Cold-Ground Tiptoe
"As a holiday gift, and for being the best lizard ever, I'm giving you extra crickets!"
One character development I most loved about myself this year was that I wasn't panicky around crickets anymore. I mean, okay, I only scaredy-skipped at least five times now compared to my previous record of thirteen, so how's that? If that wasn't bravery then perhaps nothing ever was.
Cornelia flicked her tongue three times as a gesture of thanks. Oh, and also, this was the year I learned the chameleon language, so I technically also became a multilingual. Darn, I was on a roll with these achievements, baby!
I flipped our store sign to Closed as it was lunch hours. Auntie went out with Uncle to eat. That's why I was alone and wouldn't be able to handle an influx of customers in parallel with some urgent admin tasks.
Most of our chores were to arrange the pre-ordered flowers. Dahil malapit na ang holidays, bumuhos ang trabaho. We were still accepting walk-in customers, but only until all the pre-arranged flowers for the day were sold.
I was busy on the store's laptop, responding to clients' emails and doing inventory. Nasa countertop ang laptop at nakatayo ako habang nagtatrabaho. My legs went numb from sitting so much this morning! Anong oras ba babalik 'yong dalawang matandang nag-date?
"You're alone?" Kasabay ng boses ang katok sa pader na kahoy na naghihiwalay sa small office at sa display area.
"Hmm?" Tumaas ang dalawa kong kilay. I was still busy composing emails but I answered Archer, "Yup! The oldies were out for lunch."
It was several days after Elon had left the city—thank God! Pero hindi na natuloy ang something fun namin ni Archer because of the holiday rush. He was busy at the hotel, and we were busy here at Daily Bloom.
Madalas pa rin naman siyang pumupunta rito kahit busy pero hindi nga lang nagtatagal. Usually, he was here at lunch hours. Kung working lunch naman siya, sa gabi siya nandito tapos sabay kaming uuwi.
Shet, label na lang talaga! O kaya, go na sa singsing. Char.
"Wow, you're really busy, huh?" nangingiti niyang komento. I just looked at him for one good sec, then I was working again.
"Uu. Bakit, ikaw ba?"
Now, what materials are we low on now, hmm? Let's see. Let. Us. See—
Pinatong ni Archer ang baba niya sa balikat ko pagkapuwesto niya sa likuran ko, at ang mga kamay naman niya ay gumapang sa magkabila kong baywang. His breath was on my neck, briefly rubbing his nose on me. Taking his time, he angled his face up to me and left almost zero distance between his lips and my jaw. My whole body's gotten stiff, making me feel intoxicated in each passing second. He chuckled at my reaction, and his laugh was as inebriated as I was.
"You can continue working, Miss Henilza. Ignore me here. Hmm?"
Umirap ako at sobrang nakikipagtalo sa labi ko na 'wag ngumiti. Pinilit ko ang sarili kong magalit kasi busy talaga ako.
"Kasi, Archer. Nagtatrabaho kaya ako."
Busy ako. Busy ako. Focus. Focus!
Ano ba namang labi 'to? Akin ba 'to? Bakit hindi ko makontrol?!
"Two minutes lang po. I promise." Sinilip niya ako para ipakita ang halakhak niya, at naramdaman ko na naman ang init ng hininga niya sa leeg ko. Hindi ko kayang pigilan 'yong kiliting pinaparamdam niya kaya umiirap ako tuwing nagtatangkang lumabas ang ngiti ko.
Lord, ang hiling ko po label, pero bakit may pa-appetizer na ganap? Shocks. I'd always known it, that I was always your favorite mortal!
His hands only rested on my waist. But I felt offended, kasi bakit 'di pa siya tuluyang yumakap? Hindi ba ako huggable in my oversized yellow hoodie, really? Jeez!
"Arch kasi," I softly whined. Tonette, kinukuha na naman niya ang lakas ko. But it was in my spirit to helplessly cry because I love it and hate it, so help me, girl!
"Alright, alright. I'm all recharged now, anyway." He slowly broke away, but he was still amusedly laughing.
Napanguso ako. Grabe, hindi man lang nagpumilit? At saka bakit parang one minute and fifty-nine seconds lang 'yon? May isang segundo pa siya, ah.
"Busy ako now..." Umubo ako at umiwas. Sabay bulong ng, "Pero pwede namang mamaya na lang."
Dahil doon ay napangiti nang malapad si Archer. Sa himalang dahilan ay tinubuan ako ng hiya kaya nagkunwari na naman akong nauubo. Nilakasan ko pa nang sobra dahil alam kong pulang-pula na ang pisngi ko! It won't cover up my color, but I sure hoped it'd be an effective diversion!
