As for Louis Tomlinson, he wanted, for as long as he can remember, to find his soulmate, as a kid. He wanted to find that one person that was made for him. The one person that would love him and never let him go. That one girl that was meant to be with him because they were soulmates since birth. But life turned out differently in many ways and Louis realised that it was nothing more than a beautiful dream and fate hated him. Life had scarred him, and he knew now that he was meant to be alone and that was okay, most of the time.
When he was around 13 years old, the boys in his class started to check out the girls a bit more and literally drooled over them like some sick perverted animals. Louis thought he should do that too, but he found nothing attractive about boobs and vaginas. For a while, he just shrugged it off and thought he'd come into this phase later. But as it turned out this phase never came. He realised that one day when he accidentally walked in on his best friend Jacob's brother Kyle showering. As soon as he had spotted him under the shower, looking all wet and attractive, Louis had stopped in his tracks and just stared at him for far too long. He had stared at Kyle's back muscles, his ass and after he had turned around, Louis had definitely stared at his huge ... Anyway, that was the day he knew.
But this was also the day his whole life had changed. Jacob had caught him staring at Kyle, which had startled Kyle too and had ended in a lot of second-hand embarrassment. After Louis got kicked out by his supposedly best friend, he ran home crying. This was all too much for him. He had hoped his whole life to find that one girl that was meant to be with him and live happily ever after and now he turned out to be gay. He had nothing against it in particular. He had just thought back then that soulmates were supposed to be straight and he was doomed to be forever alone now, which wasn't that far away from the truth that he had learned about over the years.
Being back in school didn't really help his feeling of being abnormal. Jacob ignored him completely, which didn't go unnoticed by other people. When Jacob was asked why he had ditched his best friend, he had just told everyone that he didn't want a creepy gay stalker that spies on his brother as a friend. This caused his whole class to start bullying him for who he was. Abashed, he had told his mother about what had happened after she had noticed Jacob never came around anymore and Louis was more reserved than before. She just hugged him sadly and told him she would always love and support him. The physical and mental bullying went on until they were in Junior Year and they had better things to do and got separated for most of the time. But it didn't completely stop, just got less than before unfortunately.
In his junior year, Louis met his new best friend Zayn. He had moved to Famumria (a fictional town) after his parents' divorce and transferred to his school. At first, Louis stayed away from the new kid as far as humanly possible because he was sure no one could like him for real. Also, the new kid looked pretty intimidating with that raven-black hair, those dark eyes, sharp facial features and leather clothes. But turned out Louis was utterly wrong.
One day both of them ended up in a corner outside of the school building, taking a smoke. Louis had started to smoke because it calmed him down when he was bullied too much. Luckily, he knew a place where he could get his cigarettes although he wasn't eighteen yet. That day, Zayn had forgotten his cigarettes and shockingly shy asked Louis for one, which he dumbfoundedly handed over to him wordlessly. After a quiet thank you and a small smile from both boys, the unexpected happened. Louis felt a weird tingling on his right arm near his wrist and one second later the word cigarette was written on it in bold but small letters. They just stared at the words and stroked carefully over them before they looked at each other. This was his first-ever bonding moment.
That day they had skipped the next lessons and went to town to get to know each other better. After talking for hours, they had learned they had a lot in common. Music and movie taste, same humour and they were both gay and were bullied before. They even shared their full names with each other, but it turned out they were not meant to be more than friends.
And that's what they've become very quickly. The best of friends. They did everything together and mastered their last two years in this hell hole named High School and this shit place of a town. They even were each other's first kiss and stuff like that because both boys had given up on that chance of finding their soulmate and they knew they would never make any experiences in that shitty school full of homophobes. So, they made the deal to take certain steps together. Who was better for that than your best friend?
By now they were used to their occasional snogging sessions and jerking each other off when needed or when they were drunk. The farthest they've ever gone was that one of them had fingered himself and the other had watched which followed a blowjob. But now that they were starting Uni, they had decided to stop and find themselves other partners or whatever life decided to give them. If it wouldn't work out, they still had each other in the end. No one could separate them.
Right now, Zayn and Louis were sitting on Louis' window ledge, taking a smoke. School was over and they had all of their stuff packed for Uni. Looking over the neighbourhood put Louis in a strange mood. He was happy to get out of here but at the same time, he felt sad to leave his home behind, no matter how shitty his time here has been. He had grown up in this town and has never been anywhere else. Now he was about to leave for the first time and start a completely new life in a totally unknown city. That was frightening.
"I feel the same way, Tommy" spoke Zayn up like he could read his mind. He was the only person who called him Tommy instead of Louis or Tommo, a nickname for his last name.
"It's just weird. I shouldn't feel sad to leave this shit place of a town but strangely enough, I am" took Louis a drag of his fag and then breathed the smoke out into the air of the early evening.
