Life Rarely Ends Well: A Collection of Impressionistic Melodramas

-4-

A year had passed since Adelaide last saw Edmund. She could still envision him in her mind, unhappy and desperate while she was leaving. She thought it'd better so. She thought that she had no feelings for him, but it wasn't true. During the time she was in Berlin without him, she gradually realized that she loved him very much. Unfortunately when she was with him, she didn't feel it. People could never appreciate what they had and started valuing it only after they’d lost it. 

Adelaide found out that she could not be happy without Edmund and that all the success and fame that she was experiencing in Berlin seemed detestable to her. She couldn't enjoy anything when he wasn't at her side. So after a year of performing in Berlin, she left her job and returned to Prague to find him. 

She found out that he was supposed to be at a ball in the centre of town so, through one old friend, she procured herself an invitation and now she was standing in front of the door of the big ballroom trying to gather the strength to enter. She so wanted to see him again, but she feared how he'd accept her. After all, she broke his heart. He would have the right to hate her. And yet, she hoped that he'd forgive her and accept her ardent love. 

So she entered and started looking for him. She searched for him among the dancers, among the men that were sitting at the bar and among those standing on the balcony. But she couldn't find him anywhere. She already wanted to give up and leave when, suddenly from the crowd, she heard the voice of the man she was searching for. 

He was just walking by with two glasses of champagne in his hands. 

Adelaide didn’t hesitate to call to him, "Edmund!"

He stopped, looked at her and, without betraying any emotions, answered, "Adelaide. I haven't seen you for a long time. A lot has changed here."

"Yes, I heard what happened to Dorián. It must have been horrible…"

"It was. To die so young… I don't want to speak about that. The pain is still too fresh. Tell me what you're doing here."

"I came to you."

"To me? What do you need from me?"

"You shall tell me no more? You aren't happy to see me?"

"Adelaide, look at it from my point of view. If you were me, would you be happy?"

"Your coldness is killing me!"

"Since when do you care?"

"Since the moment I first saw you. I love you. I just discovered it too late."

Edmund didn't answer. For a while, he looked at her with an unchanged expression, then he gently caressed her cheek and kissed her.

Everything happened so quickly that Adelaide didn't manage to keep track of it. She recovered from that shock only the next morning when she woke up in Edmunds bed. She was delighted and ashamed at the same time. She wanted to awaken to her wedding night. But when it was with the man she would soon marry, it wasn't that bad. So she forgot all remorse and hugged her lover. But he pushed her away, sat on the edge of the bed and started to dress himself. Adelaide turned a bit unsure and, with fear, watched Edmund stand and put on his coat.

"Where are you going? You won't stay here with me?" she asked.

"No. I won't stay and neither will you. I'm going out and when I return, I might be accompanied by a different woman. Your presence here would be undesirable, so it would be better if you leave in an hour."

"What do you want to say? Do you have other lovers?"

"I wanted to hint it politely, but if you don't understand then, even though it's impolite nowadays, I'll tell you what I want straightforwardly. Yes, I have plenty of lovers and I don't want to leave them because of you. You are nothing exceptional among them, just another from many. Do you understand?"

"Oh, Edmund what has become of you!"

"You made me this way, cruel viper! Before I had met you, I used to believe in good and that life had some deeper purpose. But when you abandoned me, you killed all the hope and faith that was in me. Now I know that life is only a delusion, only the shadow of nothingness. There is no sense in trying to accomplish something in life. After our death what will be of it? Nothing. When we die, we won't care about anything anymore, because we'll be dead. There is no heaven nor hell. There is just this fleeting life. So why suffer unavailingly trying to do things that seem good and correct but do not bring any pleasure? Pleasure is the only thing for what we live. After all, the only thing in life that matters is how we enjoy ourselves."

"What are you saying? That isn't true!"

"But yes it is. The world is a desolate, cruel place. Thank you for making me realise it."

"Edmund, please don't! Don't leave me! It can still end well!"

"Life rarely ends well."

Edmund looked at Adelaide for the last time, opened the door and left. Adelaide wept alone, dishonoured and humiliated, cursing the name of her lover.