Natigil lang ako nang ibalik niya ang baba niya sa balikat ko. Hindi na siya pumwesto sa likuran ko, kaya't ako ay napatanong sa langit ng nanginginig na bakit?
"Later, then." He smiled even more. "I don't think I'd be able to focus on work anymore. I just want to go home—"
Napalunok ako. Batting my eyelashes rapidly.
"—with you."
Anong oras na ba kasi? 'Di pa ba uwian?
"Wehhhhh..." I attempted to deadpan and rolled my eyes. The butterflies in me had built their own garden in my chest to pursue permanent residency. I knew they wouldn't leave anymore because of the everyday kilig-fest sponsored by Sir Archer Marsden.
And inside, I felt that the butterflies were definitely onto some rockin' party today! Crazy, crazy party!
Archer amusedly nodded. He was animated, but not until we heard the store's entrance open did he suddenly jerked to get as far as possible away from me.
Nagtataka kong pinanood siyang mataranta. Sa sobrang atras niya habang wala sa sarili ay sumakto ang sapatos niya sa loob ng metal bucket.
"Ah, shit!" mahina niyang mura habang winawagwag ang paa niya para matanggal sa balde, pero ayaw.
Medyo kinilabutan ako ro'n sa mura niya. Parang biglang uminit dito sa New York. More pa, mooore!
Natawa na ako nang malakas dahil siya naman ngayon ang sobrang namumula at mukhang kinakabahan. Lalo na noong sumilip dito sina Auntie at Uncle.
"O, Archer, narito ka pala," bati ni Auntie, at habang nagtatanggal siya ng coat ay napansin niya ang kalagayan ni Archer. "Napaano ka?"
I raised my chin. At binigyan ko ng pang-asar na ngiti si Archer. Napangiwi siya at natawa na naman ako nang malakas. Hindi na tuloy humupa ang pagkapula ng pisngi niya.
Walang ideya akong tiningnang pareho nina Auntie at Uncle, pero tumatawa lang akong nagkibit ng balikat. "May ginagawa po kasi 'yan. Tanong niyo siya kung ano."
"No! Uhh... wala po, Auntie." Malakas niyang winagwag ang paa, probably lost his patience, at sa wakas natanggal na 'yong balde. Natataranta siyang umiwas ng tingin at agad na nagpaalam. "Balik na ho ako sa office."
Sinundan namin siya ng tingin hanggang sa makalabas siya ng shop. Nawala na siya sa paningin namin, pero ilang segundo lang ang lumipas ay umatras siya sa sidewalk at sumilip sa salamin. Awkward siyang ngumiti at kumaway ng paalam sa 'kin.
Natatawa kong kinagat ang labi ko at saka kumaway pabalik. Naramdaman ko tuloy na napalingon sa 'kin si Auntie pero 'di ako tumingin pabalik. Nilagay ni Archer sa bulsa ang magkabilang kamay at seryosong tumango sa akin bago nagkumahog paalis.
Impit akong tumili at saka pinanggigilang pinisil ang braso ni Auntie. "Ang gwapo, Auntie! Shet! Akin 'yon!"
"Mahiyain pa rin," komento naman ni Uncle Benj sa pamangkin niya.
Nangiti lang ako. Ganado tuloy ako sa trabaho buong araw! My kilig-feels were replenished. Bitin, pero pwede na. I mean, meron pa naman mamaya, 'di ba? Kung nando'n na naman si Elon Henilza, o sinong sorpresa, magkakamatayan na talaga ng kuko sa paa. Sinasabi ko talaga, nako!
We finished our night earlier today because we hadn't got any flowers to work with anymore. I got home earlier than usual, too.
In my apartment, I had the sole responsibility for its maintenance. And it seemed like the night told me to dress in something as comfy as a black tube top and a CK femme boxer shorts, because I needed to fix my sink! Something got stuck in the pipe and I had to kick ass with some basic plumbing.
Saige called me for some bad news. I put her on speaker mode while I was in the middle of being a Handy Snooki. Apparently, our annual Christmas family celebration might get cancelled.
"Yeah, but, uhm, where will Lolo and Lola exactly gonna go again? Why on Christmas pa? I planned to go home pa naman!"
"They didn't say. I'll ask later. But sayang! You'll bring home Archer, 'di ba? Or, I'm sorry, was that a part of your plan?" my cousin asked.
I wrinkled my nose at that. "What? No! Not yet, at least. I don't want to scare him."
"Oh, like how you didn't scare him when you randomly asked him if he liked you? Damn, cousin, that was only weeks after you arrived!"
