Between a death and a hard place

Longest day

I carefully slide the key into the front door and wince as I hear the lock slam open, its late and the last thing that I want is to wake you. Without turning on the lights I find myself in unfamiliar surroundings. The furniture looks different in this light and the photos of our happy family are almost unrecognisable. I think to myself how tired I am and this must be why everything feels a little off. I continue into the dining room and place my things on our new table, the curtains are open and the moonlight shines brightly in here and everything starts to feel a little normal, a little more like home. I strip off my clothes and put them in the machine ready for the morning and take a cold beer from the fridge, cursing under my breath because this isn’t the brand that I like, I open it anyway and take a small sip.
Now I head upstairs; pushing my feet tight against the wall to stop the creaking and once at the top I slip inside our bedroom. This has always been the darkest room of the house and so I cannot see where I am walking, I stub my toe on the corner of the bed, stifling my shrieks of pain I hobble over to the bedside and find you laying across the bed, I reach out and gently brush my fingers across your arm causing you to stir. I take this chance to kiss you on your cheek and hold you tightly so that you know that I will never let you go and with another swift kiss on the cheek I get up, grab a used towel off of the radiator and head down the hall to the bathroom flipping the shower on as I go.
I finish stripping down and put my last few items of clothing in a pile on the floor, knowing how much you hate this I remind myself to move them afterwards and step into the shower. As I rub myself down I realise that all of my shower gel has gone so I pick up one of your more floral scented bottles and begin to clean myself. The hot water washes away the pain and stress of the long day and I find myself enjoying this a little too much.
Once I am clean and relaxed I step out of the shower, wrap a towel around my waist and walk back out onto the landing. I decide to look in on our daughter and find myself ducking into her room. Once I am beside her bed I give her the same reassuringly tight squeeze that I gave her mother then take her in my arms and carry her to your bedside. Gently placing her in your arms I round the bed stopping at your dresser to take out the painkillers that you keep there and taking what I need to dull the pain I finish my beer in one go, dropping my towel I slide between the cold sheets and with one last kiss, this time on your soft lips, I tell you that I love you and lay back to join you in the land of eternal slumber.