Her Lost Soul

Chapter 32

When we get out of the shower we get dressed and Riley continues to cook breakfast. I walk into the kitchen and I grab her meds and I slide them into her mouth. I've missed doing this, she grins and swallows. I make a coffee and I sit at the table and I look through her diary and drawings again. It's all dark, no colour, is that intentional?
"Flynn," she groans.
"What? I'd like to know everything about you. Things you'd never tell me, things I need to know."
"You know me better than anyone already," she sulks.
"It's not enough for me," I shrug. I sip my coffee as I read the new chapters. Her arms wrap around my shoulders and her cheek rests against mine. I put my hand on her forearm.
"You have everything from me," she states.
"What did you mean yesterday? About I take everything from you anyway?"
She sighs, "Nothing really. It sounded like a bad thing but I guess I didn't mean anything by it. You have my heart, my body, my everything," she shrugs.
"Definitely sounded like a bad thing, baby," I smirk.
"I guess I was just annoyed with Ariel. I hate sharing things but she has what I want and need. I want to punch her head in for just being around you," I laugh. "Flynn," she whines.
"I know it looks that way baby but she doesn't have me. I fucked her a few times before you meant anything to me. Ever since we kissed the first time that was it. She annoys the fuck out of me. I didn't even ask her to be my girlfriend, that was Tyler."
"Is she good in bed?"
I laugh, "Is this what this is about? You're worried I'm tempted by her? Riley, sex with you is on a much deeper level. I've never felt anything like it, besides, she's not that experienced. She's better but only because I choose."
"Oh," she says miles away.
"What?"
"I just, I guess it's meaningful for her. It was meaningful to me that James taught me how to fuck. I loved him because of that," she whispers. "She loves you."
"It doesn't matter. I love you. He may have taught you how to fuck but not how to love. I did that, he made you insecure so you'd need him. He made you doubt his love for you to make you his puppet. He hurt you to make you scared to leave him."
"You are so quick to shame him but at least he didn't leave me," she releases me and walks back to the kitchen. I sigh, that's a low blow. I get up and walk to the kitchen, I put my arms around her from behind.
"I bet he would never leave you even if it was better for you. He was selfish, I'm doing this to keep you safe," I kiss her cheek.
"So you say but is it not up to me? If I am the one supposedly in danger then it should be my choice. I accepted it, doesn't mean I understand it."
"You aren't really a good judge of character, besides, you're a bit reckless."
She turns in my arms and looks up at me, "You are the best person I know. You're kind, caring, loving, protective, and any girl would be lucky to have you. I think that makes me a brilliant judge of character."
She's too cute, "I'm also dangerous, overprotective, jealous, a stalker, a murderer, a fighter, you see the good in people and I love you for it. Sometimes you don't see the bad, or at least you choose not to see it."
She cups my face, "You're blinded by the bad, you don't see clearly," she insists. "You've spent too long in the darkness."
"I'm not blinded, I've been seeing clear since you walked into my life, you are my light and you guide me out of the darkness." She smiles and I lean forward and I lightly rest my lips against hers. "I love you," I whisper. I go to pull away but she crushes her lips to mine. "Ri," I growl.
She pulls away, "Right, sorry. You have a habit of consuming me," she smiles and turns around and finishes cooking breakfast.
"I could say the same," I slap her backside and she yelps. She starts serving breakfast and I pour some orange juice for us both.
"Where do you want to eat? Bedroom or couch?"
"Hmm, bed," I smirk. She shakes her head, I grab the plates and she takes the glasses. We walk into the bedroom and we sit on the bed. It's funny how we have our sides now. Mines the right if you're looking at the bed closest to the bathroom and hers is on the left.
She brings the duvet over her and I pass her a plate. She rests it on her lap over the duvet. I put my plate on the bed and I kick off my jeans. I'm going to get fecking hot if not. I climb back on the bed and lift the plate up and I bring the duvet over my legs and place the plate on my lap. She giggles, "Are you comfy yet?"
"Oh I'm sorry, am I annoying you, my lady?" We both laugh hysterically. She passes me my juice and I put it on my bedside table. I find the remote and I press play, we start eating and it tastes so good. "Remind me to keep you hostage so you can cook for me more often. It's fucking good," she laughs at me.
"Is that all I'm good for?" she smirks.
"Hmm, well I could think of other things. Ones that aren't appropriate for the kitchen. Things more naughty and forbidden." She gasps but keeps eating. Once we finish eating Riley gets up and washes up. She doesn't sit still that girl. I wait in bed for her to come back. It doesn't take her long before she returns. "Do you think we can watch the rest of the film without interruptions now?"
