Tokyo Ghoul Kaneki and Amon

Chapter 7

Kaneki knew he was being followed. He knew who was quickly approaching him. He could have easily escaped and fled from them but as much as this encounter would surely hurt, he could not make himself turn around to avoid it.

So instead he faced the direction of the incoming footsteps and came eye to eye to the girl who had come to mean so much to him in the past couple months he had worked at Anteiku.

He saw the conflict in Touka's eyes. He imagined he wouldn't know what to say to him in her place either. After all he had been taken, twice, and then after all she had done for him when he first turned into a ghoul and had even tried to rescue him, he was now about to walk away from her without as much as a goodbye.

So he decided to break the ice himself. "I spoke with the manager." He told her.

"Oh..?" She responded.

"He wanted me to come back."

"And are you?" He could see the hope in her eyes.

"No." There was no way around it. The only way to protect them was to walk away and keep an eye out from the shadows. And that was the only thing that mattered. "I don't think that by joining the manager I can get what I want."

"So what exactly do you want?" She asked him.

"I want to protect all of you. I don't want to lose anyone important to me."

"There is no reason we have to be protected by you.

"You pretend to care about other people but.. in the end it's all about you. You're just afraid of being alone aren't you?

"What you want is nothing more than self-satisfaction.. it's all so stupid."

He was left stunned for a second. "You think you know me better than I know myself?" He asked her.

"Yes I do. Because you're mistaken."

"Well that's okay." He said while rubbing his chin subconsciously. "As long as you're not left alone."

And before he knew it Touka was throwing punches his way. He easily caught some and reflected others.

"Don't mock me!" She yelled at him. "You can't decide all by yourself that I wouldn't be fine alone! Acting like some shitty tragic hero with that grim look. You can't even protect yourself! What makes you think you can protect others?!"

And her words stung. Because she was right. But that would not stop him from trying. But she continued while still trying to get her fists through his defence. "Trash like you, should stay out of Anteiku!"

He lost his composure as her words hit him. And her fist followed soon after. He got thrown back from it's force and she got on top of him to continue punching him while asking him 'why' over and over.

Eventually she croaked out "Why did you have to change?" as she climbed off of him and walked away.

He stayed on the ground as the impact of her hurts hit him. He never wanted to leave his friends, he never wanted to hurt them. And he realised that he had to get stronger. Like she had said he was no good if he couldn't even protect himself. He let himself get taken away from the people he loved not once but twice.

She was right about one more thing. He had changed. But he did not see any possible way for that to be undone. He had no way back to being the shy bookworm he once was.

He had never even felt her punches. After what Jason had done there was no way fists could hurt him. But it still hurt. Because not feeling the physical pain from them made him feel even worse. She had deserved to hurt him the way he had hurt her by letting himself get taken. By abandoning her.