When I See You

When I See You - Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I wish I could say that the morning was different. I wish I woke up with Parker's arms wrapped around me, and we talked about what had happened the night before. My words. The kiss.  But when I woke up, he was gone.

   "He tried to sneak out, but you know me, light sleeper," Maddie told me, as I walked through to the front of the trailer. "He said to tell you it was a family thing, he had to go."

   My heart sank. "When?"

   Maddie looked at her watch. "Like two hours ago."

   It was only 9A.M. now. I spun around and went back to the bunk to find my phone.

   WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME? I texted Parker right away.

   He didn't reply. I assumed he was driving. I felt empty, left behind. I wanted to be with him, beside him in his car. Had I scared him off, by telling him what I did?

   Reception wasn't great at the trailer, but I kept calling and texting until my phone rang, finally. I was sitting outside, less than an hour later. It was sort of a cloudy day, like my mood.

  "Mom?" I answered, my voice shaky.

   "Hi, Bec. I've been trying you for awhile," she said right away.

   "What's wrong?" I wanted to know.

   "You're not with Parker?" she asked.

   "No, he... left. Early. I was still asleep."

   "It's Aidan."

   "Mom."

   "They called the ambulance. He wasn't breathing -"

   "No," I spat out, my hand shaking.

   "He was okay, when they left for the hospital. I haven't heard anything... but I thought you'd be coming back early with Parker," she went on.

   "Oh god. Parker's driving home by himself."

   "Don't worry, Bec. I'll call as soon as I hear anything," she told me.

   "Don't worry?" I yelled at her, then took a deep breath. "I can't believe he left without me."

   "Bec... he probably just wasn't thinking of anything except getting home to Aidan."

   I sighed. She was right. "Yeah."

   "You okay, otherwise? How was yesterday?" she asked.

   "Yeah, fine, good." My head was pounding. "I'll have to squeeze into the back of Adam's car..."

   "Let me know when you're on the road?" she finished, so I agreed.

   I tried to enjoy being there, at the trailer, for the rest of the day, but I couldn't. I couldn't relax, or think straight, as the hours passed. Adam packed up his car - a tight fit - after we ate marshmallows for lunch. Maddie - who was almost never quiet - didn't know what to say to me. Parker still hadn't called when I squeezed myself into the back seat with the camping gear. He hadn't called when we stopped half way to stretch our legs.

  PARKER, PLEASE CALL ME, I texted again. 

  We were only twenty minutes from home - around dinner time - when my phone rang. I was scared, my hand shaking again, as I answered.

  "Parker."

  "Hey... I'm sorry..." His voice was too quiet.

  I had been frustrated with him all day. For leaving. For not calling back. I didn't understand why he didn't wake me up that morning. But I'd realized, eventually, that it wasn't about me.

   "No, it's fine. How's Aidan?" I asked.

   I heard him take in a long breath. "He's okay, right now. I'm finally getting a chance to go for a walk, get some air... it's been a long day."

   It was almost 6P.M. now. Parker had left the trailer at 7, drove for three hours and then spent the following eight hours at the hospital with his sick brother. He was probably exhausted.

  "I'm sorry, that you weren't there. That you had to drive back alone-"

   "Becca, don't. It was so early. I wanted to let you sleep. And he's okay. Aidan's okay," Parker interrupted.

   "Okay," I repeated.

   "My mom's going to stay with him tonight. He'll be here for a few days, at least." He paused. "I'll be going home, in a bit."

   "Oh, I'll be home in ten minutes," I told him, anxious.

   "Oh. I didn't know you guys left the trailer."

   "Yeah, Adam has to work tomorrow..."

   "Oh, right. So..."

   "I'm glad Aidan is okay," I said.

   "Yeah. Thanks."

   I sucked in a breath. "Text me when you're home?"

   "Okay, yeah," he finished.

   Adam was turning onto my street in what felt like a moment later. I didn't want to talk about it at all, and I knew Maddie could tell that by my face .

  "Thanks for driving me back," I said to Adam as I crawled out of the back seat.

  "Well, we couldn't leave you there," he laughed.

   "Call you later?" Maddie asked me, before I turned to go up to the house.

   I nodded at her, dragging my bag behind me.

   I walked through the house, feeling off. It was as if I was in a daze. I hadn't called my mom, so now when she saw me enter the kitchen, she was surprised. 

   I just kept thinking about the night before, with Parker. I'd laid my head on his shoulder and told him we weren't just friends. I'd kissed him. I didn't regret it, but I hated this feeling of being in limbo. Would we talk about it? Would it even matter now?

   "Becca," my mom said loudly, snapping me out of it. "You didn't call."

  "Oh, yeah, sorry," I shrugged.

  "How was the drive?" she asked, moving in to hug me.

  "It was fine."

  "Did you talk to Parker?" she wanted to know, now pulling away to look at me.

   I swallowed hard. "Yes."

   "Oh, good. Their mother called me and said that Aidan is stable."

   "Yeah," I said, then heard noise from the backyard. "Who's here?"

   "Oh, Uncle James, Henry and -"

   She didn't have to finished her sentence, because I saw him, Connor Burke, in my back yard. My mom didn't know any of that drama. She didn't know that Conner liked me, and that he would try to come between me and Parker, in a heartbeat. She didn't know what was - or wasn't - going on with Parker and I, either. I had managed to keep everything from her.

   "I... I am going upstairs," I spat out, turning around.

   "Oh, just go say hello to your cousin?" my mom urged me, turning me back towards the yard. "He just got back from college, this week."

  I took in a breath and let it out slowly. I couldn't deal with him, or Connor,  right now,  but I walked towards the backyard anyway, to please my mom.