"Excuse me for liking a clean apartment," she rolls her eyes. She leans against the headboard and I slide my hand under the duvet and rest my hand on her bare thigh between her legs. She's only wearing my top and panties again. I press play and we watch the rest of the film.
We watch the next two films together. I made dinner and she tidied around me. That girl hates mess. We started watching Rampage but she fell asleep halfway through. My phone pings and I pull it out of my pocket. 11 pm, how has the day gone so quickly already?
TYLER- She left, I'm fucked, she's hard work. Coast is clear.
ME- Gross Man. Okay, be back soon.
I look at sleeping Riley, I don't want to leave her. I turn the TV off and I lay on my side looking at her and we are facing each other. I smooth the hair away from her face. She looks so peaceful. I groan and get out of bed, I grab my jeans and slide my legs in. "No," she mutters. I look at her and she's frowning in her sleep. "You're hurting me," she whimpers.
I lean over the bed and I stroke her face, "Shh, baby, you're safe," I say softly to her and she settles. I kiss her forehead and I get up pulling my jeans up and doing them up.
"I'm sorry Mommy, take my hand," she pleads. Hell! How can I leave her? "I will never have kids," she whimpers. Fuck it! I undress into my boxers and I climb back into bed with her. She moves and clings to me. How much is it killing her not being able to get pregnant? If I could give it to her I would. I wish I could fix all her pain. I hold her to me and I fall asleep.
Something hits my head and I jolt awake. What the hell? "The fuck?" I groan.
"Get the fuck up, man. You promised me," Tyler yells. Why is he so angry this morning? He can be as moody as his sister. I sit up against the headboard and rub my eyes.
"Christ, Bro. We just slept, I fell asleep. Calm down, it's too early for this shit." I remove my hands from my eyes and he's glaring at me. Riley is at the foot of the bed watching us anxiously.
"Oh yeah, so she's in your top and you're in your boxers for innocent reasons. How am I to believe that?" he growls.
"Trust me she'd be naked if I had," I grin and he launches at me. Riley leaps on the bed between us and sits cross-legged between us.
"Stop it, you can both leave now. I don't like you both fighting in front of me," she says emotionally. I guess her two favourite people fighting isn't great. Tyler sighs and gets off the bed.
"Come we are leaving for Duke in twenty minutes," I get up and slide my jeans up my legs. "You are coming right?" Tyler says and I look at Riley.
"Haven't decided," she shrugs. She stayed away from Duke to avoid me and now she wants to spend as much time with me as she can so why wouldn't she come?
"Okay, we'll be outside in twenty minutes if you're coming. If you aren't there we will leave, I hope you do come though." I finish dressing and I look at her as she picks her phone up. Please come, baby. I leave her in her room and I follow Tyler out of her apartment. He turns on me when we are in our apartment. He pins me against the wall. "How many times do I need to warn you off bro?"
"Nothing happened!" Well, not last night.
"I allowed you to stay the first night because she couldn't be trusted. I texted you to come back but you didn't. I need you to back off, you need to convince me that you don't want her or I'll make sure you never see her again."
"You can't do that!" I growl.
"She's my sister, I can do what I want. Do you want to never see her again?"
"Of course not," he's being irrational.
"Then convince me," he releases me and walks to his bedroom. The fuck! I walk to the bathroom and I climb into the shower. Would he really keep me away from her? Think of how he would react if he knew I did have sex with her and other activities.
Once I'm washed I get out the shower and I change into clean clothes. Hell, Abigail even did some washing. When did she do that? When I'm done I go to the kitchen and make a coffee and some toast. Tyler immerges from his room and he steals my toast. "Bro," I grumble.
"Thanks, bro," he grins and bites into it. I make more toast as he eats mine. I sip on my coffee, I really fucking hate him right now but I love him more. Once I eat my toast I brush my teeth and we wait in the hallway for Riley. We lean against the wall. "Do you think she's coming?"
"Who knows where she's concerned," I shrug.
"Well, it's been twenty-two minutes, let's go," Tyler mutters.
"Wait," I urge. "I have faith," I say and he glares at me. He shakes his head and her door opens. She locks the door and then looks at us. She bites her lip and she holds her phone up.
"What are you doing sis?" Did she just take a picture? Why? She puts her phone in her bag. Where's her school bag? She's got a small one today. She always has her bigger one when going to uni.
"Nothing," she shrugs. Tyler walks towards her and wraps his arm around her shoulder. I follow them as they walk to the elevator, I need to convince him, how?
"Sure, sure. I'm glad you're coming, I didn't think you would. We were about to leave." No, he was. I had hope that she would. Tyler presses the call button.
