When I See You

When I See You - Chap 25

Chapter 25

It was so hard, pretending everything was just fine. I had to put on an act at school, and even at home. I had to be strong, for Parker. I had to act like my heart wasn't breaking every minute of every day.

   And then a week past, and then another, and the texts from Parker became less and less frequent. He would text one day, but then not answer for another whole day. Or he would call at night, barely talk, and then not answer his phone for a few days. I was not only missing him now, but I was worried. And on the edge of another break down. I really didn't know what to do.

   My parents knew I wasn't doing well, but they just supported me the best way they could. They asked if I needed to talk. They cooked meals and we ate together. And we continued on.

   It was mid October when I got the call from an unknown number. I was at Teah's house, laying on her floor. We had just painted each other's nails, and had been talking about Halloween costumes. I had needed the distraction. I hadn't made much effort to hang out with Maddie or Teah that week, so I was trying to be better. But then, the call.

   "Hello?" I answered, sitting up.

   "Hi, Becca. It's Mary, Parker's mom."

   My stomach dropped. "Oh. Hi."

   I hadn't talked to her since before they left. It had been close to two months. I felt awful that I hadn't even spoken to her. My mom had sent flowers and a card, after the funeral. But what was I supposed to say to her, now?

   "Becca... this is so hard for me to say. I just, I need to know if you and Parker are still... together."

   I swallowed hard. "Yeah. What's wrong?"

   "Parker has been, well, he's depressed. He lost his brother, and you, and his life, there... he's just not doing well. And he was working, but -"

   "He's not working anymore?" I asked, instantly upset that he hadn't told me.

   "He missed a few shifts and got fired." Her voice was quiet.

  "Mrs. Allen, I'm so sorry... about Aidan," I managed to say.

   "Oh, honey, yes, I know. It was very... hard, it still is. But I'm very worried about Parker. He has mentioned wanting to go back, to you. He's eighteen, I know he could live on his own... it's just..."

   "We talked about it, a couple weeks ago. But... I guess the last couple of weeks have been..." I didn't know what to say.

   "Becca, Parker hurt himself, a few days ago. I don't know if it was -"

   "What do you mean?" I asked quickly.

   "I found him, in his bedroom... his wrist was bleeding..." 

   "Oh, god."

   "Becca, I know this is a lot. You're just a kid -"

   "Oh my god," I said again. "He was trying to hurt himself?"

   "It's a lot," she said again. "I can get him help, here. But honestly, I think you are the help he needs. Just being happy again, with you."

   "Me?" I asked, feeling completely overwhelmed.

   "If it's too much, just say so. I don't want to put this all on you, in your senior year."

   "I love him, Mrs. Allen. I miss him every day, since he's been gone," I told her, without hesitating.

   "I had to beg him to leave with me, that morning that we left. I feel terrible, I want you to know. But I didn't want Parker to not be there, with Aidan passed away," she told me.

   I was crying now, just like that. "I'm so sorry."

   "I know. I don't want to lose Parker, too, but know he'll be happy and safe with you. And if anything happens, I can bring him back here and get him help," she went on.

   "I promise I will take care of him," I said quickly.

   Now she was crying, too. "I'll talk to him, we will make a plan. And I'll drive him back, okay?"

   My heart jumped and my breath caught in my chest. "Yes. Okay."

   "You agreed to what?" my mom asked me, wide eyed, when I told her about the call, a few days later.

   I'd been avoiding talking to her because I knew how the conversation would go.

  "I... I told Mrs. Allen that we would look out for Parker. She thinks he'll be happier here and he's been struggling -"

   "Becca, you were a mess for a long time. You're finally doing

better -"

   "I know. But I still love him and miss him. I want him to come back, Mom."

   She leaned onto the counter, her head in her hands for a minute. When she stood again and turned back towards me, she looked even more unsure. "How will be stay here? That house -"

  "They are still leasing it until January," I interrupted.

  "And then what? He'll need a job, and being on his own..." She was against this idea, I could tell.

   "He'll have me," I said boldly.

   My mom stared at me, really looking at me, and then nodded. She's stopped arguing and just hugged me. She held me for a long time and was crying when she finally stepped back again.

   "Becca, you are so... you're such an amazing girl. I want to protect you, shelter you... but I see now, you're growing up."

   I nodded, then hugged her again. "I love you, Mom."

   "Oh, I love you, honey. And your dad and I will support you and Parker, as much as we can. But you have to promise your school work is first, your college applications... it's important, right?"

   I nodded again. "Yes, of course."

   "Okay. Well, keep me updated, then?" She looked even a little shocked that she had agreed to this.

  "Yes," I said again. "Thank you."