How did she—napatayo ako agad kaya nauntog ako sa kanto ng loob ng cabinet. Well, darn it!
"Before you ask, it's Elon," she said nonchalantly.
"Ugh, that dude." I rolled my eyes. Pumasok ulit ako sa cabinet nang malaman kung sino ang salarin. I need to get this plumbing work over and done with.
"Yeah. And the hearsay was that all our parents were planning to do the same. You know, ditch their kids."
"Really? My mom and dad, too? Hindi sila nagsabi!" I couldn't believe it. "We never celebrated the holidays incomplete! Ano 'yon, they just felt some tiny nostalgic teenage hormones, wanted more of it, and suddenly they're all bound to somewhere? Like, jeez, they have kids! Newsflash?"
"Snooks, we aren't kids anymore. But wow. That's exactly how you sound every time you're robbed of happiness, sourpuss." Tumawa siya sa kabilang linya. "Are you still going home, though?"
"I mean, yeah. Why the hell not? I don't want to spend the holidays without you guys. It's bad enough that—"
"Yeah... well... about that," she started off slowly and rather unconfidently. "I kinda—I mean, we all kinda planned out differently for the holidays. So..."
"What?!" I jumped out of the cabinet and raised my voice at my phone's mic.
"So... this is good talk. You do good, Snooki, alright? Of course, you will. Thanks for hanging out! Bye!" sunod-sunod niyang sabi bago tinapos ang tawag.
I picked up my phone from the countertop and stared at it for a good full minute. Unleashing the residue of my intense feelings in silent suffering. How could my own family not love me?
Whatever. I'm still going home. I'll tail behind wherever any of my cousins will be. It's always easy to find them. But the easiest will be Vie. Or... hey, maybe I'll join her with that Caffè Sospeso thing. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that!
"Snooki?" my Manhattan's crushie's voice called from a distance.
"I'm a little occupied. Pasok lang!"
Nasa ilalim na kasi ulit ako ng cabinet, still exercising one of the trades of being a handy jack of everything. Also, I'd rate Tonette and her apartment a five out of five for providing a utility cabinet in here where I got the tools.
"You left your door open?"
I was wrenching something back to its place because I was already done. Nakasalpak pa rin ang ulo ko sa medyo madilim na cabinet pero sinagot ko pa rin naman siya.
"Well, yeah? S'why you're here now, Arch."
"I don't think you should be leaving it open, though."
Aw!
And that was me wincing because I hit my head just as I was standing up. Archer, on the other hand, was quick to caress my head.
"Yeah, but I still have my walis from the City of Pines, Philippines. Lethal weapon, very deadly. So..."
There was not a smile on his face because maybe he was tad disappointed, but he still caressed my head. Kikiligin sana ako kaso may naalala ako.
"Uhh... busy ka sa work? Thought you'd be off, uhm, earlier?"
Really, I was asking a question, but here he was dodging my eyes and flushing red. If I hadn't known better, I would assume that he was allergic to me.
"Hindi ka ba lalamigin?" he carefully asked, his polite eyes were anchored on the ground.
Dahan-dahan akong napatungo para tingnan ang sarili. I looked like an underwear model straight out of an undies magazine. Ah, shoot!
Napatakbo agad ako sa kwarto para magsuot ng hoodie. The yellow, and the only one I had here, was my favorite. Pagkasuot ko ay medyo nahihiya pa akong lumabas ng kwarto.
Nakaupo na si Archer sa bar stool. I had my shy eyes locked on him, while he had his on the strawberry and chocolate dip on the bar surface.
"Sorry, I got off late. I was handing work over to a colleague."
I pursed my lips and timidly nodded, gracefully taking the chair beside him. My suspicious heart told me to insist the conversation.
"Ah, sino?" I asked, picking one strawberry to fidget on while I waited.
"Even if I say a name—" Nahinto siya at natawa nang umirap ako.
"Si Grazie?"
"How did you—"
"Oh. E 'di siya nga." I narrowed my eyes and popped the strawberry right into my mouth.
"Yeah, Grazie. I'll soon have my annual break." Napangisi siya. "And she'll takeover all my work."
"Of course, she will. Like how she did it the time you went with us to New Jersey, right?" I said in the most casual tone I could muster. But given the amused reaction in Archer's eyes, I knew it was totally not casual. Darn it!
"Snooki, nagseselos ka ba—"
"Whaaat? No, me? Selos? What is jealousy, even? It's not in my book, haven't heard of it before. Nope! What a very very foreign word!"
Instead of one strawberry, I took in three. And as soon as I saw an impish smile on his lips, I munched some more!