It pings open, "It takes a long time to look this good." Tyler laughs and they walk in and I do the same and face forward trying to not communicate with her. She looks breathtaking without trying. She looks so much better without makeup.
"I guess you're right, you're truly horrifying without sleep and makeup." Liar! I don't look back at them although I know they are play fighting. "I'm joking, jeez."
"Coffee is on you, after that!"
"You do know that our money comes out the same bank account so it means nothing."
"Of course I know that! It's still the thought that counts." When the elevator opens I walk out of the elevator. Confined spaces with Riley isn't good, not for me when I need to convince Tyler.
We reach his car, "You know what? I think I'm going to walk," Riley panics. Man, will she ever get over this?
"Just get in, Ri," I roll my eyes. Was that convincing enough? I get in the front, please get in, baby. I've got you, just get in. She sighs and opens the door and slides in. That's my girl. I glance at her and she's brought her knees to her chest. Tyler drives to a drive-thru as we sit in silence.
Tyler pulls up at the window, "Two Americano's and a decaff please. I'll have a breakfast bagel, Flynn?"
I had eaten toast but I guess I could still eat, "Cinnamon Roll," I mutter and Tyler has to repeat it.
"Lee?"
"Nothing. I can't even have a proper coffee," she sulks. Yeah because you could die, just eat, baby. You can live without caffeine, I can't live without you.
"You have to have something. She will have a croissant, can you add some strawberry jam with that. She's fussy, plus orange juice."
"Is that everything sir?" Riley snorts, her humour is something else.
"Shut up, Lee. Yes thanks," Tyler hands over his card and he directs us to the next window. We wait a few minutes before the drinks are handed over. Tyler hands the drinks to me and I place them in the holders of the car. I reach back and pass Riley's hers and she sighs. She wraps her hands around the cup essentially wrapping them around my hand. My hand tingles when I withdraw.
Tyler passes me the bag and I get out his bagel. I unwrap it and I hand it to him. I get out my roll and pass Riley the bag with her bits in. Tyler sets off again and he takes a bite of his bagel and Riley waves her hand to him and he sighs. He passes it to her and she takes it. She takes a bite and passes it back to him.
I take a bite of mine and she waves her hand at me, she wants to taste mine? I can't willingly hand it over because of Tyler. I'd give her anything if she asked, I move it further out her reach, "Flynn," she whines.
"You have your own food, I'm starving."
"Flynn, please," she begs. I shake my head and she crosses her arms.
"I've learned not to fight her on this," Tyler says casually. I glare at him, I'm trying to convince him and he's saying I should have just handed it over? Hell! I hear Riley sigh loudly, she's a drama queen.
I move so I'm facing her but she's glaring out the window, "Fine, Ri. Here," I hold it out to her but she ignores me.
She shakes her head, "Nope, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I don't want to try it anymore." Fuck me! She's the most frustrating girl I know.
"Here we go," Tyler groans. This is all his fault, I would have just given it to her.
"Is she for real?" I ask him.
"Yes, you should have just given it to her. She won't share her food but if you don't share yours. . ." Tyler sighs.
"Riley, just take it." I continue to hold it out to her.
"No, I told you. I don't want it," she snaps.
Christ, she's challenging, "Fine," I growl and I face forward again.
I go to take a bite but Tyler looks at me with wide eyes, "Don't do it, bro. It's a trap. If you eat it all without her trying it she will hit the roof," Tyler warns.
Fuck my life! "Are you kidding me? Fuck sake. Your sister is bloody hard work."
"Don't I know it. I grew up with this. I just learned to deal with her to make it easier."
I turn back around, "Riley, take the damn roll." I demand. She turns her head to look at me and she scowls. She opens her mouth to protest but I cut her off, "Don't tell me you don't want it. Just take your mouthful so I can finish it, I'm starving." She rolls her eyes and she takes the roll off me and she takes a bite whilst looking at me.
She smiles and hands it back to me whilst she chews. Christ, she's hard work. I shake my head and mutter my frustration and I face forward and start eating my roll. I finish my coffee and roll by the time we make it to Duke. When Tyler pulls up Riley gets out the car and starts walking away. Tyler opens his door and half gets out, "Bye then!" Tyler calls.
She turns around and pokes her tongue out and keeps walking. "She's a nightmare," he groans. He gets back in and leans over the back to collect her rubbish. He collects ours and we get out of the car. He carries rubbish to the bin and we walk to class.
By midday, I'm bored as fuck. Tyler texts me to meet him at the usual place for lunch and I make my way there. Riley should be here too, she always eats here when she's at uni. I walk to our table and Tyler slaps my shoulder.
