11

3 am

It was a cool summer night the type of cool you could wear a hoodie and not get sweaty.

That same night 11 hit me up and we talked for a few hours.

He then asks if he could come see me and I was being hesitant, but he decides to come anyway.

30 minutes later I get a text saying, "come outside".

I was nervous but also excited that I get to see him again.

When I saw his body, his face, his hair- I was so in shock that I threw my slide at him.

As he was walking up the stairs with my slide in his hand, I kept staring and smiling like a goof.

He asked, "are you going to give me a hug?" jokingly.

And without saying anything I gave him a big I missed you hug.

He hugged me back real tightly- he had never hugged me like that before.

I felt a strong connection at that moment.

It was like our hug was doing the talking.

We both let go after a short moment and I could not help but stare at his messy, curly hair and his tempting smile.

He sat down and pulled me onto his lap.

We talked and talked- played around.

Caught up with each other and embraced the moment.

A little after that, there was tension rising.

His body next to mine.

His skin touching my skin.

He makes his move by kissing me and I kiss him back.

While his lips were on mine, I was second guessing everything that was happening and trying not to ruin the moment.

But I felt like he knew that I was not feeling it.

At that moment I was thinking to myself, why is he here? What does he want? Why am I feeling this way?

But turns out I loved the feeling.

I loved that he was there.

I loved that we were talking.

I loved his stupid but funny jokes.

I loved the way he looked at me.

I loved the way his lips tasted.

I loved the way his voice sounds.

I loved the way he hugged me like there was no one else.

But I always thought there was someone else.

That I was not what he wanted or needed.

Just a girl he talks to when he gets bored.

Maybe its my overthinking that is getting in the way.

Or maybe he is not clear on why he does certain things.

Whatever it is, I get a good and bad feeling from it.

After that night, I was scared that we will go back to being strangers once again.

Sooner or later, we will.