21. A small button

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Thomas accompanied me to my room and asked if he should stay with me, which I denied. I wanted to be alone now and be able to mourn in peace. And above all, I had to prepare myself somehow for having to watch Newt being taken to the memorial chamber tomorrow. And then there was only hope that he too could remember a little.
I didn't sleep much and was very restless, was woken by my alarm clock as usual and was immediately back in the painful reality.
After getting ready for the day and looking at my swollen eyes in the mirror, I went to the lab alone, because I didn't want to listen to the other boys' comments or the looks of everyone else present.
On a corridor between two lifts I met Rachel and Aris, whom I had not seen for a long time.
"Anna! Oh God, what do you look like? Come here!" Rachel took me in her arms and I really had to pull myself together so that I didn't burst into tears again immediately.
Aris, with whom I had never really talked much, looked at me pitifully and didn't seem to know what to say.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as Rachel let go of me.
"Oh, Aris is changing jobs and I've been given some time off to accompany him."
"How nice, where are you now?" I asked and tried to sound as interested as possible, which I didn't make very successful, I thought.
"There is this new programme, I am supposed to control something for the maze your friends are in. I'm quite curious."
Everything fell out of my face. I didn't notice that my mouth was open until Rachel started waving her hand in my face.
"Anna? Hey, are you okay?"
I shook my head to clear my mind.
Aris will control Grievers.
"Yeah, sure, I... Oh, man, I'm still a little shaken up about Newt being gone, I... It was nice to meet you. See you, Rachel." I left them stunned and ran for the next lift.
Totally out of breath I arrived at the lab and dropped onto my chair. Thomas had got up when I fell in and was now looking at me in horror, while Teresa too was watching me with interest from her seat.
"What happened?," he asked, came towards me and crouched down in front of me.
"The Grievers, they let test persons steer them. Aris, Rachel's friend... He should steer them."
Thomas looked at me with big eyes. Teresa didn't seem very surprised.
"I told you they would do this. Now the only question is how often a Griever will turn up. Our George hasn't come across anyone yet."
I looked at her with indignation and Thomas also seemed horrified by her words.
"Teresa they... they shall kill the boys."
"No, that's not quite right. They shall sting them first. And if they get stung and survive it, they can remember things from their old lives. It just wouldn't be good if someone who isn't immune got stung. They wouldn't have the best chance of surviving."
Now I was finally speechless.
Is that supposed to be a hint?
"What is wrong with you sometimes, Teresa?" Thomas asked her now. But he got no answer, she simply put her headset back on and looked at the screen.
"Now it's getting exciting. He'll be in the memory chamber any moment now."
I looked over me and Thomas followed my gaze, not moving an inch away from me, as if to make sure I didn't do anything rash.
Newt was being prepared for the memory chamber and I could see that he was afraid. The doctors who prepared him didn't talk to him and I was sure that it only made it worse, not knowing what comes next.
When he was finished, they took him into the chamber and filled it with water. He hadn't even fought back the whole time, but now that was changing. The water seemed to cause him pain when he threatened to drown, and I pulled a face when I saw it.
"Teresa, turn that off. You can watch it on your screen." Thomas had got up and taken the headset off her head. "Anna doesn't need to see this, please."
She nodded silently, pressed a button and the screen above us went black. I breathed a sigh of relief and it felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
It took me a few minutes, but then I turned back to the boys at the glade who had just finished breakfast. Gally washed the dishes while Fry Pan started lunch.
At some point Gally started to go to the fields to help. Everything was quiet and while I watched him I noticed how slowly I was coming down again.
I could do nothing but do my job and hope that the coming month would pass quickly. I knew Newt was suffering right now, but I had to pull myself together and hope that he wouldn't remember the pain when he woke up in the box the next morning.
Silently we did our work and watched life at the glade as Teresa took off her headset and started talking just before lunch, which I would go to first and alone.
"It is even worse with him than with Gally. There's something he just doesn't want to forget. Or much more someone. At least until now. They're not done with him yet. He's coming back into the chamber this afternoon and then again just before he's sent up." As she was saying this, she looked directly at me.
I swallowed. Should he really be able to remember me in any way? Or at least the feeling that he had had for me, like Gally? I didn't dare to believe it, now that all this was so real.
So with this information I went to lunch alone and was the first to arrive at our regulars' table. Only when I was almost finished did the others come one by one. Silently they sat down next to me, with Ben and Zart giving me a short hug before they sat down. It was as if they didn't want to say the wrong thing and at the same time show their sympathy. Only Heath said: "I'm really sorry for everything you're going through right now. We're here for you if you need anyone," when he patted me on the shoulder. I smiled at him, then ate up quickly and got up.
"Thanks for your sympathy, guys. I have to get back to work now." With that I took my tray away and smiled at them once more before leaving the hall to relieve Thomas and Teresa.
Alone in the room I just had to check on Newt. I sat down on Teresa's chair and looked for the right screen.
And there he was, unconscious and completely soaked, lying on a couch in a white room. I swallowed hard. This sight broke my heart and even worse was to know that we were only a few walls apart and yet I couldn't get to him.
Suddenly I saw a small button that was apparently - according to its name - for communicating with the room it was in. I froze. Should I?
I knew that I was completely alone here, because everyone else was at lunch, I had seen on my way back how they had left their laboratories. And Teresa had also told me once that we were the only ones just when we had lunch first.
So I summoned up all my courage and pressed the little button, put on her headset and said carefully: "Newt?"
No reaction.
Once again. "Newt?" A little louder this time.
He moved!
One last time. "Newt?"
Now he opened his eyes and sat up a bit. Confused, he looked around and looked quite frightened.
"Newt! Do you know who this is?"
"Anna?" So quiet I almost couldn't hear.
"Yeah! Yeah, that's right, Newt! It's me." I could feel hot tears streaming down my face.
"What happened? I can remember almost nothing. Where are you? Where am I?"
"Listen, you have to pretend that I didn't talk to you, okay? I'm here, in the lab, and I can see you, but I can't get to you. No matter what happens, you have to remember me. We'll meet again, Newt. I promise."
I could hear noises in the corridor.
"They're coming! Pretend to be asleep! And remember, my name is Anna. I love you..."
"And I love you." I saw him smile weakly as he closed his eyes. A tear ran down his cheek.
I tore Teresa's headset from my head and quickly turned away from the screen where they would definitely take him back to the memory chamber. I sobbed quietly and then cried silently into my hands, which I held protectively in front of my face.
So Thomas and Teresa found me a few minutes later and decided that I was better off in my room today than here in the office. So Thomas accompanied me along the corridors when a nervous Rachel came towards us.
"Anna! There you are!" She stopped panting in front of us. "Come on, let's go find your friend! It's time!"
I looked at her at first, uncomprehendingly, but when she pushed out "The Asian" I realised what was happening.

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