The Quagmires

Chapter 10: The Evil Exercise

There are many words that can describe a man such as Count Olaf, like arrogant, careless, cruel, conceited, foolish, greedy, rude, selfish; the list could go on forever. I must now warn you, dear reader, that the Quagmires will soon be tormented by Count Olaf, a phrase which here means that Count Olaf will cause Duncan and Isadora Quagmire to physically and mentally suffer. Therefore, if I were you, I would close this book right now, and be rid of it before it's too late, and before this sad story changes my life for the worse.

After Duncan and Isadora figured out that Count Olaf was roaming the grounds of this miserable school, they headed to pep rally. Not only did they want to make it there on time to save themselves the candy-buying, but they also wanted to inform their friends, the Baudelaires, about Count Olaf being on the premises. They walked into the school's athletic field and it was filled with excited, yet negative, students seated on plastic chairs, facing a large stage. Many trees seemed to have mistaken the field's benches for their graveyards, if trees were ever buried after their death. There was also a leaning score board with the school motto written clearly onto it. "Memento Mori" was the school's motto, which, to the Quagmires' dismay, meant 'remember you will die'. The Quagmires found the Baudelaires, who had saved them two seats, and sat next to them.

"We saw something," explained Duncan in a low voice. All of a sudden, every student, except Duncan, Isadora, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, was off his or her chair, cheering very loudly. It made it much harder for the Quagmires and the Baudelaires to hold their private conversation.

"What did you see?" exclaimed Violet.

"We think we saw Count Olaf," yelled Isadora.

"What," cried Klaus. The cheers were way too loud, and the children could not hear each other.

"We think Count Olaf is here," restated Duncan loudly.

"What?" asked Violet. They were still unable to hold their important, private conversation.

"Thank you. Thank you," shrieked a familiar voice. The Quagmires turned around to see their vice principal trying to quiet down the students. "Welcome, to the mandatory pep rally," he said when the students were finally silent. "I don't know which word I like more, the word 'pep' or the word 'rally'.

"I like 'pep'," interrupted Mrs. Bass.

"I like 'rally'," debated Mr. Remora.

"Maybe we should ask our mascot! What do you say?" yelled vice principal Nero. Everyone in the crowd cheered violently, except for the Quagmires and Baudelaires of course.

"What's the mascot of Prufrock Prep?" asked Violet in a yelling manner.

"A dead horse!" exclaimed Duncan in reply.

"It sounded like you said-" Klaus tried to say but Isadora continued the sentence for him.

"A dead horse. But that's not important," she explained.

"Who can't be beat?" exclaimed Carmelita.

"A dead horse!" yelled the crowd.

"Who can't be beat?" 

"A dead horse!"

"Hi-yah!" Carmelita kicked the mascot of a dead horse, causing the people inside to weaken in pain and collapse onto the ground. Carmelita raised her hands expecting praise, which she got from the students of Prufrock Prep.

"You have to listen," yelled Isadora as she leaned closer for the Baudelaires to hear her. "My brother and I saw-"

"Shush!" hollered Mrs. Bass at Isadora.