But who needs time? || pepsicola fanfic

Orange condoms?

Eggs.
Apple juice-
Oh my sweet turntables yes!
Hell fucking yes!
Pancakesss!

You cheerfully roll over and reach for john. Your fingers sprawl out and feel nothing but the warmth of where he had been.

"Joooohnnnn... John. Johnjohnjohn... GOD DAMNIT JOHN WHERE IS YOUR FACE?... John. Johnjohnjohn."
You hear slight footing on your creaky stairs. "John?" You stand up and walk towards the small crack of light at the door.

Walking through the doorway everything seemed still, even your heart had ceased moving. "...John.." you whisper under your breath. You turn the corner to shut you door and hear quiet giggling. "Hmmmm!~ I wonder where my buck tooth wonder has wandered of too..." You pull your shades down the brim of your nose and briefly skim the room. "I guess he's not-"
"BOO!"
Well. You screamed like a girl.
"EEEEEHHAHHAAAAAAAA!"
"Hahahahaha dave! You should've seen your face! Oh my god!" John giggled and held his stomach as he wiped a tear away. "Oh. Oh my god! That was golden!" John blurted out. "John. I fucking hate you." John's laughs neared its peak. "ahahahahHAHAHAHAH!"
You hear more thumps racing up the stairs to see Dirk out of breath at the top of the stairs. "What, happened?" He's asked with his brow raised.
"This ass happened." You say, poking John's cheek.
"Oh..." Dirk said, pulling down his shades and winking at John. "You should put some pants on." He says eyeing John. Being the protective boyfriend you are- oh you like the sound of that, you step in front of John and shout to your brother half way down the stairs, "False alarm." He smirked understanding the inside joke.

-flash back-

"If you and John start doing the do, just scream if you need a condom."

"I'm perfectly fine at my own sexual help and I don't need you orange flavored condoms... plus. John likes blueberries."