Oh.
Mah.
Gawd.
Asuma’s and Kurenai’s hot son… is actually a girl.
.__ .
It’s true (unfortunately). I checked.
…
Anyway—that’s not the subject of my rant; it was just something I needed to point out just in case any of you didn’t know. Shoot me now if I ruined your day. xD
~~**~~**
So. Let’s talk about irritating stuff, like the misusage of tragic pasts in Naruto fanfiction, shall we? Because those are annoying as fuk. ←May this purposely misspelled curse word foreshadow some incoming correctly-spelled, light cursing.
Dead parents.
WHY… I say, why are the parents always dead? What is so wrong on keeping both the people who gave you life ALIVE? Oh-oh, but nothing is worse when the author adds this lovely detail: “they died of an unknown cause.”
（；¬＿¬)
(*￣m￣)
Sigh. THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT MORE INTRIGUING GAWD-DAMMIT-GEEZUS-CHRIST-DESU! (´･益･｀*)
Or how about this one: When one or both parents are either slowly dying of a disease, or go missing out of nowhere.
Dear author-chan-kun-BAKA: you want an idea? (No, you don’t get to the -sama honorific. Silly.)
Keep. The. Parents. Alive for once. Make that brain and creativity work harder to keep the parents involved in the OC’s life as a ninja (if used in Naruto AU), or in the modern world AU.
Especially if the OC is around the age of, um, BIRTH up until—oh, I don’t know—until OC is an adult, like in real life? Living parents would be a nice touch—or rather an interesting change in those fanfictions.
“But wait, Avanthe—might say you and interrupt my rant—“the idea of dead/dying/sickly parents does happen in real life!”
Duh~ Sure, sure—I says—but why is it such an overly-used tragedy in fanfiction? That’s what I don’t understand… It stopped being “sad” to me a long time ago. Actually, I used to like those tragic pasts waaaaay back when I first joined Quizilla and read good shit there. Yep, that’s where I started—don’t laugh (cause it shut down, get it?).
Instead of dead parents, why not use another way so the OC is socially (and awkwardly) isolated with one or both parents? For example: parents divorced or separated, maybe a step-parent stepped in between and made the OC’s life a living hell (that’s sounds like a tragedy). OR step-parent could make OC’s life better while, ironically, the OC’s mom/dad is the one making it difficult.
Ah… Now that is an interesting twist, in my opinion. Give the readers those plot twists and break the reader’s skull with an epic mind-blowing moment that will have them looking like:
(」゜ロ゜)」 “Oh SNAP! Why must you play me like that?”
But if the author still decides on making the OC’s parents die, then please make the cause of death known so the readers can relate to the emotion behind grief and loss. Don’t just friggin’ throw it out there for the sake of plot continuation and whatnot. LAWD.
OC abducted by Kabuto—the one who is apparently categorized as a pedobear, God knows why—and brings OC to Orochimaru’s hideout to become a mighty experiment.
Uh… Does the OC’s village have that shitty of security to not protect OC from being abducted? And do the parents (if they’re even alive) not care enough to be the first ones on searching for their child?
No? Well ok. Then shut it and just use the death of OC’s parents why don’t ya. Might as well, good grief… I don’t even care to know how Orochimaru’s experimenting works again, because we saw the results with Sasuke, The Little Shit Who Looks Like A Hobo When He’s Older With That Poncho Around His Shoulders—
Oh, my bad. That’s a different rant.
OC joined the Akatsuki. And the Akastuki is A-Okay with that.
Holy moly… How does that even happen? Why is the OC so dam-diddly special to be part of the Akatsuki? Unless there is an actual bitchin’ reason for that, then fine—so be it! But do not tell me because OC is a unicorn with demon powers—OH PLEASE DON’T!
I’m bored already. Let’s move on.
Lastly, OC is the last of her clan.
Eyetwitch.
Boo-fucking-hoo. WHY IS THAT THE LAST RESORT SO THE OC COULD AUTOMATICALLY BECOME SPECIAL??? That’s not going to make Sasuke fall in love with the OC more, you know… Or at least I hope it doesn’t. But then again Sasuke always has to fall in love with OC because AUTHOR and PLOT and FEELS, man!
Oh no… Brace yourselves… *Shudders*
A very, very OOC Sasuke is coming our way, yet the readers love it—LOVE IT, I say, LURVE IT.
Oh look at that, I’m bored again—and including Sasuke in this rant again, the poor fella.
.__ .?
~~**~~
And that is exactly why I do NOT read Naruto fanfics that are based off the anime/manga anymore. I think I’ll just stick to reading Modern AU! Naruto fanfics and move on. It’s so much easier not to cringe! :D
But remember this, fellow NarutoMagazine readers: this is simply my opinion, not a fact. :3
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Naruto Magazine: Issue #8
FanfictionThis is the first issue of 2015! I hope the rest o the year turns out better. I still hope everyone enjoys this issue even if it's a bit smaller! Gomen for any inconveniences minna!
