Between a death and a hard place

Brotherly love

It had been a month since Matthew had been home, a month away for work, but now he was back. He was a day early and although he had planned to call Amanda and tell her that he was almost there he decided that he would surprise her. He had gotten off the train and decided to take the bus so that she would not know that he was home. Thoughts of their reunion had filled his mind the whole way back, thinking about how he would take her to dinner to her favourite place, a little Japanese restaurant that they had gone to on their first date. After getting off the bus a few stops early so that he could pick up her favourite flowers, Lilly's, to make sure that he did not arrive empty handed, he finally approached the corner of the street. He could feel himself smiling, he was genuinely excited to be home. Work had been terrible, he was sure he was about to get fired but right now, that did not matter. All that mattered to him was that he was home. He walked between two parked vans and out into the middle of the road, just as his front door opened. Like a deer caught in headlights, he froze for a second sure that he was about to be spotted and ruin the surprise, jumping backwards between the two vehicles so as not to be spotted he disappeared just in time to see Amanda walking out of the house.

"I'll see you later then?" he heard her asking someone back in the house and Matthew tried to lean out to see who it was, but he couldn't quite see without walking back into the road.

"You can see me now" came the reply, and as he was about to walk out and expose himself, he saw his brother exit the apartment and walk out towards Amanda. His brother was shirtless and his skin glistened with sweat as he walked over to Amanda, took her in one of his arms and planted a huge kiss on her lips. Matthew could see that this was not the first time the two of them had kissed, that they were all too familiar with one another and he fell backwards. Placing his head between his knees, and taking deep and yet rapid breaths he tried to explain what he had just witnessed in a way that didn't make him feel sick.

At least an hour had passed before Matthew was able to control himself, he had thought up every scenario that he possibly could by the time he stood up. He knew that there would be some good explanation that he had not thought of. There was absolutely no way that Amanda was having an affair with his brother. He stood up, brushed himself off and headed towards his home. As he reached the door, he took another deep and calming breath and walked inside. The house seemed so strange to him Amanda had always been house proud, everything had its place and there was never any mess anywhere, however now there was food still on the table. Two places set. There were multiple piles of clothes left lying around on the floor, beer cans and wine bottles lined the side of the sink. The state of the place had distracted him so much that he didn't realise that the shower had been running, or that it had stopped.

"Matthew?" the sound of surprise in his brothers' voice stunned him, and made him jump in equal measure. "I thought you was getting back tomorrow" he continued.

"Clearly" Matthew replied, his eyes darting around the house to the mess that was spread all over.

"Yeah sorry about all the mess" his brother proclaimed innocently. "Amanda let me crash here for a few days whilst you were out of town." His voice trailed as he tried to find the right words. "My place is erm" he started but was quickly cut off.

"Too far from Amanda I suppose" he hadn't meant to say it, and most certainly not with as much venom as he did but Matthew knew that the words needed to be said.

"What..." his brother started but he knew there was no point

"I saw you Simon, I saw both of you outside just now" his temper was growing and he could feel himself shaking as he tried to hold back. "How long?" he shouted, unable to stop himself any longer. "How long have the two of you been at it? How long have you been betraying me?" his anger forced a tear to escape and run down his cheek.

"I'm sorry little brother, I didn't mean..." his weak attempt to diffuse the situation just made Matthew even angrier.

"You didn't mean to? You didn't mean to what? What exactly didn't you mean to do? Tell me!"

The series of questions was too quick to allow Simon to answer, but that was fine by him. He had no answer. Nothing he could say could make this right.

"So, you have nothing to say?" Matthew began again

"No" was all the sound Simon could muster, however seeing that this was not enough of an answer he started again to try to break the silence. "She...she..." the words were there but he still struggled to say them.

"What? She what?" Matthew demanded, his hands beginning to ball into fists as he spoke.

"She hasn't been happy for years" the words almost felt like a relief for Simon to say and he was soon able to continue. "You don't appreciate her when you're here, you are gone for work more and more. You make her feel terrible for wanting a life, but then you don't want to go anywhere or do anything with her." His words flowed easier with every breath and it was soon apparent to them both that he wasn't finished but Matthew knew that he needed to interject, he had to stop his brother from saying these things. From saying these lies.

"ENOUGH!" he shouted, to which an instant silence fell across the room. "no matter what I have done, it did not give you the right to do this to me. You were my brother, MY brother. You should not have done it, you had no right." A single tear formed in his eye again and he stormed off into the bathroom so that his brother would not see him cry.

When he returned from the bathroom his brother was gone and he looked around at all the mess that was left. Frantically he began to clean, clearing all the rubbish away first and then putting everything back in its place. He washed the floors, the walls and even scrubbed the lamp clean. As he returned everything back the way it was meant to be. He had barely finished when he heard keys jingling in the front door, and as Amanda realised that it wasn't locked, she let herself in. entering the house Amanda was shocked to find Matthew standing there.

"He's gone" Matthew said as she entered the room, his voice filled with sorrow. "He has left us both and is not coming back" His words shocked Amanda as she had always thought hers' and Simons affair had been a secret.

"What do you mean?" she asked wearily, and with a tone of forced confusion "where has he gone? Why would he leave you?" her questions rolled off her tongue with ease but she could feel the strain of trying to sound confused and innocent as she said them.

"I mean he has gone, he has left for good and he will never be returning." The sharp tone in his voice took Amanda back and she stood in silence as she waited for him to speak again.

"And he left me for the same reason that he left you" his words were filled with hatred now and Amanda knew that her secret was a secret no more. She stepped forward her hand outstretched hoping to calm him with her touch but as she neared, he spun around suddenly and she jumped back in shock.

The hatred in his eyes however, seemed to disappear as soon as he looked upon her face and was replaced by his usual soft look.

"I am not mad at you, at either of you, I understand that I have played my part, not given you what you needed. I understand now that he gave you what I couldn't, but things will be different now." He stepped forward as he spoke and gently placed his hand on her cheek, and with a loving look in his eyes he pulled her close and with a forceful passion that had once seemed so alien to him he planted his lips against hers. His arms slipped around her waist as he continued to kiss her, and to his shock her lips began to move in unison with his own. The two lovers embraced as though it was for the first time and they were quickly undressing one another as they moved through the house towards the bedroom. In their lust filled movements they crashed through the furniture knocking things from the shelves as they thudded against the thin walls.

Matthew took her in his arms and carried her the last few feet to the bed, he placed her down and broke away from their kiss so that he could tear the last few items of clothing from her and then from himself and he joined her on the bed. They began to kiss and Matthew pushed her hands above her head and held them down with one of his own. He felt her back arching as he pushed himself deep inside her and as the two made love with the passion of two young lovers enjoying themselves for the first time, he slid his free hand down, off the side of the bed and grabbed a hold of his brothers' cold dead hand.