Her Lost Soul

Chapter 2

When we finish our food we head to the car. "Tyler, how far is it to campus?" Riley asks. He looks at her and he frowns.
     "About a ten-minute walk that way," he points towards Duke. "Couple of minutes in the car. Get in Riley," he demands.
     She starts walking and waves at us, "Thanks, see you there," she calls.
     "Lee, we are going that way anyway. You don't even know where it is or where to go on campus."
     "Eh, I'll figure it out, if not there are thousands of guys who will help me in exchange for a sexual favour," I literally gag. She's too far away for him to reply.
     "She has issues bro." He unlocks the car and I get in.
     He slides in next to me and puts his face in his hands. "I don't know why my parents thought it would be good to send her here. At least my town was small and we could look out for her better. It's a big place here, how can I look after her on my own? They took the easy route."
    As much as I hate to admit this, "You aren't alone bro, I'm helping." I mean jeez, I put her to bed last night and accidentally fell asleep but he doesn't need to know that.
    "I can't ask you to do that, I can ask you to watch out for her but I can't ask you to do what I do."
    "You aren't asking, what is her problem anyway?"
    He sighs and lets his hands fall from his face, "Lots bro but unless she tells you I can't. I'm sorry," I nod. I understand, well I guess I'll never know then. "I wish she would let me in, we used to be so close and now she's shut off. She's not living, she's just being. She used to laugh all the time and now it's not the same. I miss her so much."
   "I can't imagine her any other way," I admit. I've only known this girl less than 24 hours yet she's been imprinted in my mind.
    "I can see why you feel that way." He starts the car and puts his belt on. He drives towards campus. I remember hearing her laugh yesterday and I thought it was fake. His phone rings and he answers it on the com system. "Hello?"
    "Hey Honey, I was calling to check-in. How is she?" I'm assuming that's his Mom. Where's his how are you?
    "The same Mom," he sighs concentrating on the road.
    "Is she with you? Did she go to classes?"
    "She was with us, now she's making her own way to campus, you know she hates being in a car," he says. I hear the pain in his voice, he's always calm around her but now he doesn't have to be so strong. She hates being in a car? That explains things.
    "Who's us? You'll make sure she gets to class, right?"
    "Flynn," he says like she should know who I am. "I'll try my best Mom, I need to find her first."
    "Oh Flynn, you should invite Flynn home with you in half term. I need to meet him. Have a good first day back Honey, call if you need me."
    "Bye Mom," he says and hangs up. He grips the steering wheel tighter. All this pressure to look after Riley. He pulls up at the campus and I scan the car park. I see red hair bopping up and down between the cars and Regan runs and jumps into my arms. I crush her against Tyler's car and I hold her legs to support her as she clings to me. I kiss her hard and overpowering, I am always the dominant.
    Regan has red hair blue eyes, hot body but her personality bores me. She has grown too attached to me and keeps dropping hints for me to ask her out but I don't want her to be my girlfriend. I have one goal and that's in my bed. I pull away and she smiles at me. I put her back on her feet.
    "This is going to be a good year," she says. She holds my hand and I let her. We walk towards class and my eyes train in on Riley in the courtyard. My body is slowly sensing her wherever we go. She's with Nathan Walker, rugby player. He is huge and she looks tiny against him.
    She touches his chest and leans up to talk into his ear. He blushes and strokes the back of his head. She's too full-on and the guys don't know how to react. She grabs his hand and puts it on her ass and I roll my eyes. He uses his other hand to cup her face and he kisses her and I groan. I look away. "Is she fucking serious?" Tyler growls.
    "Obviously," I mutter not looking back at her. He storms towards her and we follow at a slower speed.
    "The fuck are you doing, Riley?" Tyler growls. "Touch my sister again and I'll break your face," Tyler growls and Nathan holds his hands up in defeat.
    "You can't tell me what to do, Nathan kindly agreed to show me around. You wanted me here so you have to put up with me doing this my way!" she growls back. "Nathan lives at the frat house bro. My floor or yours so I know which room to visit tonight?"
     "Christ," I mutter and I walk away pulling Regan with me. Does she have no shame? I cringe, what do I care anyway? I walk Regan to her class and I then walk to mine. I sit in the back row and I get a strange vibe and I look to the door and Riley walks in late.
     She sits in the back row on the other side of the stairs in the middle dividing us. She rummages through her bag again and places a small bottle of vodka on the table and gets out a book and a pencil. When did she get that vodka? It's not the same as she used this morning. She opens the book and I realise on close examination it's a diary.
    She starts writing in the diary and she looks up at the professor and chews the end of the pencil and I'm hard. Christ, how does she do this? She doesn't even try and boom. She takes a swig of the vodka and starts writing again. I'm too busy watching her every move to listen to the professor. I didn't think she would be the type to have a diary.
