𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍

❃ fuck you

"Why are you such a slut?" he fumed as he took a shot, slamming his cup so hard onto the wooden boards a small crack appeared in the glass, dribbles of alcohol leaking out onto the floor.

Silence took over the group once again.

"I'm gonna head to bed," I stood, giving Daph and Pansy a small nod before turning to walk out the door, Draco's eyes following me out.

The shower stung my skin like blistering heat waves, turning the temperature to the max in an attempt to wash Draco's icy stare off of my body. Silent hot tears began to mix with the steaming water, leaving my skin red as I wrapped myself in a plush green towel.

"I'm back," Daphne called from the door, the bed creaking as she sat down. "After your little stunt with Malfoy we all sort of packed up and left, he kind of went off," she sighed.

"How do you mean?"

"Let's just say he's angry with you,"

"He's always angry at me, my question is for which part?" I brushed out my tangled hair, drying it with a quick swish of the wand.

"Well, he's mad you called him a manwhore, but he's probably butthurt you didn't kiss him," she exclaimed.

"What'd he want me to do, kiss him right there in front of everyone? No way," I exited the bathroom, sliding pajamas over my body.

"So you would kiss him if it weren't in front of people?" she smirked.

"What- no, I never said that," I stammered, the same stinging feeling returning to my cheeks.

"Remember when you liked him in third year? And he didn't like you back? And you'd like, cry over it all the time. And then you were all like, 'oh, I'm over it', but now he likes you this year and things are gonna be complicated because you're in denial-"

"Slow down, Daph. He hates me, and he's an asshole. Nothing I do is gonna change that. I can't just force him to like me. If he doesn't, he doesn't. It's not like I get a say," I snuggled under the covers, engulfing the scent of the fresh linen sheets.

"So you like him," she turned off the bedroom chandelier, soft beams of moonlight the only source of illumination.

"Fuck- I never said that," I turned over, rubbing my temples. "I'm too fucking tired for this," I mumbled.

"Fine sleepyhead, don't think I won't continue to harass you about him in the morning."

The rest of our night was silent as I attempted to get some shuteye, but couldn't. I found myself trudging down to the common room at two in the morning, staring into the crackling fireplace on the couch, allowing it's gentle warmth to heat my body.

"I don't like you talking to me like that," a voice called from the top of the stairs, making me jump.

"Christ Malfoy, you scared the living shit out of me," I placed a hand over my chest, turning back to the fire.

"Did you hear me?"

"I did, actually," I answered, not meeting his eyes as he sat down next to me.

"You've been a bit of a bitch to me lately, you know that?" he scoffed, running a hand through his silvery hair, illuminated with highlights of green from the flames.

"Me? I'm the bitchy one? How lovely," I shook my head with an appalled smile, in shock he was this thick headed.

"First you don't shut up on the train, next you question me at dinner, then you don't kiss me, then you call me a manwhore, it's been less than 24 hours Cliffdane," quickly he towered over me, his hand slithering around my neck tightly as he pressed me against the backrest of the sofa.

My chest began to tighten, butterflies filling my stomach, rising into my throat. I pushed them down.

"I don't have to kiss you, you realize that right?" I snapped at him, his grip around my neck tightening.

"But you want to," he smirked, looking me up and down, his eyes landing on my chest, barely covered by my white satin pajama top.

"You can't tell me what I want, Malfoy," I whispered, trying to withhold whatever force inside me that was telling me to go for it.

He's using you, May. Malfoy doesn't love. He isn't capable of such a thing; let alone with you.

"Tell me you don't want me," his fingertips lightly stroked my thigh, trailing higher and further inwards.

"I- I don't-"

he gently wrapped his hands around my waist, effortlessly lifting me and laying me down on the couch, his face mere inches away from mine. All I could do was stare up at him, my chest rising and falling in swift motions.

"Ever since we got here, since I saw you on the train, something inside me just- fuck. You keep fucking tempting me," he seethed.

"How am I the one doing the tempting?" I sneered, the exasperation in my voice evident.

"The way you move when you walk," his hands traced my hips, "Those plump lips," one finger lifted my chin, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip. "Tell me to stop, Cliffdane," he breathed, his hand caressing my thigh, "tell me to stop."

I was absolutely speechless.

My lips parted as his hand began to move in slow circles over my pajama shorts, easing the tension that had been pooling between my thighs subconsciously.

"Draco," my back arched at his touch, my chest pressing up against his. I didn't want him to stop.

But a flip switched in my brain.

"Malfoy we can't do this," I lightly pushed his chest, but he didn't move. "Stop," I repeated myself.

"Why not?" he smirked, still on top of me.

"Draco stop," I successfully shoved him off of me, standing up as I left him a confused mess on the couch.

"Fuck- I'm sorry Cliffdane, forgive me," he threw his head in his hands.

"Look, I don't know what game you're playing at or who bet money, but I don't want any part of it. I only exist to you when you need something. I miss the time when I actually meant something to you. I'm not gonna be another quick fuck," I stared down at him.

"I want you to mean something to me again. We were so close when we were kids, look how far we've grown apart," his eyes were almost heartsick.

"Yeah, who's fault is that? I'm done trying. If you want me in your life, prove it. Until you decide to give me what I fucking deserve, I'm not doing this with you," I laughed him off, "you know what says a lot? You didn't even try to kiss me, you just went right for the- the, fuck you," angry tears began to stream down my face,

"Cliffdane wait-"

"See? You can't even use my first name and you're asking me to just act as if everything's fucking normal with you, just leave me alone," I stormed away, back up the stairwell and into my dorm room, holding back the urge to slam my door shut. Poor Daph didn't deserve me to wake her from her sleep that I so desperately needed.

I returned to my restlessness, pulling the covers tightly over my body, the pleasure of Draco's hands roaming my body still engraved in my mind, pressing my thighs together under my blankets, trying to squeeze away the feeling that sat between my legs.

Overall, I told myself that I'd made the right decision.

Because, I think if I'd kissed him, I wouldn't be able to stop.

❃

𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓 𝒗𝒐𝒕𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒅𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒚 <3

~ 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝, 𝚒𝚕𝚢