Down For The Count

Wrong Puzzle Piece

And Lin and Vanessa aren't mine, they never will be. It's like trying to jam the wrong puzzle piece into a puzzle. It just doesn't work, and it's not meant to be.

"Are you sure you're alright, P?" Vanessa asked me, causing Lin to look over too.

"Yeah, I just...don't feel great." I said quietly, closing my eyes and leaning forward as I rubbed my temples. My head was killing me.

"Thinking too hard?" Lin laughed a little, obviously meaning it as a joke. But I was thinking too hard, way too hard. My thoughts were strangling me.

I stayed silent, only shrugging at Lin's suggested joke.

"Train?" Sebastian said, pointing over at the TV in the living room.

"My man. You're a genius." Lin nodded, picking up Sebastian, although I had no clue what he was talking about. He looked over at Vanessa and I like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Come on. We're watching a movie."

How he got that from a toddler pointing at the TV and saying "train"? I have no clue.

Lin and Sebastian settled onto the couch, Vanessa getting up and beginning to clear some of the dinner plates away.

I only sat there, staring down at my plate. I only had one bite left, which I managed to take down, my plate empty.

Portions were small nowadays, and I appreciated that. I liked that we were building up rather than jumping right into large portions.

Granted...we haven't technically built up yet. My portions have remained the same small amount within the past few days. But that's okay, we'll build up soon maybe.

Vanessa gave me a small smile, clearing my plate and walking over to the kitchen, leaving me alone at the table.

I think...eating was good tonight. The portion was tiny, it wasn't anything to be proud of, but I still felt good. I mean...as good as one can feel when their stomach is in constant attack mode.

But I didn't get sick tonight, something that's been a struggle lately, so I counted that as a victory.

I watched Vanessa walk over to the living room, sitting right on the couch beside Lin and Sebastian, my thoughts returning to where they were earlier.

They were picture perfect, and I'm just the nuisance. Right now, the three of them on the couch together, they look like a family. If I sat on the couch with them, I would just make it look so...out of place.

I'm so out of place. It makes me feel weird.

Like I don't belong here.

"P?" I heard Vanessa say, breaking me from my train of thoughts. She looked concerned from her spot on the couch, obviously wondering why I was just sitting at the dinner table all zoned out. "Are you coming?"

They were picture perfect, and I would hate to be the one to ruin that picture.

I slowly shook my head. "No, I'm...I'm okay."

Lin frowned, looking over at me too and looking very upset. "But it's family movie night."

"Exactly, it should just be the three of you."

The comment made both Lin and Vanessa turn around, looking very alarmed, and I realized maybe I should've said something that gave away my thoughts a little less.