Everybody had different feelings today i couldn't explain it but it felt like if i was going to a funeral instead of a happy emotional day you know. i was feeling off with all of this stuff that was going on. i was thinking if all of this was going to be worth it. is like i woke up with a switch in my head that turned from on to off if that makes any sense. while everybody was running around and a hairstylist was doing my hair, i was honestly lost in my thought. i was thinking about Scott and Matthew and Ares, is funny because as i was lost in my thought i started to recall of how i met every single guy in my life. i started to think if Matthew was really the one, maybe i should run off with Ares and forget about all this maybe i would be happy like that since he still makes my heart race. but i mean what about Matthew, after all we both wanted to be together at first and honestly everybody makes mistake but was he for sure that he wanted a son that was not his or was he just being as polite as he could be, because i mean even Camila was pregnant he could be merrying her and nobody would wonder why. The people would say that Camila was probably pregnant because of him. but me i was clearly a nobody. i know girl why was i thinking all of this if i was the one who said yes when Matthew came to the door and ask me to marry him. he was here when i needed somebody even after he made me take an airplane back to my mothers house by my self, even after i cried so many time he was still here for some reason. it was a hard decision for me. but in other matters my wedding didn't start until 12:00pm and it was only 6:00am yes girl it was supper early and everybody was running around.
Like for example the guy that was doing my hair and styling it it hurted but i didn't flinch at all until somebody came through the door, and of course it was just one of the maid so i looked at my self in the mirror as she brought flowers for myself. i smiled at the thought of remembering everything that i have been througth.
-----------------------6:10-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dalian and Ava
while the guy continue to fix my hair and put decorations on it. somebody knocked on the door and of course i thought it was my mother so i told them to come in . to my suprice it was Dylan. of course he was very shy as he walked in and what surpriced me more was that he brought flowers like what the fuck was happening right now.
"hey Ava, can we get a minute to talk?". he said as he looked at the hairstylist. the guy of course looked at me first and i gave him a nod as he quickly told everybody to get out of the room. i know awkward.
"Dylan you shouldn't be here right now." i said as i stood up to face him. of course i wasn't presentable but he was staring at me like if i was an angel or something. and from that look i knew why he was here.
"i just wanted to give you these, i know they are your favorite type of flowers." he said shyly.
"thanks, you could have just waited until i get married and give them to me at the dinner table." i said and as i said that he got closer to me. the flowers where the only things keeping us separated to a distance. i was a little nervous to be honest.
"Ava you don't have to do this."
"what do you mean?"
"you don't have to get married to Matthew, i can see it in your eyes that you-"
"that is nothing of your concern Dylan." i said getting a bit annoyed that he would come in here and think that he would make me change my mind.
"Ava please i am tired of this all i want is for you to be happy and this is not it."
"oh i am sorry do you know what i want? ." i said while i looked at him. this coversation was taking forever at least that is how i felt. i didn't have time to fight with my friend. " dylan is better if you leave right now." i said as i turned around. he of course swallowed hard and put the flowers next to the mirror.
"i know this is not what you want. you want a guy that dissapeared and left you." he said. girl i wanted to slap him and cry but it was my wedding day i couldnt think about this nonsense. i was going to marry matthew and i had to get over it.
"whatever Dalian. see you at the wedding."
"i wont stay." he said as he left and honestly it did hurt but i try not to cry as everybody came in the room. i simple smiled and pretended to complain about how i wanted to do my makeup.
i got to say that once the guy was done with my hair i looked like a princess. but once they started doing my make up i looked at the flowers. even thought they where my favorite i started to think about what Dylan said. even thought i knew i wasn't going to be happy even though i knew i didn't wanted this. i needed to do this i knew i sounded like a broken record but Dalians words where just repeating in my head like crazy.
----------------------------------------6:50-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By the time i looked at the clock it was almost 7:00 i was so anxious since they where still working on my makeup even thought i wanted to look as simple as i could. my makeup was just going to be a bit of eye liner with red lipstick. i remember smiling to the girl that was doing my makeup because she was really trying to finish it, for some reason she was putting glitter here and there and some eye shadow it was crazy. while she was doing that Garrett opened the door and girl let me tell you that it surpriced everybody in the room even me since we all turned around to see him. it was a bit funny because he looked like how i first met him, he looked like a rockstar.
