What Was Left

Chapter 2

Brienne was everything that Jaime had longed for his entire life. All that he had been denied, and all he yearned to be. Gods, how he loved her. He had never told her. Would she have believed him? Could Brienne have ever trusted that his heart truly belonged only to her now, forever? He feared her rejection. The way Cersei would have laughed and belittled him at the declaration of such emotions. There were times during that wonderful moon they had spent together at Winterfell, that Jaime would catch Brienne staring at him, watching him, almost trying to memorize him. It was as if something told her their happy bliss would not last. Tears found Jaime's eyes, realizing how correct she had been.

More than he would have hoped, Jaime's mind traveled back to the horrible night of his worst fault. The nightmare plagued him still. It visited him the first night he and Brienne had shared their passion, and nearly every night since. So jarring, so shocking was it that he found himself bolted awake drenched in sweat and starved for breath. In his sleeping state, Jaime saw Cersei discovering his love for Brienne, understood his heart belonged to another, and realized that that he never wanted to be near her again. His mind then watched in horror as Cersei slaughtered Brienne in front of his eyes. He was powerless to stop it, unable to save the woman he loved.

At first, Jaime tried to ignore the terror that haunted him in the dark. He told himself that he would never let Cersei get that close to Brienne. He believed he could protect her. So he buried the nightmare in the light of day, and lost himself in their new found happiness. That was, until the day Sansa Stark told him of Cersei's ambush of Daenarys Targaryen's army. Suddenly the nightmare was all too possible, and all too real. For the first time he understood the danger in which he had put Brienne. That night, when he was roused from his slumber, he watched Brienne sleeping so peacefully beside him in their bed, and knew it was a chance he could not take.

He wanted to hurt her. Jaime needed to make Brienne hate him. It was the only way he could ensure she would not follow him. At first he thought slipping away under cover of darkness without saying a word, would be so callous that Brienne would never look upon with love again. But she had caught him, stopped him. Her sweet face had been so desperate, so dear, that he could not bear to look. He had never seen her beg, for anything, not even her life. Yet in the cold darkness, as he prepared to leave her, she pleaded with him not to go. That was when he was certain Brienne loved him as much as he loved her. Each of the tears that fell bitterly upon her cheeks were blades that sliced his heart until he was numb. He did not dare peer into her deep blue eyes. He could only hold Brienne's trembling wrist with his gloved hand and try to comfort her. It was a pitifully small attempt, yet still she saw only the good in him. No steel through his flesh, no pile of bricks crushing his bones could ever be more painful than saying goodbye to her.
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Life at Winterfell carried on as usual, servants and bannermen worked to fulfill the needs of the Starks and those over whose welfare they were charged. Preparations were being made for Sansa's brother, Bran, to travel once more to King's Landing to assume the throne, no longer iron. Queen Sansa endeavored tirelessly to watch over it all, and ruled the frigid North with kindness and honor, as her family had done for centuries. However, in the tiny comfortable chamber which housed the daughter of Tarth and her infant son, the room in which the child had been conceived and born, life was warm and gentle and new.

Despite never having dreamed of becoming a mother, Brienne took naturally to her role as if it had always been her destiny. She cared meticulously for her child's every need, and had never felt so happy. To her astonishment, Brienne became so busy seeing to her babe, that thoughts of the boy's father soon faded to what she deemed their proper place at the back of her mind. Even as her body healed, and she regained her strength she began to forge a new identity for herself, and her son, separate from The Kingslayer.