As I arose from my pile of crispy leaves and horse manure, my father greeted me. "Hey yer fat beast!" I smiled at him. "SHREK! BRING YOUR DAUGHTER HERE NOW!" My mother ordered. "Shut up yer big pile of sweetcorn." My father replied. I picked up my best clothes:
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I smiled and skipped over to breakfast, occasionally getting sucked in by the mud. I heard my father screaming at something, "Get out me swamp!" I sat at the table and started eating my Lemons on toast. It was disgusting and sickly, just how I like it. I put on my shoes and ran to the train station. It was two am when I started my journey, and I arrived at 10:55. I ran to the train and hopped on with not a minute to spare. I walked along when I saw a certain compartment. "OH MY HORSEY HORSE GOD!" I shouted after seeing Harry Potter. I squished into their compartment and started talking about my summer. After an hour, my friend dragged me out calling me curse words. "%$*&!^" When we got to Hogwarts, I hopped off and waited next to the brick wall. "Shouldn't you be in the sorting ceremony?" McGonagall asked. "Shouldn't you be retired?" I asked her. She ran off weeping, tripping on her heels. I started laughing like a hawk and fell onto my back.
I ran to my common room and started the fire. I started chewing on one of the chair legs until I bit one off. Now, whoever sat on it would be wobbling back and fourth. I did this to every chair and spat out all of the wood in my mouth. I threw the evidenced into the fire and ran away. I grabbed a can of fizzy soda and poured it onto the table and spread it around. Now the table was nice and sticky. It almost felt like home. I sprayed a can of farts around and smiled. I ran up to my dorm and threw my roommates stuff out. A few minutes later I heard everyone screaming. Just like home. My roommates came up and started shouting at me. "HISSS!" I went. They ran away screaming and crying, trying to find new dorms. All of a sudden, there was a knock at my window. "OOH OOH AHH AHH!" I screamed trying to sound like a monkey (Which I got perfectly, by the way.) I turned around and stopped shrieking. "ARTHUR WEASLEY! HEHEHE" I grabbed his ear and spread my wings. He was dangling from the sky while I was smiling. I dropped him in the forest and stepped on his stomach. "Whoops." I muttered. I grabbed some poisonous mushrooms and stuffed them up my nose. I grabbed some sticks and started chewing them. "Oi, luv," I said to Arthur. "What you big, fat, ugly, monkey, crazy, weird, dinosaur, chicken nugget?" He asked. I pushed him to the ground and pulled out my wand. "AVADA KADAVRA! I shouted. i giggled and started swimming in the water. What a wonderful night.