"Where the hell you guys been?" Matty asks. "You disappeared off the face of the earth."
"My Dad bought us an apartment mate."
"Awesome, you need to come to the frat house tonight to catch up. We are all hitting it up."
"Sure," Tyler agrees. "Anyone seen my sister this morning?"
"Well, yeah," Nathan shrugs. Fucking hell! "I was rather annoyed actually, she asked Jesse for a lift and not me! She knows I'll take her anywhere."
"Hold up, a lift where?" Tyler growls.
"She didn't say, I asked her but she ignored the question."
Tyler gets his phone out of his pocket and puts it to his ear, "Jesse, where the hell are you?" he growls. "Where did you take my sister this morning?" I watch as he listens, "What, why?" he frowns. "If she calls, let me know." He hangs up and he looks at me. "Jesse took her to the bus station."
"What? Why? Is she going home?" I ask anxiously.
"She told Jesse she wasn't going home. Only that she had personal errands," he frowns. "I'll text her. He types on his phone. "I'll message my parents just in case she is going there."
"Your sister is fucking hard work, bro."
"I know," he agrees. I don't trust her to be alone. We order lunch and I'm growing more impatient. I text her asking where she is, she always replied to me even when she didn't reply to Tyler. I head to class and by three pm I'm losing my shit, I ring her but it goes straight to voicemail. Has she turned her phone off?
Where could she possibly go that she needs a bus?
ME- Please tell me she's there. X
ABIGAIL- No sign, Honey. X
Fuck sake. If she was going there she'd be there by now surely. I head to work after class and I am freaking out with her radio silence. I should never have left her alone after what happened on Saturday. "Nipper, what's wrong?" Mac asks.
"Tyler's sister is MIA and it's stressing me out."
"Does she make a habit of this?"
"Not really, no," I shrug.
"Well, go find her then," he urges.
"I need something to distract me," I insist.
"No, go, you won't be any good here. Go support Tyler if nothing else," I sigh and nod. I pull my phone out and it's 5.30 pm. Well, I'm nearly done anyway. I text her again for the thousandth time today and I make my way to the frat house.
When I arrive Tyler comes to me, "I checked her apartment and nothing, has she answered you?" he asks.
"No, nothing," I sigh.
"My Mom is going to call the police soon if she doesn't get in contact, she's stressing everyone out!" he is freaking out as much as me. I walk to the kitchen and find some sourz. I pour some in cups and I return to Tyler.
"Get this down you, bro. I need you to calm the fuck down. Knowing your sister she's absolutely fine and she will walk through the door acting as though nothing happened."
He smirks and takes his cup, "You're probably right," it's such a Riley thing to do. The front door opens and we both look but it's just Jesse. Behind him is Regan, fuck my life! I don't need her around me.
Jesse and Regan walk over to us, "So, Riley told me you lied. So she's back on the market, I brought your girlfriend so that we're both happy," I glare at him and Tyler puts his hand on my chest. Right, convince him, I can do this, can't I?
"Absolutely," I nod grudgingly. I take Regan's hand and I kiss her hand. See, I can do this. I take a swig of my drink.
"Sweet!" Jesse grins. Tyler gets his phone out and he frowns.
"Thank god," he sighs. "She's fine she's on the way home, I've texted her to meet us here. She better have a good bloody excuse for worrying us. I'll message my Mom to let her know," why did she text Tyler and not me? I pull my phone out and I have nothing.
"You want a drink, babe?" I say sweetly and she nods with a grin. "Come on then," I bring her with me to the kitchen. I pour her some sourz there isn't a lot else. She thanks me and I pull her to the couch. I make her sit on my lap and Tyler sits next to us. I place my hand on her thigh and she blushes. So fucking innocent.
"When are you going to invite us to see your place?" Jesse asks.
"Whenever dude but my Dad's banned all house parties. There's a no party policy in the agreement or something." Since when?
"He will never know, we can have a tiny one. When have you followed rules? Have you got boring with having your own apartment?"
"Fine, a small one. My Dad would probably evict me or some shit if I ruined his reputation." Would he? I remember how Hayden spoke about drunk Riley as though he was ashamed and didn't want her home. As time passes I get so bored. I need to convince Tyler, being away from Riley for a whole day not knowing where she is has fucking killed me. Imagine how I'd feel if he kept me away from her.
I make Regan get up and I bring her towards the stairs. I kiss her and she responds to the kiss. Hell, I actually feel sick kissing her. Anyone would think I'm gay! I feel nothing, well I do I feel repulsed. She pulls me closer to her as I continue this torture. I escalate the kiss for Tyler's benefit, I'm glad her eyes are closed because my face is screwed up. I'd rather face torture over this.
