cry even when it was hard. He hugged him weakly back.

"No its okay Matt...I just hoped this would never happen to you.." He sighed heavily and didn't let go of him. He tightened his grip. One tear fell ..he couldn't hold it back and then another fell and then another. He didn't bother to try stop this time.

"Don't c-cry.. Not because of me... Please..." Matt said hugging him tighter as well. "Mello... I swear I'll be better... Just not because o-of me..."

"...Matt...Matt I love you.." Was all he could cry out and then pushed his head into Matt's chest,crying more. He didn't care if he looked weak he just couldn't control the emotions.

Matt held him still tightly. "Yes... I know it now..." he whispered.

Mello didn't reply to that. He lifted his head off his chest and gazed at him sadly but still did not let go.

He silenty looked back, and kissed his forehead softly. Afraid knowing Mello would ask why later or sooner.

Mello wanted to ask why,it was breaking him. But he felt he hadn't the right to since he did it too so he thought who was he to question him but he wanted to know what was wrong so he could try and help Matt. "You know what I want to know don't you?" He said quietly after staying silent for a long time.

"Yeah... I guess..." Matt mumbled but didn't even bother to start, he needed to think about it first.

"Its okay Matt ,I'm here ..I'll always be here" he said softly and didn't let go of him.

"If one day you're gone... And I can't find you anymore... I'll end this. I never want to live without you." Matt silenty promised.

"And its the same for me,I don't want to live without you either" Mello whispered back.

"Please never leave me," Matt whispered weakly, and gave him a small kiss to his head carefully.

"I won't" he replied ,his voice quiet and he gave the tiniest of smiles.