     I notice she's in black jeans, black biker top and a black leather jacket. She was in black yesterday. Is this all she wears? Every detail has me asking more questions. I've never been this interested in anyone before. Fuck, I sound like a stalker!
     She hasn't even noticed me sat here, it's like she's in her own little world, her own protection bubble. Will I ever know her secrets? I spend the whole of this lecture watching her every move. How she's nearly demolished the bottle. How I watched every stroke of the pencil. How it frustrates me that I can't see what she's writing on the page.
    She stashes the bottle and diary in her bag and she's first to leave. When she's gone my mind starts going overboard on what she's doing, who she's with if she's still on campus. I sit through my lectures and I head to the gym to meet Tyler. He's with Chad and I fist pump Chad.
    "Man, your sister is a machine, mate," Chad says to Tyler and my eyes look for her. I spot her straight away on the treadmill. She's running with headphones in. She's in Duke merch, black vest top with blue Duke written on it and short black shorts. I mean short short.
     Trust her to find workout clothes if she had a mind to. I watch as she powers on the machine and she doesn't even look out of breath. Tyler slaps Chad head, "Stop ogling my sister," Tyler growls. "She's off-limits." No one is listening to him but she's not really giving the guys a choice to reject her. She takes what she wants. My eyes fix on her breast moving up and down as she runs and my mouth goes dry.
      Fuck sake, I'm hard yet again. I'm so glad my workout shorts are baggy. I look away from her and Tyler walks to the weights. I check the weight before I sit on the chest press machine. I grab the bars and start pumping. I stay on the machine for ten minutes or so and sweat is dripping from my forehead.
       I move to the lat pull-down machine. I grab the bar and start pumping. "Ooo, she's on the move," Chad says. I roll my eyes, I need to stop watching her it's not healthy. "Call her over, you need to introduce me."
     "Pack it in," Tyler growls. I look over to Riley and she stumbles down the steps and wipes her forehead. Riley climbs onto the cross trainer and really pushes herself on it. How odd it must feel like to be intoxicated and do a hard workout.
     "She's hot, man," Chad is the same age as us. Chad has copper coloured hair and although he works out as much as us he's still lanky.
      I look at Tyler, "Does she always work out this hard?" I say quietly to Tyler and he looks at me.
     "Never used to but she does now. Runs first thing and in the evening. She uses our gym at home too in the day. Surprising she has time for anything else."
      "She must sleep like a log," she certainly slept like that last night once she stopped talking.
      "The opposite actually, she doesn't get much sleep. Hell, I haven't had much sleep either."
      "Why?"
      "Her nightmares, PTSD."
      "Does she not have meds for that?"
      "Shit, I shouldn't have told you that. Don't tell her I told you."
      "You know I won't, so does she?"
      "No, she refused all medical treatment," he sighs. Why would she do that? She wouldn't be so fucked up if she accepted help. I just don't understand. She didn't have nightmares last night, I mean she started shaking and talking. Is that part of it? At least, I don't think she did, I did fall asleep.
      I move to another machine and I look at her again. She nearly falls flat on her face getting off the machine. She holds the machine for support and she stumbles towards us. I don't even think she can see that great. She sways and falls into Chad and he grins at her. She holds his shoulders. "Oh, Hey," she slurs.
     "Hey gorgeous," Chad says. She shifts her weight so she's sat astride him on his lap.
     I roll my eyes, "I'm Chad, your name is Riley, right?" she puts her finger on his lips to silence him.
     "It's Blake to you," she slurs. She leans into his ear and whispers something. He grins and holds her hips and stands up places her on her feet. She sways and holds his arm to keep her steady.
    "Where you going, mate?" Tyler says.
    "Your sister wants to show me something," Chad winks. Fucking hell.
    "Don't, Chad! I'm warning you."
    "Live a little bro. Maybe you need a girlfriend to lighten up. I'm taking your friend and I'm going to let him fuck me in the showers. Now you're welcome to watch, it might be the only action you get," she smiles slyly. That's actually gross.
    Chad takes her hand and pulls her hastily to the showers. "I'm actually going to kill her before this week is over," Tyler curses.
    "You and me both," I agree. "Does she have no shame?"
    "Nope, would you believe me if I said she used to be goody two shoes? As innocent as they come and never swore in her life?"
    I laugh, "No, I couldn't," I can't see it but I know this behaviour is just an act. I know she's hiding from the world, from something or someone. We finish our workout and go for lunch to our usual place just outside campus.
    I pay for lunch much to Tyler's disgust. I hate him paying for everything it's just wrong. I don't have much money as I don't work full time. Mac my boss is great, he pays me more than minimum wage when I'm not qualified but he says I'm a great find.