"Grazie is my ex-girlfriend, if you're seizing me for a confirmation."
Naubo ako. This time, it was a real ubo, because I was eating, but it wasn't at that Heimlich maneuver kinda level. Kumuha kaagad si Archer ng tubig at ininom ko naman agad.
"What do you mean confirmation? 'Di ah!" depensa ko kaagad nang maka-recover kahit papaano.
"Alright, then." He laughed like he didn't believe me an ounce. "But Grazie's really only a colleague."
"Hmm. Well, sure, I believe you."
"But we went to the same high school, and we only reconnected a couple of years ago when she asked me for help in getting a job."
"Ah, may history." Nakataas ang isa kong kilay habang tumatango. Sa strawberries lang ako nakatingin kasi, wala, ito lang naman ang magandang tingnan ngayong gabi. Hindi kailangan ng debate.
"Grazie's my high school bully, actually." I whipped my eyes back at him, and he smiled rather despairingly.
"Wait. No way?" hindi ko makapaniwalang tanong, bahagya pang nalaglag ang panga ko. "But you still you dated her? I mean, come on!"
"Bumait," tanging sagot niya, natatawa-tawa pa. Umirap ako, this time, malditang-maldita at kitang-kita niya para sumagad sa buto niya.
"We only dated briefly. It started when her employment in our hotel was being processed, and we ended when she perceived me as an unhealthy competition at work."
"But how about now? Parang binibigay mo na lagi ang trabaho mo sa kanya. Won't that give her an edge?"
"It's her advantage, yeah." Tumango siya. "Pero kung ang kapalit naman ay makasama ka, then I'll always and willingly give it to her."
I rolled my eyes and bit the inside of my cheeks. "Hindi ako kinikilig."
Napangiti at umiling lang siya. Kinuha niya ang leeg ko para mailapit ang mukha ko sa kanya. Pupunasan lang pala niya ang gilid ng labi ko, at heto naman ako na akala ay iba ang mangyayari!
Inikot niya ang upuan ko at hinila ito palapit sa kanya. I was once again experiencing a stiff and tingled body. It intensified when he tipped his nose against mine.
"Hindi ka kinikilig? Hindi ka rin nagseselos?" tanong niya sa mapaglarong tono. Mabilis akong umiling kahit bumibigat na ang talukap ng mga mata ko.
"Ano lang, Snooki? Hmm?" malambing niyang tanong. His hands found their way to their rightful spot on my waist.
Iniwas ko na ang mukha ko dahil kailangan kong huminga. Pero hinabol lang niya ako at ipinakita pa lalo sa akin ang mapaglarong ngiti sa labi niya.
"Why can't you look me in the eyes, if you aren't, Snooki?" He softly chuckled.
"UnfairNapakagwapoMoKasi," I mumbled with a brief groan. His arched brows told me my words weren't distinct, which was what I was precisely going for.
Dahil hindi ko na alam ang gagawin, mabilis akong kumuha ng strawberry na isinawsaw sa chocolate at saka iyon dinala sa labi niya. Natawa siya at umawang ang labi niya kaya naipasok ko 'yong prutas sa bibig niya. He chewed it, anyway.
There was a graze of chocolate on the side of his lips, and I wanted to wipe it off but he caught my hand early.
"Ayoko ng kamay, gusto ko niyan." He pouted his lips to point at—
Natigilan ako nang mapagtanto ang sinasabi niya. "Oy, that's my line!"
"Yeah?" Nangingiting kinagat niya ang labi niya. "So you know what I want now?"
The glow in his teasing eyes was almost too hypnotic that I couldn't tear my gaze away from him. I nodded to answer his question, and I slowly inched towards him. My lips gently landed on the side of his lips, kissing the less half of it—feeling its inviting softness.
Both of our stares were drunken when I pulled away. I hopped off the bar stool and was about to flee to catch my breath, but he only drew me closer again.
"Meron pa. Hindi mo natanggal," he said teasingly.
Even his voice was intoxicated—intoxicating, even, that I could not resist what I couldn't fight against even before.
"Huh? Paano mo nasabi?" I asked in a hushed, shy voice. My knees were at its weakest, and the thunder in my chest were at its loudest.
He caressed my waist with his fingertips, and his other hand stroked the strayed locks away from my eyes. His face was angled down, trying to reach mine, because he sat atop the bar stool.
My bare feet tingled in the cold as I tiptoed to reach him. Before I could lose my stance, both of his arms engulfed my small love handles. He was hugging me as if I was his. And I didn't care, because in some ways, I actually was.
