TW: self harm and suicide attempt
Brittany pov
B: come on babe, let's go to class.
L: ok.
He looked so angry, but there was nothing he could do. I felt bad, but I couldn't let him leave me. I loved him and I know he loves me, but somethings wrong.
Luke pov
God I'm so angry but there's nothing I can do. I saw her smile falter, she knew what she was doing was messed up, but then she went back to her normal twisted smirk. Everything was wrong.
A: hey! Um... hi Brittany
L: hey....
B: come on babe! We're gonna be late for science!
She pulls me to our next class. Alex looks so hurt. Because of me. I hate this.
A: luke?....
I hate this. I hate this. I hate her. I hate me.
After class, I tell Brittany I need to use the bathroom and she literally stands outside the door waiting. So I can't call Alex and explain. Great.
Wait I can still text-
SleevesAreTheWorkOfTheDevil: alex?
TheAnxiousDrummerBoy: what?
SleevesAreTheWorkOfTheDevil: listen, what you saw today wasn't real
TheAnxiousDrummerBoy: I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone
SleevesAreTheWorkOfTheDevil: what? Why?
TheAnxiousDrummerBoy: stop texting me luke.
What? What do I do now? What else could I do? So I go over to my bag and pull out a pair of scissors.
It burns like hell, but its relieving- i can control the pain, and I do. I drag the dull blade across my calve as steadily as possible. Its a lot of blood, but I'm used to it by now. Besides, no one questions long pants every day. So I cut. I cut till I can't anymore. Then I cry. I hate crying. I hate myself for crying. Like a wuss. I'm not even going through anything that serious. Just a little blackmail. Its not a big deal. People have it worse than me. Alex has it worse than me. I'm just dramatic. I'm a faker. Cutting for attention or something. I'm the worst
Brittany: baby? Are you in there? Mrs smith says you have a detention for skipping her class.
Right. school. School comes before life. Can't miss class!
I clean myself up and walk with Brittany to her next class. Then I go to advisory- alex!
I practically run there, and sit right beside him.
A: I told you to leave me alone.
L: you told me to stop messaging you. Hear me out... please?
A: no! You're a cheater. You always have been. Its fine. I just don't get why you couldn't have waited. You know whats been going on at my house, and you just had to twist the knife. Thanks.
L: alex....
He gets up and walks away. I'm so stupid. He's right. I'm a worthless cheater.
Bit of a time skip
When the school bell rang, I didn't even try to walk home with my usual group. So when Reggie ran over to me, I got exited. So excited didn't see that punch coming. I fell to the floor, pretty much out of shock. Reggie never hit anyone- i was the short-tempered one! Reggie would normally just comfort whoever got hurt, while I hunt down who hurt them.
L: reg-
R: don't try me. Why'd you do that to alex?!?!?
L: I didnt-
R: no! Shut up! He's saying he's going to hurt himself luke! He was crying all day, and now he says when he gets home he'll kill himself!
He kicks me in the face. He's never been this violent. He's crying. Everything hurts. Where the hell is Brittany and her fake friends now? I CAN fight back, but why should i? I hurt alex- so much that he's going to hurt himself. Besides hitting Reggie would just make me feel worse
So I sat there. Crying and bleeding, as my best friend beat the ever loving crap out of me.
L: reg- please let me explain.
R: what?!? What could you possibly make this better.
L: she- she has a picture. Of me and alex. She said she would show the whole school. Expose alex. Hes not ready he-
R: and thats why there a picture of you and Brittany making out under the bleachers?
L: no. No! SHE kissed ME. She said she wanted me to explain why I broke up with her- that I owed her. It made sense, so I met up with her. Then she kissed me and her friend got a pic. I shouldn't have met up with her, but I didn't know what she was capable of.
I look at the blood pouring from my nose
L: honestly I didn't know what you were capable of either. You messed me up.
R: yeah... I'm sorry
L: wait you believe me?! Oh thank god reg-
R: we gotta get you cleaned up and make sure alex is- ok.
L: yeah- yeah let's go.
He helps me up, and the small crowd that had gathered left.
There goes the only part of my reputation I LIKED. Now people knew I could be beaten up, life was about to get a lot harder for me. Damn.
Alex pov
I mentioned to Reggie my plans for the evening, and told him I would miss him, and he ran at luke and punched him. Luke fell to the floor. It was scary to see Reggie so angry. This was the norm for Luke, but never reggie. I stood in horror as he beats the crap out of my boy- Luke. I hate to admit it, but I still love him. it won't matter after tonight though. it'll be fine. it'll all be fine once I'm gone. I know. I'm lazy, I'm weak, but maybe people were unto something. I guess I'll find out. I probably won't do it, but its nice to think about it. ending the pain. I probably won't do it though.
im so sorry! I proof read it, and I got sad. why did I write this? I don't know. I was just writing whatever came out of me, putting my maladaptive daydream on record and listening to Eminem, and this came out. I'm sorry, and I'm currently trying to save them both, but apparently this is what is in my head when I'm not paying attention. I'm deeply f*cked. hopefully it was just the Eminem influencing my subconscious. ngl I'm low-key terrified that this came out of me.
YOU ARE READING
I'm happy for you. (julie and the phantoms) (sunset curve)
FanfictionTW: homophobic slurs, abuse, mentions of panic attacks/anxiety basically what I assume happened before the events of julie and the phantoms. (alex+luke) just a very gay story about what I think their lives were like before they died. if you haven't...