     I feel that strange aura again and I look up and she's sat at a table on her own writing in her diary. What could she have to write? How good of a fuck Chad is? I'm surprised he's not with her right now. She looks so lost and alone all by herself yet it doesn't seem to bother her. She pours more vodka in her drink and stashes it in her bag. I look at Tyler and he hasn't even noticed her arrival.
     Our food arrives and I tuck in my food. I watch as she continues to write. Her food arrives and she shoves the burger in her mouth and chews. She literally shoved half the burger in her mouth. She struggles to chew, that's an odd way to eat yet I strangely find myself smirking.
     She shoves a handful of fries in her mouth too. Tyler shoves me gently, "What do you think, bro?"
     "Huh?" I look at him trying to disguise the fact I was stalking his sister again.
     "Milo wants to hang out tonight, black ops sesh?"
     "Sure," I say. Nice chilled even would be nice.
     I go to my next class and I don't see her for the rest of the afternoon and I walk to work. "Alright, nipper? How was first day back?"
    "Not bad, what needs doing?"
    "That merc over there, it won't start. I can't for the life of me figure it out. I know you're good with this sort of thing."
     "Sure," I say. I walk to the Mercedes and pop the hood. I look over the engine and there's nothing obvious. I work on the car for hours and I can't find the issue either. My mind keeps wandering back to her. I can't fucking concentrate. I slam my palm on the car.
    What is she doing now? Has she passed out with all the alcohol she's consumed? "Yo, nipper? Something eating away at ya? You look miles away."
    "I can't figure it out Mac, I'm sorry I'm distracted."
    "You'll figure it out, you always do. Go, I'll close, sort your head out," I should refuse but I'm not going to settle until I've seen her.
     "Mac, I can't bail."
     "You aren't bailing, I'm kicking you out my shop. Go, have fun," he laughs. I walk to him and hold my hand out to him and we hand shake.
     "Thanks Mac," I say and he nods. I head out the shop and start walking to the frat house. It's getting dark now. My mind is literally on overdrive wondering where she is, who she's with. I don't even know the girl yet she's all I can think about.
     I reach the frat house and another party is in full swing and I sigh. I climb the steps and walk in and the music is blazing. I scan the room and my eyes fix on her. She's literally only wearing a bra and panties. Christ! She's dancing on the table with a bottle in her hand. Fuck off with this instant arousal shit!
     I groan and head for the stairs. I can't fucking watch this shit. I walk up two flights of stairs to Tyler's room. I don't knock, I just walk straight in. Tyler and Milo are already playing the xbox. They both look up at me. "What's wrong with you? You're early," Tyler says.
     "Mac let me go early and I just caught your sister dancing in her underwear downstairs. Not a sight I wanted to see after work," I groan. I flop on his bed.
     "She's what?" he says. "Be right back," he gets up and walks out the room. She's too much hassle. I grab his controller and take his place in the game. Once the match ends Tyler reenters his room. He sits on the edge of the bed. "I'm going kill her," I laugh. "It's not funny, I actually like her. Well, the old her."
     "I'm all for it," I laugh. Milo gets out a fag and lights it. Man, I forgot about his weed habit. I get up and open the window. I'm not against it but it's not my thing at all.
    "I'll fucking kill you if you deal anything to my sister, you got it?" Tyler threatens.
    "Whoa calm down, mate. I promise," he says. "I need a piss," he takes the joint to the bathroom with him.
    "Would she?" I ask.
    "Yes," he sighs.
    "How do you know?"
    "Because she has her own personal dealer at home," he sighs. He picks up Milo's controller and sets up another game.
     "She's done drugs?"
     "Yes," he cringes. "Shit, I always tell you everything, it's hard to filter this shit."
     "You know your secrets are safe with me."
     "But they aren't my secrets, they are hers."
     "So? She's never going to know that you told me," the game starts and Milo returns after the match has finished. He sits on the chair and grabs another controller. Tyler sets it to offline mode. We play for hours as we drink beer.
     The door opens and Riley comes stumbling in. She falls flat on her face and she laughs. At least she's got some jeans on now but she's still topless. "Christ Sis, you're smashed."
     "Nah, I'm nota," she slurs. She climbs to her feet and sways as she smiles. Her body is covered in ink. Tristan signed his name on her breast. Nathan on her stomach, Matty on her cheek. Christ, so many names. She stumbles forward and face plants the bed.
     "You okay?" Tyler asks her but carries on playing the game.
     "Yepa!" she mumbles through the sheets. "Snacks," she says.
     "I haven't got any but you need something to sober you up," Tyler says.
