Images are critical whenever you meet someone and get to know them for real. So today, I want to talk about 'making an image.'
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not about to tell you to make a fake facade about yourself. I'm telling you to make yourself a noticeable character chart before approaching someone you like.
This must sound sketchy, so let me elaborate on that.
Think of any romance novel, movie, Netflix, drama without a sci-fi or fictional background. The main characters, especially those in love, each has a strong sense of personality. There is the general courageous type like Princess Leia in Starwars or Katniss in the Hunger Games. (Sure, they do have their fallbacks, but still, their overall characteristic is brave and outgoing.) There's also the shy type, such as Jane from Pride and Prejudice and Hannah from 13 Reasons Why. These characteristics are numerous, and the more vivid they are, the more loving they seem throughout the story.
This functions the same in our reality.
Even if your character is somewhat 'simple-minded,' it still can be an attractive trait if set right. But most girls have a problem in 'finding' their unique identity. Don't worry about that, though. Here are some ways you can find your authentic self-identity.
Ask Friends
Friends are your 'peers,' which means they know the 'social' side of you and how your social peers perceive you. Ask them to describe your personality in a few words. Sentences make it rather hard to understand and requires interpretation. Words are better when it comes to drafting your image. I recommend you to write them down as much as you can follow. But remember, though, whether the friend has known you for long doesn't necessarily matter; it's essential that he or she is trustworthy and considers the word choice thoroughly.
Write it down
Some say you know yourself better than anyone in the world. (Honestly, I don't necessarily agree, but some people do seem to have a clear vision of themselves.) If you are confident that you are capable of viewing yourself objectively, it's a good idea to write the words that describe you best. Remember that the terms don't have to be adjectives. If you dearly like chocolate, write 'chocolate.' If you adore the color blue, write 'blue .' Write about what you dislike and like. Write what you think of specific topics, favorite movie genre, etc. As you elaborate on it, you'll get a sheet full of words that identify you as 'you'.
What a simple step, right? Now, the next step is much significant.
If you have done the first step, you'd probably have a whole sheet of words. Now, circle the words that show a 'personality' such as 'introvert,' 'cute,' or 'adventurous.' Once done, choose a few words you agree with the most, things you feel describe you so accurately, and circle them more noticeably.
I'm sure a few sisters out there would be complaining by now.
"omg, this is going too long. Is this that important?"
To those friends, I am sorry. But this is the most effective way of figuring your image out. I want to make sure your 'image' of choice is still 'yourself' because losing your own identity to look more attractive is not attractive at all. Just fake.
So let me cut to the chase.
Now that you have your words circled remember these words. And try to put these words into his head when he thinks of you.
Woah, that sounds so complicated, huh? Don't worry- I'll explain further on.
Let me give you some examples to show you a picture of what this would help you with.
Let's say you are finally having a full chatty conversation. If you're not sure of your image, you'll lose what to talk about in a few sentences, leaving the conversation hanging. These sorts of small talk and acquaintances are short-lasting in his head. Instead, if you had an image you want to put through his head, you have a better chance to be remembered.
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For instance, I had a friend whom I taught this method. Her words were 'cute,' 'dessert,' and 'cheerful'. When she approached her "potential-bf" (as she told me back then with hope), her way of speech turned much cuter than she usually was, and she rocked it. (Though she is already adorable even to me, her actions were so naturally somehow cuter.) She said a lot of positive words, and her gestures were cheerful. However, the most significant part I was dearly proud of was that she was the most natural I've seen her in front of him. Mostly she'd freeze up, mumble positive words all over the place. Surprisingly, she even asked him out- without any guidance. She asked him to join her at her favorite cake cafe. Later on, she told me she was surprised at herself as well. She's dating him for longer than I expected.
Another time, I introduced this method to a friend who'd freeze up so much she would come back without saying a hi. I encouraged her that her shy and introverted part was her beauty and part of herself. I told her she should just let him know she's sheepish. She also remembers the other words she had, such as (the things she liked)'music,' 'nearby-walking trail.' Put those words through his head. And once she did, the boy fell for her a lot. When I asked him later how he thought of her, he said she seemed like a timid girl on the same campus, but as he talked more with her, he found things they liked in common and her beautiful laugh. They dated a while, but since I cannot lie to my readers, they broke up not long ago.
Like this, if you have your words in your head, focus on the way you behave and make sure you're not making things up. Make sure you are seen as 'yourself' to him, especially on those qualities you wrote down.
If you're having trouble approaching him because you are afraid of how he'll think of you, you tend to freeze up, or you don't know what to say, I say you should try writing your characteristics down. You might have much more attractive traits than you think. And even if the characteristics look un-attractive, sometimes they look much adorable than you might see it.
***Any questions and suggestions are welcomed on the comment box below!
