Chapter 13: Of Course, I Can

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Briar had almost been able to completely avoid Pansy. This was obviously most difficult to achieve in the dorms since they shared a room, but she stayed out late and slid into bed as soon as she got back, ignoring any of Pansy's attempts to communicate at that time. Briar wasn't sleeping well again, so she easily woke up before her roommates, leaving the Slytherin dorms at ungodly hours to maintain her immature game of avoidance.

She didn't mean to be passive aggressive or hurtful in her actions, but she wasn't really considering their feelings at that point. She felt like she had to avoid them because she had promised herself at nine years old that she wouldn't tell another soul what had happened, and she broke that promise because she let her anger get the best of her again. To put it simply, she was beyond furious with herself.

Briar couldn't face Pansy after what had happened, and she could only assume that Pansy had told their other two roommates what was said since all three of them loved to gossip so dearly. As a result, Briar just avoided all of them, sitting alone at mealtimes and only talking to Millicent minimally in their Potions class since they were potions partners. Whenever Millicent tried to mention something about the fight, Briar just ignored her until she stopped.

On a more positive note, Briar was finishing the potions faster than she ever had before since she was desperately trying to get away from her roommates as fast as possible. Snape seemed mildly impressed at her impeccable speed paired with her continued accuracy lately, but Briar hardly noticed because she was just trying to survive. It felt as though something inside her broke all over again, and she was just trying to find enough air to breathe lately.

Maybe some people found telling others about their struggles was relieving, but for Briar, it was just terrifying and embarrassing. She couldn't believe she had let someone in so close.

Briar had essentially handed her darkness over to Pansy on a silver platter, and she knew that her fellow Slytherin wouldn't know what to do with this information. Pansy likely wasn't used to that type of darkness, and Briar had hoped Pansy never would catch a glimpse of the storms that waged inside of her, but she messed it all up. She let her roommate get her upset, and then she lost control.

Thank God she hadn't lost control in front of her father. That's what truly mattered because that was a matter of survival, and she was determined to graduate from Hogwarts in one, sane piece.

Briar raced down the halls once classes ended for the day and slipped into the library. She tried to find a table in the more hidden, secluded part of the library, but she came to a halt when Malfoy was leaning against the table disinterestedly as if he were waiting for her.

When her padded steps came to a halt, Malfoy's silver eyes flickered up to stare at her. Briar cursed under her breath and turned around to hurry out of the library, but she hardly took two steps before she was yanked backwards by a firm grip. She hissed, "Leave me alone, Malfoy."

Briar glanced back at Malfoy to see him tip his head to the side. He retorted, "Oh, so you can speak."

The raven-haired girl tore her arm from his grasp and snapped, "Of course, I can."

"Then why aren't you talking to your roommates?"

Briar crossed her arms and spat, "As if Pansy didn't already tell you all of the details, Malfoy."

He rolled his eyes and grumbled, "No, she didn't. She refuses to answer any of my questions about what happened. It's absolutely ridiculous..."

"Then why are you here?"

Malfoy glared at Briar and snapped, "Because it's obvious the two of you fought, and we're all sick of it. Stop acting like a child, Briar, and just make up already."

Briar rolled her eyes and snarled, "Like you said earlier, you don't know what happened."

"Correct. But I do know how Pansy has been coming to me crying for the last week because she believes she's an awful person. Do you hate her that much?" Malfoy spat as he stared intently into Briar's eyes.

She sighed. She hadn't really considered Pansy's feelings, and she wasn't sure she was now, but she could recognize a guilt trip when she saw one. She probably should feel bad. She wasn't even mad at Pansy anymore. She was really just mad at herself.

Briar sighed and looked away from Malfoy. She grumbled, "Fine, fine. Just leave me alone."

"So you'll talk to her?" He confirmed with raised eyebrows and a scowl.

Briar nodded and started to leave the library again, but Malfoy grunted, "Finally."

Without another glance casted in Briar's direction, Malfoy left the library, presumably to head back to his dorm.

Briar waited a few moments before heading back to the dorms herself. When she arrived, she found Pansy sitting in her bed stiffly. As soon as Briar entered the room, she perked up and instantly tried to catch Briar's eyes. This time, Briar let her.

Briar let out a long sigh before clarifying, "Listen, I didn't mean for you to think I hated you. I don't. But, I need you to promise to never try to tell me what to do again and to never, ever mention what was said in that conversation, understand?"

Pansy jumped to her feet with rapid nodding. She crossed the room and crushed Briar in a tight hug within seconds of Briar's remarks. Briar remained stiff and still for the hug's duration, and Pansy eventually pulled back, realizing that Briar wouldn't be hugging her back.

Pansy took a few steps back from Briar and gushed, "Oh, I'm so glad you're speaking to me again. Briar, I'm so sorry. I'll never tell you what to do again, and I really feel miserable about how that conversation went. I never meant to-"

Briar held up her hand and interrupted, "Uh, no. You promised to never mention that conversation again."

"Right...Can I just say one thing?" Pansy asked with hands interlaced in front of her and a pleading expression on her face.

"No."

Pansy loudly sighed as her body deflated. Briar ignored her melodramatics and just set her bag beside the foot of her bed tiredly. She ditched her robes and climbed on top of her covers with her sketchbook in hand.

After a few moments of silence between the two girls, Pansy whispered in a voice just loud enough for Briar to hear, "I'm here if you ever need me, Briar."

Briar didn't look up but just slightly nodded her head to acknowledge Pansy's comment. She showed no other reaction outwardly, but Briar felt the way her heart picked up and her palms grew sweaty.

Her secret was out, yet none of the things she expected to happen did, and this gave her a vague sense of security that she hadn't felt in years.

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