Fallen Angels: Fallen Book 1 (a Boys of Porn novella)

CH 6

"Hey." Brian came down the carpeted stairs into Patrick's bedroom. "What's up? You sounded funny on the phone."

Patrick stood from his desk chair. "I'm kind of freaking out."

"Freaking out?" Brian frowned. "Why?" He sat on the end of the bed.

Remaining on his feet, Patrick paced across the carpet, hands flexing. "I... I had a dream last night." He didn't get any further before his throat closed up.

"And?" Brian stared at him. "A dream about what?"

Patrick swallowed and stopped pacing. His hands continued to flex. "Not what." He trembled. "Who."

Light tension seeped into Brian. "Who...?"

His lips tight, Patrick swallowed a few more times. "Derek."

Brian slowly rose from the bed. "What kind of dream?" The look on his face assured Patrick he knew exactly what kind of dream it had been.

"A... um...." Patrick turned away, his cheeks flushing hotly.

"A..." Brian faltered. "... wet dream?"

Patrick turned around. "Yes." He shook his head. "I-I didn't mean to dream about him. I prayed and read the Bible before I went to bed, I kept my thoughts pure as I fell asleep. I don't know why..."

"It was a dream," Brian murmured. "We can't control our dreams. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't sin."

It felt like sinning to Patrick—how his body continued to "burn" for Derek even after he woke up, how he had to fight not to think about him—both this morning and last night.

"I-I know," he mumbled. "But I feel like I did. What's wrong with me? I've always done so well, not being tempted. I mean, temptation is everywhere, but not like this."

Brian came closer. "What do you mean? Are you consciously thinking about him?"

"I'm trying not to."

Brian sighed. "Don't get too upset. We're human. And human beings are geared to desire companionship. But us... because we aren't attracted to women... that's our burden to bear. God fulfills our lives in other ways, to compensate for what we can't have."

"I know," Patrick whispered.

"Don't freak out." Brian squeezed his shoulder. "I've had those kinds of dreams before. Not a lot, but now and then. Maybe it's how our mind and body deals with our desires without actually acting on them. I don't know." He shrugged. "I don't know what causes dreams."

"You've had those dreams?"

"Yeah."

"About... who?"

Brian shook his head. "I don't know. I don't think it's ever anyone specific. I don't usually remember much about them." He frowned. "Do you remember your dream?"

In agonizing detail. "Yeah, some." He hung his head. "I wish it wasn't about anyone I knew. I-I think it would be easier that way."

"Well, technically, you don't know him. And you'll probably never see him again. So, don't worry about it. Maybe it was just your mind flushing him from your thoughts." He smiled. "Today's a new day. And each day is a fresh start. Put it out of your mind and rest assured that God is not looking down on you in condemnation. You did nothing wrong."

Patrick nodded with a weak smile. "Yeah. I-I guess you're right."

"Okay, then." Brian patted his back. "Do you want to do something later? I'm helping out at the church this morning, but I'll be done around noon. You want to do something then?"