I pull away and I kiss her neck, I need to break the kiss before I puke. "You want to take this upstairs, babe?" I can stop kissing her upstairs and it will look like I'm going to fuck her. She nods and I take her hand and pull her the stairs. I hope no one has taken over my room, I'm still technically occupying it. I open my door and it looks untouched. I let go of her hand and I sit on my bed.
She climbs on top of me and I groan in frustration. I grab her wrists and pin them behind her, I need to do this on my terms if I'm going to have her in here. I slowly kiss her neck to drag things out, if she's my cover I have to give her something or Tyler will get suspicious. I take a deep breath the things I do for Riley. Just to have her close to me, it feels as though my whole body is screaming at me. I don't want this yet I have to! I feel backed into a corner.
I pull her dress over her head and I pin her wrists behind her back again. Now what? I don't want to go any further. Hell! I never wanted to get to this point. My door opens and I glare at the door, Tyler barges in and Regan grabs her dress and tries covering her body. He's holding his nose, "What happened to you?"
"She's fucking lost it, man, she punched me!" Who?
"What?" I push Regan off me and she slides her dress on. "I'll see you in a sec, I'll find you." She nods and leaves the room.
"My sister!" Why the fuck would she punch him? "Nathan came to find me to say that Riley was drinking." I scowl at him, he better fucking be joking! "I didn't believe but when I found her she was doing the keg challenge with Tristan." The fuck is she doing? "I pulled her away and she started screaming at me."
"Why is she drinking?" I growl.
"She saw you and Regan. She knows you were coming up here to fuck her. I told her she needed to get over it, it's not the first time and it won't be the last. She punched me and said she was nothing and she was done," Fuck! "She's drinking herself into oblivion. You need to do something bro."
"I can't," I growl. "You told me to convince you! I did all of this to prove that," he glares at me.
"So you aren't going to help? Are you serious?"
"I don't know what you want from me? You threaten me when I get too close and then use me when it suits you. I can't never see her again. So, this is on you. You made this call. This is me convincing you." He glares at me whilst he shakes his head. He storms out of the room. I flop face down on the bed and I punch the bed over and over. I hate that she resorted to drink, she should know I'd never fuck Regan. I told her I wouldn't.
Of course, I'm going to help, I just can't be seen to doing it. I get up and I walk downstairs, I search the ground floor for her but I can't see her. I head outside to look for her not that I think she'd be out here but I have to check everywhere. I go to walk back inside when I can't see her and Regan blocks my path. Fuck sake!
"You aren't very good at finding me, you walked past me many times." That's because I wasn't looking for you! "Why is everyone so concerned about Riley?"
"None of your business," I growl. The door slams open and I glare at Nathan who looks panicked and breathless.
"There you are, I've been looking for you!"
"Go away, Nath, I'm not in the mood for you!" I groan.
"Tyler sent me to get you. Riley is in danger," my panicked eyes flash to him. "Max, who moved in after you left. . . well! Just go to her old room man. Hurry!" Fuck! I push past him and I run into people as they don't get out of my way. I shove them if they are in my path. My heart is pounding as I run up the stairs.
I notice her door is broken, I slam it open and I see nothing but red! "Ri? Tyler!" I gasp. Riley's muffled screams cut deep inside of me. Tyler is beating some guy up but what concerns me is Riley is literally being raped in front of my eyes! I feel like I've been taking in my surroundings for hours but it's been mere seconds.
I hear her whimper and I launch at the guy hurting my girl. I don't know how I'm going to fucking stop. He becomes limp and I still keep going. He had his cock inside my girl without her permission whilst he gagged her. That image is going to haunt me like fuck! I'm pulled off him, "Bud, stop!" Tyler begs.
"I can't," I look at the guy on the floor. He hurt her, he fucking hurt her! I thought I would kill the guy at the club for the intention to hurt her. This guy is much worse! I struggle against Tyler and he pulls me out of the room. "Let me go," I growl.
"Bro." He pins me against the wall and he cups my face as he keeps me in place. "You need to stop. They deserve it for sure but she's going to need you." I blink, shit! Where is she? I scan my surroundings.
"Where is she?" I whisper trying to get myself under control.
"She was in a state when she walked out. She wouldn't let me touch her. She looked freaked," Nathan says and I look at him. He looks embarrassed. "She was heading out the house," I push Tyler off me and I pick up a run downstairs. I scan the ground floor but nothing, I leave the frat house and I scan the street. I need to make sure she's okay. Today has been nothing but fucking hell!