     She suddenly pushes herself up and kneels on the bed. "No, I neeeed more boooze."
     "No you don't," Tyler urges. Riley looks at Milo and she smiles. She gets up and falls backwards.
      "Ow," she giggles.
      Tyler stops playing and makes his way to her. "Come on, let's get you to bed," he pulls her to her feet.
      "No, I ain't sleeping yet!" she protests. "I need more vodka," she sways but Tyler holds on to her.
     "If you can put your finger on your nose then I'll find you more booze," she smiles and brings her finger up to her face and her finger smacks into her cheek. I laugh and she frowns, it's so cute when she does that. Tyler bends down and picks her up over his shoulder.
      "Nooo, let me try again!" she protests and I continue to laugh. She's adorable, I hear her protesting once Tyler is out of sight.
      "She's a wild one," Milo says. "I need to get her number," I groan. I focus back on the screen and start playing again. Another five minutes or so and Tyler returns. It's after one pm and the music has stopped. Silence echos through the house. All I can hear is our game playing.
     "I'm going to bed," Milo announces.
     "Night mate," Tyler says. He gets up and leaves the room. We play for another thirty minutes or so. I hear a piercing scream and it jolts right through me.
      "What the fuck is that?" I say worriedly. Tyler sighs and puts his controller down and I do the same.
       "That's my sister," he says not as worried as me.
       "Why aren't you that bothered? Sounds like she's being murdered."
      "It's her nightmares," christ. He gets up and walks out of the door. I follow him down the stairs and people are gathered around her room. "Guys, go away, she's fine. Don't go in there she will hurt you."
      "But she's screaming, it woke me up," Jesse says.
      "Well get used to it. You may all love her when she's awake but you'll have to deal with this." They all nod and disperse, Tyler puts his forehead on her door battling with himself.
      "What are you doing? Aren't you going to wake her?" I ask. He looks in so much pain right now.
      "If I go in there she will go nuclear. She has a load of rules, no one in her room for one. I want to help her but it will make her worse." Worse? "Anyway," he says and stands up straight. "I'm going to bed, see you, tomorrow man." I nod and watch him walk back upstairs. Once he's out of sight I open her door.
     She's thrashing around on the bed and she covered in sweat. I shut the door behind me and I walk to her bed. I lay next to her and her thrashing turns into shaking. "No more!" she begs. I lay on my side and I stroke her hair. "Don't hurt me, I'm sorry." She whimpers. "I love you!" her shaking eases.
     I look at her face as she settles on her side facing me. Her soft parted lips are irresistible as she sleeps. She's more peaceful now. Has someone hurt this girl if she's getting nightmares? I feel a strange sense of rage at the thought. I feel. . . protective over her.
     Her hand reaches out and she grabs my hand. Fuck, is she awake? Her face moves forward and rests in the crook of my neck as she did last night. Man, she's too fucking close. My heart is thumping and although she reeks of alcohol she smells so sweet. She's fucking topless, I've never felt something so strong before. What is wrong with me?
    I continue to stroke her hair she's earth-shatteringly beautiful when she's unconscious. This is her, this is vulnerable raw Riley. No wall or mask when she sleeps. She seems to be seeking comfort in me when she's vulnerable. What has happened to this girl that she won't let anyone in her room?
     As I lay and take her in my mind shuts off and I fall asleep. I wake and remember where I am. She's wrapped around me like Ivy again. I can't help but notice that I've slept well next to her the last two nights. I carefully climb out of bed in fear of waking her. I quietly leave her room and walk upstairs. I take a shower and brush my teeth before uni.
     Once I'm dressed I walk downstairs. Tyler isn't down here yet. I flick through my phone waiting for him. When he finally appears he looks annoyed. "Ready?" he asks.
    "Yeah, what about your sister?"
    "She's going to make her own way in," he rolls his eyes.
    "Why?"
    "Because I rely on no one," he tries to mimic her and I laugh. He rolls his eyes and walks towards the door. I get up and slide my phone in my pocket. I follow him out of the house and he chucks me his keys. "I'm too tired to drive."
    "I'm a better driver anyway," I joke and he punches my arm. I love driving his car it's so much better than my car. Mac gave it to me as a bonus last year but it's got a lot of problems and it's not very reliable. I slide into the driver's seat and put my belt on. "Maccy breakfast?"
     "Yes, I like your thinking," he nods. I start the car and drive towards the drive-thru. Hell, I haven't been away from her for half an hour and I can't stop thinking about what she's doing. She's driving me insane. Will Tyler kill me when he finds out I've slept next to her the last two nights? It's not like anything sexual happened. I was technically looking after her and her nightmare faded when I was with her. Was it a coincidence? Or did the nightmares just end?