"Gerrett what are you doing here ?" i said as i stood up. of course everybody else that was in the room also stare at us even thought it was odd so before he could say anything i grab his hand and pull him to the hallway.
"hey Ava i just wanted to bring you-"
what the hell was going on? why everybody was bringing me gift today i didn't understand.
"is not more flowers is it ? listen Garrett i have to get ready you know i am about to get married can this not wait till later ?". i said not in an annoying voice but a worried tone.
"i won't be here." he said as he took out a small box and girl let me tell you that i was a bit worried about that box in a way. "take it." he said as he handed it to me.
"what is it ?". i said as i didn't dare to open it . i know i should of open it.
"is earings i thought they would look beautiful on you on your big day." he said of course i was already having mix feelings about this so i took a deep breath and looked at him.
"thanks." i said as i went to give him a hug. it felt awkward but for some random reason i was feeling sad as he hug me back. "why wouldn't you be here?" i said as i finally let him go.
"i have to catch a flight." he said but honestly i knew he probably didn't wanted to be here so i shaked my head and smiled at him.
"well have a good flight then." i said as i turned around he of course before i was about to close the door behind me he began to talk.
"you look nice like that. you know pregnant and all." he said as he smiled. i couldn't help but to smile too.
"thanks, see you then." i said as i hurried up and closed the door behind me. i lowered my head but then i remember that the room was full of people so i quickly looked at them and smiled.
"friends giving their good wishes." i said as i smiled of course the girls laughed and got back on talking and diciding what eye shadow i should wear and what not. i was to tired for all of this already. by the time that they finished with the make up they all left the room and started to put on their under garments whatever that was. they also where to busy diciding what jewelry they wanted to wear and honestly it was depressing because they where all happy and acting like it was going to be their wedding or something like is my wedding hello. i honestly didn't even know who where this people? probably friends of my mother and Matthews family because i have never seen them before like girl i was wondering where was violet at least you know. by the time that i realize what time it was it was already 7:30 so i quickly decided to put on my panthyhose if they even fit because like i said i was pretty big so most of my clothes didn't fit.
I was anxious to see my wedding dress like girl i havent even put it on like thats how crazy it was.
Once i quickly grab the wedding dress i quickly hid myself in the bathroom. Girl i was panicking. I didn't wanted to put it on. I honestly didn't even wanted to be doing this right now. I felt awkward and odd. I was about to get married in a couple of hours and i couldn't stop it.
-------------------8:20----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As i was to busy sitting in the floor of the bathroom i was surpriced that nobody was nocking on the door but i mean lets be honest is not like i had to do anything else other then getting in the car to drive to the church right?. So once i actually took a deep breath somebody nocked on the door again and again and of course i was shooked for a moment but then i realized is been to long since i was sitting here. So without asking who it was i dare to open the door even if i wasnt well dressed and boom of course it was Caden of all people like what the actual fuck was he doing here.
"What areyou doing here Caden?." I said as i tried to cover myself with my arms. He of course turned around as fast as he could but that didn't stop him from looking.
"sorry, i just thought -"
"you do know you're not supposed to be here only brides maids and my mother and girl friends are allowed." i said even thought it was a bit of a lie because even guy friends could have also be in the room.
"i just wanted to say good luck. i think you made the right choice." he said weird and honestly i was a bit confuse but since nobody wanted to be at this wedding i wasn't surprice either.
"you wont be here either." i said softly as i was getting dress. he of course kept looking to the other side as he smiled.
"i loved you so yeah i can't be here watching you get married. the sooner the better that i leave." he said in a sad tone and honestly i couldn't blame him at all. i didn't even know why i invited this people. while he said that of course i laugh but not as making fun of him but because i knew i shouldn't have invited them at all.
