The Unknown | Jax Teller

Hands

It's not bad living in Charming. Nathan didn't think it would be. It's a little jarring being in his first home. The brick is welcoming and the interior is warm. It's familiar. Despite his mom not stepping a foot here in years, it's weird feeling her presence. It's almost disappointing waking up in the morning and heading into the kitchen not seeing her or even Kaylee. His mind wonders how Ben would be as a child.

His dad is trying though. His dad makes it a point to have breakfast every morning. Sometimes, his grandma will take him to school, but his dad drops him off to Stockton. It sometimes feels like he hasn't lived with him for an extended period of time. There are just the little things from how his sheets don't smell the same as what his mom uses that makes the truth of his living situation known. Also, Nathan can admit his mom absolutely babied him. So he doesn't expect his dad to wake him up with kisses or for the five minute hugs because his mom can't let him go.

He can tell Gemma loves him being back home. There is a weekly dinner at her house. She's been spoiling him with new clothes, accessories, and the general hoovering.

Still even with the new friends and being back with his dad's family, he misses his mother. He knew he was going to miss her, but he didn't think it would be this bad. He calls her every night. They both give each other a run down of their days. He is thankful for technology that they can video call. At first, he would take the calls in his room. He is still uncertain about where his parents stand with each other.

He knows there is not any hate between them. Just a lot of hurt. His dad had been truthful about what happened between him and his mom. Nathan can admit. He does blame his dad a lot. He thinks when his dad told him the full truth he may have even said he hated him. He hurt his family. If anything it made Nathan want to protect his mother even more. It's why he kept the video calls for his room, but his mom had called him early one day and he happened to be in the kitchen with his dad. His mom was always excited about the littlest things. She had planted a butterfly garden and had been so excited to show him the butterflies. His dad had been making them something to eat and the next thing he knew his dad had his phone while he and his mom talked about whatever.

So now, a portion of his calls are taken over by them asking how each other were. It just makes him feel even more guilt that he is keeping his suspicions and concerns from his father.

Nathan is sitting on the couch. His body is tired from football practice and he really just wants to sleep. He is dozing off slightly as his mom sends him pictures of the nails she did today.

"Your mom said it's alright for you to go to bed."

Nathan jumps at the sound of his dad's voice. He thought his dad was going to be gone all of Saturday.

"What?" Nathan asks, confused.

"She just texted saying you sent her a bunch of letters and you only do that when you are tired."

Nathan furrows his brows and looks down at his phone and he sees the text that is just a bunch of random letters.

"You and Mom are texting?" Nathan inquires.

"About you." His dad replies.

Nathan eyes his father. It's weird looking in his dad's eyes knowing he has the same ones. His mother always told him that he had his father's eyes. He sees things the way his dad does. He doesn't know if she was happy about that.

He knows his father isn't a saint clearly. His mother is a married woman. He just knows that things are complicated. He is protective over his mother and his dad has hurt her before.

"How did you do it?" He asks his father.

"Do what?"

"Let Mom go." Nathan remembers that day. The day his mom had made the decision to end things. His Dad didn't fight for her, not really. He just let her go.