"Kamay ko na lang kasi. 'Di kaya kita abot," I baby-talked and pouted. But he playfully pouted, too, challenging the limits of my stoicism.
Eh mahina nga ako! Kaya 'di ako nakapagpigil, humalik na tuloy ako.
Pero mabilis lang! Smack lang ang binigay ko. Hiyang-hiya pa ako kaya natawa tuloy siya.
"Inaasar mo na lang ako, e." Umirap ako. Nakangiti niya akong inilingan. "'Wag mo nga akong titigan."
"I like looking at you up close," he coaxed. Iirap na ulit sana ako pero nawala ako sa wisyo nang buhatin niya ako para iupo sa countertop. He stood up and pushed the bar stool behind him. Our faces were finally on the same level. "There, hindi mo na ako kailangang abutin."
Halos magdikit na ang noo namin, pero nag-iwan pa rin siya ng puwang para makahinga ako. Malapit sa akin ang mapungay niyang mata, ang matangos niyang ilong, at ang mapulang labi. By the words reflected in his eyes, it spoke that it was all mine to take.
"Wala na kayang dumi," mahina kong sabi.
"Wala na ba?" He softly chuckled, and flirtatiously rubbed his nose against mine. "Alright. Then, it's my turn now to kiss you."
Just as I thought my heart rate was already at max, it quickened even more when his hand streamed at the back of my neck and carefully lowered me in. It brought my lips against his lips.
He smiled when we touched. Dahil tinutukso na naman niya ako, marahan ko siyang tinulak palayo at umirap. Nangiti lang siya lalo.
"Why? Your lips make me so fucking happy," he said, then gave me a quick playful kiss. I couldn't say anything, so he kissed me once more... then again... and again...
Damn, even his cuss was both precious and... hot. Somebody should smite me! I needed to know if I was in a dream!
Padampi-dampi ang halik niya sa labi ko habang nangingiti siya dahil sa mga irap ko. I was obviously faking it, because, in truth, I was already drowning. But this was a plight where I could breathe underwater, and that being breathless was a long-time dream.
Habang nasa leeg ko ang isa niyang kamay, ang isa niyang braso ay nakaikot sa likod ko na ngayo'y mahigpit akong niyayakap.
"O-oy!" I stammered. Darn it! "Ano? Si Archer ka ba talaga? Bakit ang touchy mo?" I liked it, though, so frickin' much!
He suddenly stepped back a bit, and his brows creased. He looked concerned, worried even.
"Uhm, sorry, am I making you feel uncomfortable—"
"NO!" I reacted way too fast. Parang nabigla rin siya sa lakas ng boses ko. Napalunok ako at napatingala agad dahil sa hiya. But in my small voice, I still said, "You never once made me feel uncomfortable, Archer. And, uhm... definitely not right now."
Bumalik ang ngisi niya nang ako na mismo ang humila sa collar niya pabalik sa 'kin. Sa kisame pa rin ako nakatingin kasi 'di pa rin ako nahihimasmasan!
His touch on my cheek, which was as light as a feather, carried my eyes back to him. He smiled and sincerely said, "Sobrang ganda mo, Snooki."
Pinilit kong ikunot ang noo ko dahil nakatakas ang ngiti ko at nakita niya 'yon, kaya humalakhak na naman siya.
"Kainis." Napanguso ako.
Without saying anything more, he kissed me again. Briefly and always playfully, as if he liked letting me know that every time our lips touched, he was happy.
Despite the kisses being chaste, it turned the time so slow, enough for me to gently savor the soft mould of his lips. We kissed a couple of times before, but all our kisses felt like my first. It didn't feel like anything except that he wanted to kiss me out of affection and respect.
Nakaupo pa rin ako sa countertop at umupo na si Archer sa bar stool. Hindi natanggal ang braso niya sa baywang ko. And my hands? Well, I had both of my hands on the sides of his neck, caressing his jawline with my thumb.
"Sana 'di ka laging busy 'cause... I like us like this."
He watched me speak with drowsy eyes and a playful smile.
"Malapit na ang annual leave ko. My time is yours for the whole December, Miss Snooki. I'll be with you at Daily Bloom, to the grocery, here... wherever you wanna go, tell me. Use me at your disposal." He chuckled.
"Paano kung gusto ko pa rin hanggang January? Come February? Come... forever?" mahina kong tanong at kinagat ko ang labi ko. I pointed my index finger at his chest and drew nonsense doodles.
"Then, we need something more powerful than an annual break for that."
Hinuli niya ang kamay ko para mapagsalikop ang kamay namin.
"Hmm? Like what?"
"A ring."