Daisies

-4-

Why couldn't it be him? Why did it have to be the boy who loves to watch movies and mimic goblin language and laugh as he fooled around with his fries in the middle of the night and even cried when a stray cat he had been feeding died?

These last weeks felt unreal. Junho was spending time with them more and more but it always felt like they were slowly sliding apart.l instead. And when he watched the brunette with his new friends, it felt like his heart was slowly cut in half.

Junho was right there in front of him and he still missed the younger like he has left for a journey and never came back.

It felt downright miserable. Every smile and laugh coming from Junho made his heart warm, only for him to realize that he couldn't feel this way. Not when he had been the cause of Junho's pain.

And when Junho started talking more with other students, he would feel his blood boil if they so came too close and he always kept the brunette close to him when they were together. It was utter possession, like a poised knife he held against his throat.

Isn't it crazy?

How all his feelings began to descend from darkness when it was too late already?

Seungwoo hated himself because of that.

It was not even enough with him blaming himself for everything. He had been so terrified the night Yohan called him, his boyfriend sounded on the verge of a panic attack.

Ever since then, their relationship hadn't been the same. For the longest time now, he felt like it was slowly coming to an end. Breaking up with Yohan....he couldn't imagine that.

The raven knew for sure that he wouldn't survive it. He needed Yohan in his life, now more than ever.

He needed the comfort only his boyfriend could give, needed to hear Yohan laugh and cry, needed him so much it hurt.

Yohan noticed it too.

The sudden tension between them, the dullness and self blame falling heavy on their shoulders. Just a mere look at Junho would make him feel like he had to carry the weight of the world.

It hurts. It hurts, hurts, hurts.

Yet he only stood by, watching as the brunette broke his own heart piece by piece.

Eventually, he could no longer ignore how he felt, how Yohan felt, how all of them felt.

So they sat down and talked to each other, Seungwoo holding his boyfriend's hand tightly, as if he was afraid the younger would disappear.

It was the longest hours of his life but now Yohan knew how much he loved him and he was reminded himself how much the other loved him. Seungwoo was relieved. He'd hold onto their relationship no matter what.

Yohan was his rock. His happiness in one person.

Without Yohan, he wouldn't be him anymore. Together they would drive away all these dark feelings, all that guilt and sadness. Maybe...just maybe...things would be alright.

He dared to believe, even if it was a small shimmer of hope.

"Yah, Seungwoo hyung!" The raven looked up hastily and forced a smile.

"Hm? What is it?" Shit, he must've dozed off again. Daehyeon's blank stare proved him right as the younger frowned.

"Is everything really okay? I mean with Junho-ah and....are you alright?" Junseo looked at him, seemingly finding it hard to say the right words. Or at least, they all tried to ignore the fact that Junho suddenly collapsed one day and had to go to the hospital.