"thanks for your well wishes Caden is very appreciated now if you excuse me." i said and yes i might have said it a bit cold but girl i was just all over this. i needed to breath and i needed to get throught my head that i was about to marry Matthew. i had to start beliving that i wanted to be with him at all cost. so yes bitch i qucikly closed the door in front of him without letting him finish and i took a deep breath. i was well confuse first of all but i also couldn't think about been confuse because this was it and honestly who ever was going to come next to tell me their not going to show up to the wedding i wasn't going to care, because honestly i needed to start thinking positive and not let this people make me change my mind you know?. Without aa care in the world i didn't even listen to Caden and told him to just go and of course he did. I wasn't abit curious about what he was going to say.
---------------------------------------9:35-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As i was to busy trying well not trying but slipping into my wedding dress i noticed that somebody was at the door because you could see a shadow on the other side of the door in witch i was wondering if the person on the other side was going to knock on the door. but to my sweet surprice it didn't. nobody nocked. it was odd so i opened the door and look both sides just to see if there was anybody still in the hallway but of course there was nobody there and for some reason my heart started to speed fast. I thought that somebody was watching me. So i looked both ways and then decided to get back inside.
I felt a little stupid but i mean who really gave a fuck about this. So. I closed the door and looked at the clock and started to get ready. Girl by the time i stared at the sealing in boredom i realized that Ares hasn't show up so i was starting to wonder if that was his shadow but i mean i could be wrong. Even thought i knew he wouldn't be that type of person to not knock on the door or something. Oh my god girl what if it was Matthew?. Maybe Matthew wanted to call it quits but maybe he didn't dare to knock on the door? I know maybe i was going way out of my head but honestly the pressure of wanting to know who was at the door was sorta killing me. I mean not really but it was making me anxious.
Once i was on my dress somebody knocked on the door so i took a deep breath and went to open it. Girl i was shaking because i knew it could be Ares or... well i don't want to dream about who it could be so i tried to not look like i gave a crap so i hurried up and opened the door as i rolled my eyes. and of course it was somebody i wasn't expecting.
"camila what are you doing here?." i said as i looked at her confused, of course she walked inside like she owned the place or something. honestly i wasn't about to deal with her attitude so i let her in and closed the door.
"i don't understand why you do this to me." she said as she looked at me and of course i was a bit confused of what she meant by that, i mean it could only be about Matthew but girl Matthew was the one who choosed to be with me after he felt guilty of letting me return on an airplane by myself.
"Is this about Matthew... camila i really don't have time for this." i said sounding annoyed and of course she didn't give a crap.
"yes of course this is about him. he is my husband still and all this is ridicules." she said as she sat down even thought i didn't tell her to sit down.
"why not go back to Caden."
"because this is about me and Matthew Ava, you could have just choosed to be with Matthew bestfriend and let me go back with Matthew but like always you have to-"
"No don't even start." i said as i opened the door again and made a gesture for her to leave the room.
"please Ava i am begging you to think your actions."
"why do you even want to be with him for? just because i have him?."
"no because he is the father of my child Ava." of course that meant nothing to me since i was so done with her lies honestly.
"well i guess now you will be a single mother." i sarcastly joked but honestly i didn't give a fuck if it sounded mean. i just wanted to stick with this decision and move on with my life.
"you're so cruel." she said, of course i didn't give a fuck again. so made the same gesture for her to leave again and again. she was a little pissed but honestly today was not about her it was about me and of course as i was about to close the door when she stepped outside she held the door and looked at me.
"lets hope he doesn't leave you waiting in the altar." she said. girl when she said that i have to say that i was feeling a bit weird about it. but of course i closed the door and turned around. i didn't feel like crying but i did felt weird in my stomach. not the baby but like when you get a bad feeling about stuff. honestly i started being afraid that maybe she was right. maybe camila knew that Matthew was going to leave me standing there and probably send somebody to tell me he wasn't going to marry me. oh girl if i tell you that the thought of it made me so sad and so angry at the same time that i was soo afraid that it was going to happen.