"But it makes sense. You grew up here and no matter where you go, this will always be your home. It's the first time you'll leave. Of course, it's sad and scary. Who knows what might happen at Uni. Gosh, even I am a bit sad and I lived here for only two years" said Zayn with pure understanding for his best friend's feelings.
"This is where we met. I'd be offended if you weren't sad" grinned Louis cheekily.
"Don't be so full of yourself. I can't wait to meet new people" laughed Zayn, putting out his fag.
"And abandon me? Wow, great friend you are" snorted Louis jokingly.
"I'm the best and you know that" wiggled Zayn his eyebrows at him.
"I know" smirked Louis at him dirtily.
"Don't give me that face, Tommy. We made the deal to stay totally innocent with each other from now on" reminded Zayn him playfully.
"You're not gonna miss this?" pointed Louis at his body.
"Hell, I'm gonna miss every piece of it, you piece of art" exaggerated Zayn laughingly, pinching Louis' thigh.
"Aye, hands to yourself, Javy" warned Louis him with a wink.
"Then don't be so perfect, for fuck's sake. No one will be able to resist you as soon as we enter that freaking Uni and you won't be able to save yourself with all those people drooling after you and I'm gonna be all alone in my corner crying over our past time" faked Zayn some tears and sobs.
"You're such a drama queen" pushed Louis his best friend aside.
"I've learned from the best" grinned Zayn at him.
"Well, to be honest with you, I'd be happy if I even make friends, to begin with. Who knows if those people are more accepting or even worse than our dearest classmates" voiced Louis his honest doubts.
"I assure you, it's gonna be great. Have a bit of faith in the future" smiled Zayn encouragingly at him.
"That's not my greatest talent" sighed Louis out.
"Doesn't have to be. Just don't close yourself off from the start and give them the chance to gain your trust. Don't push everyone away. That's my job" advised Zayn him.
"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Javy" hugged Louis him closely.
"No problem. I should head home now. It's getting dark and my Mum wants me home for dinner a last time" broke Zayn away from the embrace.
"I should head downstairs, too" climbed Louis back into his room.
"See you tomorrow morning, Tommy" leaned Zayn over to the large tree next to Louis' bedroom window.
"You wanna use the door for once?" cocked Louis an eyebrow at him amusedly.
"I'm gonna leave the same way I've always come up" stated Zayn before he climbed down that tree until he stood back on the ground. He waved at Louis and then headed back home.
Louis looked after his friend until he couldn't see him anymore and then left his room to look for his family. He found his mother in the kitchen, preparing their dinner. Slowly, he walked over to her and simply hugged her from behind, not even startling her because she was used to it.
"How was Zayn?" checked his mother Johanna.
"How do you know?" questioned Louis although he knew the answer.
"You're always up there together" answered Johanna and Louis could practically hear the eye-roll in her voice. "And I can smell it".
"Mum ...".
"I know, Boobear. I'm not saying anything. It's your life and I know you're not doing it that often anymore" cut Johanna him off, referring to the smoking.
"Nope. I'm gonna stop. It's not an addiction yet and I want a fresh start for Uni" said Louis determined.
"That's good to hear. Is everything ready for tomorrow?" hooked Johanna while she finished the food.
"Everything's packed and done. Only me missing" let Louis go of her now.
"Great. Can you set the table, please?" asked Johanna him.
He just nodded and started to set the table. When he was done, he already heard the footsteps of his sisters coming down the stairs. Joyfully, they came into the open kitchen and urged for their food. As they spotted Louis standing there, sadness was seen in their eyes and a rush of overwhelming sadness overcame him too. This was his last family dinner for a long time. From tomorrow on he would be living in a different town in a dorm with a hopefully nice stranger without his family. He wouldn't be able to see his sisters in the morning or after school or even before bed to wish them a good night. Of course, he will call very often but it just wasn't the same. He was missing them already and understood why his beautiful two pairs of twin sisters were sad tonight.
Johanna brought the food over to the table and soon after, everyone started eating. She was good at pushing the obvious tension and sad mood away for a while and engulfed her children into much-needed conversations of their days. The younger twins told them about this art project they're doing now as a start of the new school year. The older ones complained about their already stressing teachers and Louis felt weird not to be in school anymore. He just told them about Zayn and left out the 'leaving his family' part on purpose. For one meal he pretended nothing was about to change.
But lying in bed later on Louis felt the reality crashing down on him harshly. Sadness and a bit of guilt for leaving his family behind but also excitement for the new unknown future. Hope was what he felt the most, no matter how hard he tried to fight it. Hope for a better time. Hope for nice and accepting people. Hope that his new life wouldn't go to shit as he expected it.
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Question Of The Chapter: Is Hope worth it?