The Devotion of Damien And Augustus

Unsent Letters of Haven to Augustus

July 14, 2020

Augustus,

Thank you for coming with me on my first day of my treatment. I was scared earlier because of injections and other terms of the doctor said. I didn't understand a thing but you were there to intake everything.

Now I was thinking, what if you didn't saw the papers? How Am I today? How will I understand the doctors were saying if it's just myself? Will I continue my treatment? Or I'll just run off and hide? I don't know. But at least you're here now.

Haven.

——

July 20, 2020

Augustus,

Before we went here, I asked you not to stay with me and turn over whatever coming in your hands. I convinced you and even threatened you that if you insist to stay here in New York, I will get mad and won't talk to you forever. So you just asked a week to stay with me and comply everything that I will be needing for the rest of the days that I will be staying here.

I told you last week that people here are snobs, and so they still are. Again, I am getting scared, man. I thought the last thing I will be scared of was battling of this cancer, but I was wrong. I didn't thought of getting scared because of being alone since I used to be one in the Philippines. But New York is different. You can tell that.

You were leaving tomorrow. I didn't know that saying goodbye to you would be one of the hardest. But! I won't shred a tear! I don't want you see me crying because I will be alone. Again.

But don't worry! I can do this! He gave me two feet so I can stand up on my own. I mean, it's just being alone. I can overcome it, just like how you always told me that I can overcome this cancer and I will be free again.

Safe flight, Augustus!

FaceTime

Absolutely.

Haven.

——

October 08, 2020

My appearance was slowly changing. How can I face you? I am starting to be ashamed. Everyday, things are getting harder. I don't want to tell you. That's why everytime you asked me, I always said that I am fine and things are getting better.

Well, the good news was, doctor told me that I am doing good on my treatment. But the thing is, I'm changing physically. Reasoned why I freaked out sometimes. It felt like I'm losing myself.

I'm having a big decision now. The doctor find out that I have no one beside me that's why they asked me if I want to stay on the hospital temporarily... or if I want, permanently. Doctor told me that I need someone who can assist me since hard days are coming.

I calculated the money I save for the past years if it will be enough if I will stay in the hospital, turns out that I am going to be poor for the next years. Haha. Nevertheless, I'm still thinking... moving is not easy as 123.

Haven.

——

December 24,2020