Down For The Count

I'm Not Okay

"I know...but...I'll get better." I promised. It was an empty promise, one that I wasn't sure if I could fulfill, but empty promises mean reassurance. Empty promises mean no doctor visits.

Lin sighed, rubbing his temples a little. He looked over at me after some time.

"How do you feel? Don't think about the doctors or anything. How do you really feel? Honestly."

How do I really feel?

Honestly?

"I feel...awful. All the time." My voice came out shaky. "I can't get out of bed. My legs hurt, my body hurts, and oh my god my stomach."

Lin frowned a bit at that. Granted I probably shouldn't have told him all of that. But he wanted honesty. That's how I really feel, honestly. And I do want help.

I just want there to be another route besides the doctor.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach, the searing pain intensifying, Lin picking up on my pain as he reached over to rub my back.

"I didn't mean for it to get this bad." I whispered, shutting my eyes tightly.

But before either of us could say anything, the bathroom door opened, and we both looked up to see Alysha standing there, kind of like Hope did last time I was in the bathroom getting sick.

"Can you give us a minute?" Lin asked.

Alysha looked extremely confused. "This is...the woman's restroom-"

"Yes, and my child is having a crisis. Shoo, please." Lin waved his hand.

"But I have to pee-"

"The midst of a crisis, Alysha. There's a bathroom downstairs."

"But-"

"This bathroom is off limits, temporarily closed. Your card has been declined, sorry." Lin shrugged. Alysha shot Lin a look, and he looked very confused. "What? Your card declined, that's not my fault."

Alysha sighed. "I guess I'll go downstairs, then. You should hurry up in here, they're looking for you."

"I'll be out in a little bit." Lin said to her. Alysha nodded, but she didn't make a move to leave. She just kind of stood there looking over at me, looking a little concerned.

"Can I ask what's going on?"

Lin hesitated a little bit, obviously not wanting to go too in depth. "Just...some, uh...teenage problems."

But Alysha clearly took teenage problems as those teenage problems.

Lin couldn't have been a little more specific?

"Ohhhh, I get it. Well then she doesn't want to be talking to her dad about this stuff." Alysha said as she walked over, kneeling down beside me. "The changes that your body's about to go through are totally normal. Tampons are kind of awful at first, but once you get the hang of them-"

"No, no! Not...not those teenage problems." I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up a little bit.

Alysha looked a little bit confused before her face relaxed. "Oh, the other ones. Getting certain urges towards boys, and even girls if you swing that way, can feel awkward but-"