-----------------------------------------------------10:49----------------------------------------------------------------
the people where starting to come, the people was starting to park their cars. i don't want to say that i was hearing people talking in the hallway but i could hear more movement outside and people greeting each other. girl it was making me so nervous that i just wanted to run away. i wanted to run away from all this right now like i never thought the day that i thought once was going to make me so excited and happy was actually making me scared. like bitch i was so scared to know that soon i was going to be in the alter and marry Matthew. i know i was repeating myself but girl this was so unreal to me. while i was to busy freaking out somebody opened the door and girl of course it scared the shit out of me but as soon as i turned around it was Ares. of course it had to be him because he was once of the guys that was behind my ass.
"wha-".
"Ava you can't marry that asswhole." Ares said as he got closer to me. of course he closed the door behind him. for some random reason my heart was speeding fast.
"UGH Ares what the hell you think you're doing? how many times do we have to go throught this?."
of course as i said that he completely dissmised it and walked to me and honestly girl i was a bit nervous. Not because i was afraid he would ruin my makeup but because i was feeling odd already.
"Ava please you're making a big mistake and i don't want to see you get hurt." he said as he grabbed my hands but of course i jerked them away. i know i was acting like a bitch but i couldn't let him do this to me right now. specially since i was about to get married soon.
"Stop. this is so stupid Ares maybe you should mind your buisness,if i get hurt is not your problem!." I said as i tried to look away from him but of course he grabbed me by my arm not in a tight way because i still slipped out.
"You're so stuborn and stupid! I am trying to save you an embarrassment." He said and of course i was a bit surpriced because i was so scared of that happenening but i mean Matthew wouldn't dare right?.
"He wouldn't." I said a bit confuse. He noticed and followed me as he looked at me sitting down in the chair. Girl i didn't know what to bilieave and of course i didn't wanted to cry either so i wouldnt ruin my makeup but was all this worth it?.
"Ava." He said as he took my chin in his fingertips. "You deserve so much better. All this is not what you want." He said and honestly he was right but i didn't wanted him either. Well i know i sounded like a bitch but come on he did hurt me and as much as i sound like a broken record i honestly just wanted the father of my baby and for some random reason i really thought and hoped it was scotts.
"It will never work out Ares." I said while i tried to look at him in the eyes to you know sound a bit more serious so he could at least take it serious. But of course that didn't stop him from doing his next move. In witch it was him grabbing me by my waist and honestly i felt a bit fat. As he hold me in my ground he looked at me and girl i was feeling weird inside.
"Ares." I said softly as i gently put my hand in between of us. of course it didn't stop him at all since he got even closer to me.
"run away with me Ava, i will make you happy and you know it, i would never leave you in the side of the street or hurt you over an ex. i want to be with you and i know you might not want to be with me right now i know deep down we would end up together anyways." he dare to say and honestly i couldn't take it any longer because i couldn't bileave how he was talking about this stuff right now because to me all this sounded like alot of bullcrap you know. so of course i pushed him aside.
"get out Ares. i will marry Matthew. you fucked up your chance alre-" before he could even let me finish he dare to kiss me girl. yes bitch in my lips of course i was shocked so i pushed him and almost slapped him because he hold my hand and pushed me to him. you must wonder where was all the ladies that where here, because i was wondering too. for some reason i was so scared that they would see me with Ares. i don't know why but something inside of me was terrify of the judgement of cheating i guess.
"stop resisting Ava. how can i make you understand that it was a big mistake? how else can i prove to you that i want you and not her." he said and honestly it sounded convincing but i couldn't think like this. so before i could open my mouth to complain Violet opened the door.
"hey Ava i was wondering if you where almost done." she said as she quickly came in. In that moment of course she quickly saw me and Ares separated from each other. "Ares?." she said as she looked confused.
Ares of course didn't reply to her and just looked at me.
"i don't love her. i love you Ava." he said as he grabbed my hands. i felt a bit flushed since violet was here but honestly i was also feeling awkward. violet on the other hand looked angry.
"What the fuck are you doing here Ares?. leave her alone." Violet said as she quickly got to my side and pushed him away from me. i didn't know how to feel but of course i was in shook girl. and girl to make things more awkward he didn't break from my stare at all.
