Aftertaste (Sin #2)

XXIV.

He's going to make me come. I feel it. I'm trying to fight against it and my body tenses up every time I hear someone talk because I'm reminded we have an audience. But I can't help it. He's being so close I can smell only him and he's touching me in a way that drives me wild. And he knows it because he knows my body more than I do.

Damn him.

Alexander feels me clench around his fingers and he knows I'm on the verge of coming. I hear him starting to talk something about, "Yes! He got it, he got it ... go, go, go!" But I can't fully focus on what he's saying. His voice, though, sends me off the edge.

I'm biting down on my lip hard when I start to feel the waves. I can't move. I can't make a sound. I can only dig my nails into his chest so hard it's starting to hurt. I'm squeezing my eyes shut, terribly wanting to move my hips, but Alexander is keeping me tightly in place with his arm, his fingers moving just a little faster now until the wave passes and my whole body relaxes again.

My heart is wanting to jump out of my chest.

I don't dare open my eyes. He pushes his fingers in and out of me for just a few more strokes, but I grip his arm and silently stop him. He removes his hand from my pants and I can finally breathe calmly now.

I feel his lips against my ear again. "I love you."

A small smile appears on my lips and I snuggle closer to him. Sleep consumes me again.

˙˙˙

When my eyes open, it's quiet and dark. I'm alone on the couch and I sit up quickly, looking around me, feeling a little disoriented at first. How long have I slept for?

Everyone is gone already and the table is cleaned, the TV turned off.

I hear whistling in the kitchen and I slowly stand up, walking towards it. Alexander is making himself dinner, something that looks awfully healthy and unappetizing. I frown, running my fingers through my hair. I feel like a mess.

"Hi, sleepyhead," Alexander greets me when he sees me standing in the kitchen, grinning at me.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Around 7," he says casually.

My eyes widen. "What?" I ask quietly. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?!" I groan to myself. How am I going to sleep at night, now?

Alexander just shrugs, completely unbothered. "It seemed to me like you needed some rest."

I put my hand on my forehead, letting out a deep sigh. "This is terrible," I mutter to myself. I get myself a glass of water, looking at the toast with tuna Alexander made for himself. It has a lot of lettuce and tomatoes on it. I scrunch my nose up. I'm hungry, but I'll leave that to him.

"Want some?" he asks me as if he's reading my thoughts.

I shake my head. "No, thanks."

He shrugs, digging into it. I notice his hair is slightly wet, meaning he showered. "Are you planning on going somewhere?"

"No, why?" he asks with his mouth full.

"You showered."

"Came back from the gym." Oh. He told me once that he's not a fan of public showers and he rather waits until he comes home to shower instead of doing it there.

His body definitely got more muscular since he started going to the gym more regularly. He's wearing a fitted shirt that hugs every single muscle he owns and my eyes can't seem to move away.

"You checkin' me out, Little one?"

My eyes snap up to his. I just shrug. "Just admiring what's in front of me." I turn around and get the milk and cocoa to make myself the sweet drink that I would kill for.

I take the ice cream out of the refrigerator and sit down across Alexander when my milk is hot enough. I mix the cocoa in it and Alexander raises his eyebrows at my food choice and combination, but doesn't say anything.

"Are you coming to the race on Friday?" Alexander asks.

"Are you taking Lena if I don't?" I ask, not looking at him. I don't even realise what I said until I pop the lid of the ice cream open and realise he's staring at me.

"No, I'm not taking Lena," he says slowly.

"Maybe I will. Do you still have drugs in here somewhere?"

He sharply inhales. He's probably surprised I said this so lightly and so out of blue. "Yes," he squeezes out uncomfortably.

I lick the ice cream off the lid. "Can you get rid of them? What if the police come here?" What if he went to jail? I put the lid down on the table, the uneasy feeling setting inside of me. I would've never thought we'd ever have this kind of conversation, but here we are.

"I'll throw the bag away," he mutters.

It looks like he's sulking. I know he didn't tell me anything about it because I wouldn't approve of his choice. How could I? I can barely manage that he's smoking, but I don't nag him about that. Drugs are something entirely different. For once, they're far more dangerous. And secondly, they're illegal.

I sit back in the chair, the spoon hanging from my mouth. I take it out so I can speak, pointing it at him. "Don't just do it because I said so. Why do you feel the need to take them? I just want to understand."

Alexander pushes his empty plate away, leaning back, too. "It was just fun, Gabby. It's not like I take them daily."

I look away because this conversation frustrates me. Drugs are hard no for me. It's a trigger and I don't want to be around people who have any kind of contact with them. "Yeah, well. I don't want them here," I mutter.

He just sighs.

I let out a sudden yawn and Alexander looks at me weirdly. "Are you seriously still tired?"

I blink a few times to clear my view again. "Yeah. I don't know what's up with me." I scrunch my nose.

His eyes flicker down at my ice-cream and cocoa. "PMSing?" he guesses.

I chuckle, shaking my head, but then sober up quickly and sit up on the chair. "Oh. Oh, no," I let out quietly, panicking. I put my hand on the table, just looking at Alexander with wide eyes while I calculate in my head.

"What?" he asks, scrunching his eyebrows together.

"No, no ..." I'm shaking my head as I stand from the table and run to my phone where I open the calendar. I track my period every month and the last entry was 7 weeks ago. 7 weeks ago. Alexander came after me and I look at him, feeling like I'm going to be sick. "I didn't get my period last month."

His eyes widen and he pales. "What? What does that mean?" His voice gets higher.

I run my hand through my hand nervously, letting out a panicky chuckle. "I'm sure it's nothing. I'm protected, okay? We're safe. Right?" My hand is shaking and I bite down onto my lower lip. "Maybe we should go get a test."

His eyes widen even further and his whole body freezes.

"Just to be sure," I say faintly, trying to sound reassuring, but my heart is beating so wildly in my chest that it's becoming painful.

God, no. This can not happen. 

*

Wellllllllll, sorry for the cliffhanger (no I'm not)