Help me...if you can

Part 8

I used to smile like a little kid that had dreams

Now those dreams have turned to nightmares

Mainly because you left

My life was so great

Than you left

You left me hanging like a decoration on a Christmas tree

My eyes used to be so bright

So Blue

Now there gray

Now they don't show color

The only thing that has color anymore is my hair

My heart doesn't even beat the same

Once you left I stopped taking care of it

I got sick of being hurt

Now my heart is just a mussle in my body

It doesn't even feel anymore

I thought I'd be fine without you

That had to be the biggest lie I've ever told

Wait no the biggest lie was "I'm fine."

Days like this I wanna stay in bed

I dont wanna move, eat, or even smile

You took every last bit of happiness I had

We talked some yesterday

I die every second of it

You've acted like I was nothing

Like nothing to you at all

But I guess that was something every guy did

I thought you were different

But looks like you just wanted my heart

I gave it to you

And goddamn....that was the worse mistake of my life

While I write this I sit in a car

I sit and wonder what could I could have done better

Our song repeats in my head over and over

God I hate it

I wish I never fell in love with you

You've hurt me so bad I dont even want to say "I love you"

I hate myself for loving you but you know what

I wish I never kissed you

I bet if I never kissed you...my heart wouldn't hurt so much

You ruined my happiness

The bad thing...I can't fucking ruin yours

There is nothing I can do

I dont know what you did

I will never understand

I'm just that stupid freshmen

So fuck everything

I'm nothing

I wish I could call you nothing but no I can't

Because you're my everything

I hate everything about you

I hate that you made me fall for you when you didn't plan on catching me

I hate that I kissed you and liked it

I hate that you will never understand this pain

I hate that you'll never be mine again

I hate that you meant the world to me

I hate that we were so close

I hate that you say that you were never happy

I gave you everything I had

Now I have nothing

So fuck you

Fuck everything about you

I hope you crash and burn

I hope you go through everything I'm going through

I hope you find someone who makes you happy

Then out of no where they break you

I hope they rip your heart out in front of you

Then they see it slowly beating

Then they crush it like you crushed me

But you won't

Because why would they

Why would anyone ever hurt you

No one gives a fuck

My heart broke but guess what

No one cares

I'm still breathing but it hurts like hell

A broken heart hurts

Mainly because no one but you can feel it

Its like broken ribs...it hurts every time you move

But no one can fucking see it

But you sure as hell feel it because its in your body

I'm still alive but I'm holding by a thread by breathing

I just pray to a god that I really dont believe in

I'm falling to pieces

But no one can fix me

No one has strong enough glue

But oh well

Its a heart break

I'll get over it sooner or later