"this doesn't concern you. why don't you go check on your brother and make sure he will show up." he said and of course Violet only laughed like it was a joke to her but you know with sarcasm.
"for what so he can also know that you're trying to convince her to leave with you? sounds very repetitive of you." she said and of course as she said that he was still looking at me in witch i was feeling a bit angry about it and odd in this situation. but girl i had to say something.
"i never bother her in her wedding so what would she know about repetition maybe because she thought i was going to chase her down on her wedding. might as well get over it Violet." he said as he STILL was looking directly at me and of course it was making Violet mad girl. i would be too if i was talking to somebody and they where ignoring me.
"you're so full of shit Ares, come on Ava tell him to get out of here." she said and girl i don't know what the hell i was thinking but i did say something.
"violet, can you let us talk please". girl was she mad when i said this. but of course she stormed out of the room. and i knew that must have made Ares happy in a way.
"what makes you think that Matthew will not show up?"
"is like him." he said as he didn't break eye contact or even blink.
"And you just want me to run with you to save me the emberrasment?."
"probably."
"why?."
"because i don't want to see you hurt, at least not from that guy." he smiled but honestly i didn't understand why would he smile about a situation like this.
"i.. i can't do this."
"then you would rather walk down there and cry when you don't see him there?." he said as he got closer to me and i could tell he was serious about this. honestly i would feel so devastated if Matthew did this to me.
"somebody else could be there to save face." i said, he was a bit confuse and i get it because even i didn't even know what the hell i was talking about. "Forget it." I said but of course he quickly made me look at him.
" What are you afraid of Ava ? Are you afraid that i am the one who you will end up with or what? Why you keep making the wrong decision when i have never really hurted you?." He dare to say in witch it made me laugh sarcasticly a bit. But before i could say anything about what he just said he continued. "It will be up to you so if you want to still make a fool out of yourself might as well walk down the aile. But if you don't you can escape through the the kitchen and i will be waiting for you outside in my bike." He said smiling in witch i didn't understand why he had that smirk in his face at all. But i of course pretended that i didn't care what he just say.
"Whatever you say Ares." I managed to say while he separated from me. of course he still smirked without care in the world. like girl he really thought i was going with him. i guess as bad as i am i let him think that so i smiled at him.
" i know you will make the right choice." he said as he then proceeded for some reason to get closer to me and kissed me in my cheek. girl i was not angry or feeling butterflies in my stomach but i was rather confused because like bitch i didn't know how to feel at all. so of course by the time that he left me Violet rushed inside. girl i thought it was annoying but i know she was feeling scared that i would leave her brother hanging in the altar.
"Well?". she said as she quickly closed the door.
"what?."
"you're not really going to leave my brother for him right?." she said in a voice of concern in witch honestly amused me a little.
"why would i ? i mean isn't this a normal behavior of Ares ? didn't he not do this at your wedding ?" i said as i carefully study her reaction and girl let me tell you that she looked a bit guilty for some reason. " he never did this to anybody else did he?." i said waiting for her to reply to me. girl if i tell you that she took a long pause you wouldn't bilieave it.
"not to me but he probably did it to other girls." she said and of course as she said that something in me felt worried for some reason and i felt lied to somehow. maybe Ares was right. he probably didn't give a crap about her but she did?. oh my god did she care about him still ?.
"you kissed him." i said randomly. girl her face went red and you could feel how shamless she felt.
"please don't tell my husband, i really don't care about Ares anymore." she said and honestly girl i was feeling so many things right now. i felt like all this was a setup so i wouldn't end up with Ares. maybe all this time Violet wanted me to end up with Matthew so she can see or have Ares for her self. girl i felt stupid but smarter somehow.
"just get out." i said angrily as i proceeded to the door and opened. of course she wasn't going to leave without saying some stupid shit.
