Daisies

-5-

He knew he should be happy but something stopped him and he felt awful for feeling that way.

Hell, he had been so stupid.

Then and now.

Even Hyunwoo had noticed something was off, despite not being close to Junho. That fact alone made him want to bang his head against the door.

"Cha Junho-ssi is your friend, isn't he?"

Hangyul nodded, head tilting up to peek at his friends with curious eyes.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

He turned to look at Junho, feeling worried once he had seen Hyunwoo's face.

The younger only continued to study the brunette, who was sitting in a corner of the library and reading a few meters away from them. Wrapping an arm around Junseo's waist, he looked back at Hangyul with a frown.

"I don't think he's feeling well. You should keep an eye on him, hyung."

That made him frown, too. Junho's cold wasn't that bad, right?

The memory made him grit his teeth.

He should've done something back then, too.

But he didn't.

Yes, he didn't do anything useful. Anything helpful.

Still, even after being released from the hospital, Junho looked happier than ever.

It has been a few weeks and Junho is getting better but somehow it feels like getting to know a whole new person.

There was no doubt it still was Junho but something was different.

Something was missing, to be exact.

Junho on the other hand, seemed to be perfectly fine without it. He was even more comfortable around them than he had ever been during the entire time they had been friends.

It hurt but he was no fool. He knew it was because of the unrequited love, the pain, that Junho couldn't be himself in front of them.

It was messed up, he knew. And to believe that he once also thought they knew everything about the younger.

Oh, how wrong he had been.

Guilt and pity and self hate and then guilt again.

He hated them. Hated them because they constantly attacked him. He was just unable to feel anything else.

So he put on a mask and smiled, locking all of those hideous feelings away. But not for Seungyoun, of course.

His love didn't need to try. They know each other well enough to know when one lie for the other.

He couldn't lie to Seungyoun, either.

All they could do was to hang onto each other and pray they'd be okay. It still hurt to see Junho everyday but maybe, just if he dared to give it a chance, he'd be able to forgive himself.

"What are you apologizing for? I don't really remember who you are but if you did do anything then I'm sure it wasn't so bad, right? You all look like really kind people. I'm sorry I can't recall you..."

Those were the words Junho had uttered after they barged into his room at the hospital, only to realize the ones he has forgot, the ones he had loved, was them.

He can't forgive himself. Not when things were like this.

Hangyul didn't know what to do.

None of them seemed to have an answer to that, to be honest.