"please Ava don't make any stupid decisions ok? my brother loves you more then anything and he would never leave you alone anymore trust me! don't do this to my brother!." she said while begging i of course didn't give a rat ass as i proceeded to push her out and closed the door.
let me be honest. i didn't felt like crying but i felt like all this was a big joke and honestly i wanted to talk to Matthew about all this and our feelings like you know our true feeling. while i was trying to process all this new information i sat down and ate some crackers that where on the table. i was starving and tired but the big moment was finally here so i took my flowers and put on my shoes and fixed my dress a bit as i quickly went to the door.
once i turned around to the the empty room i saw the clock and of course it was 11:59. so i dicided to head out.
-------------------------------------------12:00-------------------------------------------------------------------
I got in the limo and stare outside as it drove. nobody was in the car with me since i told them i wanted to be alone incase you know. incase i wanted to drove off and not return, so as i was thinking about all this i started to wonder and get worried if Matthew was going to be there. my hands where shaking as i saw cars infront of us and people dressed elegantly. i was terrified.i tried to shake the feeling away but of course that wasn't helping. i had to many voices in my head telling me that i should have left with Ares or i should of left with caden or bitch this was a bad idea, like why the fuck was i getting married? ugh this thougths this feelings was starting to make me sick and i got even more sick once the driver stopped the car. girl i burried my face in the flowers infront of me. what the hell was i going to do if Matthew wasn't there.
"ma'am we are here." the driver said and of course i dismissed it as i tried to breath a little more. girl when i looked out the window and saw that big church. my heart started to speed faster. my hands where sweaty. and i litteraly was feeling like i was going to puke and faint. but as i was looking outside i could see the people talking and getting inside as the music was starting. girl i gulped so hard like how did i got to this point?.
"Ma'am, are you ready?." the driver said again as he interrupted my thoughts. i looked at him and yes bitch. i shaked my head and he then proceeded to get out of the car so he could open the door for me. girl once he opened the door of the car for me i have to say that my heart stopped. i put my veil infront of my face as i got out and you could hear the music starting to play. this was it. it was time. was i going to run away with Ares and my problem or was i going to go inside the church and see that Matthew was going to leave me?. i was scared to make a decision but as soon as the guy left me walk by my self i felt every step that i was taking it felt heavy girl. i felt like i was carrying rocks and not because of the pregnancy but because of this feeling i was having. the weight of it all was just weird to me.
i took a deep breath. and i started to walk. in my hand i was holding the boutique of flowers and as slowly as i was walking and trying to keep up with my own pace, i thought of all those boys i met. i started to drop petals as i finally made it to the big church door. every petal was for every boy i every met. as i took a step inside the church i dropped a petal for my friend Dalian. he loved me. i loved him not. i searched for him in the last row as i entered the church but he wasn't there.
Another step i took and i dropped another one, this one was for Garrett. he was fun and quick. my first kiss too but i didn't love him, he did love me. as well he wasn't here. my heart was pounding hard as i didn't wanted to look up. i was scared to see that Matthew was not there. i had tears in my eyes as i dropped more pedals.
The next pedal that i dropped as i took another slow step was for Caden. he was my ex boss fiance. he was to good for me. a doctor if you will say. he loved me but i loved him not. too good to be true. i smiled to my self as i looked to the next row of seat just to not find him. he deserved better. so i held my head high without looking foward and instead i closed my eyes and thought about the moments i had with Matthew in witch they made me feel butterflies in my stomach but the next petal i didn't drop it for him i dropped it for Ares.
It hurted as i grabbed that petal. i pushed the boutique to my chest and thought about it but i needed to let it go. so i dropped the petal for him because as much as he said and continue to probably show, he loved me. but sad as the truth was i loved him not. he was different and eager to want me but i guess since to many things drove us apart i couldn't love him anymore. it sadden me to think about it but it was true. so i let go of it.
as for my next step that i took i cried a little as i opened my eyes. my eyes where watery so i couldn't see if Matthew was there. so for my almost final petal i chosed Scott. he was everything i wanted right now but he never showed up. i loved him but he loved me not. i cried at the thought but i let the petal go. there was not much to think about it. once i got to the altar i looked down and proceeded to step on the step. my last petal that i was about to drop. was for him. Matthew. did he loved me?. was he here? was he going to be standing there if i looked up?. i hold my petal in my hand and sqeezed it hard. he was my future boss, protective at times but so many times humiliated me. i loved him at some points but in other times i loved him not. was it time to finally say if i loved him now?. i leg go of my petal as i cleared my tears as it dropped to the floor.i looked in front of me.
he raised my veil. Matthew.
he was here.
"you decided." he whispered as the pastor started to talk.
he loved me, i loved him not.
"you're here."i said as he hold my hand and kissed it as the pastor was still talking.
he loves me, i loved him not.
i felt butterflies in my stomach as tears kept coming down and people saying aww and clapping.
"wouldn't miss this for the world." he smirked. i couldn't but i tried to smile.
i loved him, he loved me not.
"would you take this beautiful women in sickness and in health and in good and wrong?." the pastor said as he smiled to both of us i couldn't help but to smile. we both agreed and said yes as he continue to whisper to me.
"i wanted you always." he said. as he broke eye contact with the pastor and looked at me. i was a bit in shock.
I loved him, i loved him not.
petals where falling down my arm as people shooked.
" I can't be more happy then take you as my wife if you also want too." he said loud for everybody to hear. bit rude to the pastor but i couldn't help but tear up again and smile.
i looked at the door in hope that maybe Scott was showing up or Ares but i guess this was it. Matthew grabbed my chin for me to look at him. he was handsome.
i loved him, he loved me not.
"i.." i tried to think carefully the words that where going to come out of my mouth.
He loved me. i ...
"i wouldn't miss this." i said as i smiled to him and of course he smiled to me back and holded my hand.
he loves me, i love him.
without waiting he rushed and grabbed my face and pushed it closer to his.
"i do." he whispered and then screamed it to the whole church as he got back at my lips. he kissed me deeply. as i also said it.
"I DO." i screamed again and of course every body clapped as we kissed passionatelly. this was it he quickly grabbed me and carried me out to the car gently of course. i had so many emotions as i searched and looked at everybodies face. i felt happy inside somehow. this is what i wanted. i wanted Matthew and i married him. i do i do. i wanted him. i loved him and he loved me. once we got outside he put me down and people waited for me to throw the flowers. they counted as i got ready and all the ladies got ready for me to throw it back. i wanted this. i took a deep breath.i held the flowers close to my chest and then smelled them. i whispered.
"i love you. i wanted you. you loved me. you wanted me, but now i must let go to be happy." i whispered to myself as low as i could so nobody could hear. i was saying goodbye to those guys i met, specially Scott. and Ares. i needed to let this go so i smiled deeply and looked back at the womens waiting for me to throw it. my mother was there and violet and other womens. i smiled at them. it was time.
i turned around as i saw Ares standing in the other side of the sidewalk, he was on his bike. i smiled back at him and then took a deep breath and got ready to throw the boutique. everything was happening in slow motion. i threw them back and hard as i was hearing women scream in happynes. this was it the boutique was up in the air as i looked back with an amused face watching it fall down.
he loves me, i love him.
it fell down just for a young girl to take it on her hands. people where happy and clapping as i looked at the little girls happyness, she jumped around as i looked at the person standing next to her. i was in shock to see who it was.
he looked at me and i looked at him.
while i was to busy looking at Scott, Matthew hurried up behind me and kissed me. as everybody got happy and threw rice and flowers at us.
he loved me, he loved me not.
we got in the car and drove off. i looked at matthew as he holded my hand as he drove off.
"where too?." he said as he smiled at me. of course we had to go to the after party but i didn't wanted to honestly. so i smiled and holded his hand tight as i pushed it to me and kissed it.
"lets drive as far away and only be us three." i said as i smiled he smiled to me back and then looked at me as we stoped at a red light.
"love me or not." he said. i was a little confuse but i smiled.
"you love me, love me not." i said smiling, he laughed as he drove off.I didn't care about seeing scott again. I closed my eyes as Matthew put music for the road. We both smiled to each other as we felt the breeze in our skin. He is mine. I am his.
Love me not.