Corinnes Advent-Calendar

Day 18

Maggie

Snowflakes above Tokyo

Part 1

He lifted his head, and the cold air immediately brushed against his sensitive skin, forming small clouds of breath. His hair, which hadn't been bleached for a long time now, hung thickly over his face, his eyes looked dull and had lost all their shine. His full lips moved and yet hardly a sound left them.

Never had he thought that a bet would take him so far and let him fall so low. He sighed, although it had meant absolutely nothing to him at first, he had done it just for fun, just for amusement and not to be a party pooper. But he lost, everything and nothing. On top of that he had to let down his friends, of course this could have been prevented, but his pride forced him to do what he had planned for himself.

The man's fingertips were cold, he found hardly any feeling in them, and he could barely sense the untidy stubble on his face with them. He tended to exaggerate, to digress a little into the drama and maybe this was also the reason why he was unable to approach others with his problems, as his slogan was to go through it alone, to fight and survive on his own, but now it was gone, the reason why he had to fight, his goals, the motivation and also his self-chosen rival would now just go on without him. The black-haired man, with blond tips, again felt this loneliness, this emptiness, with which everything began, he thought he had finally broken out of this vicious circle, he never had to see it again, but... here it was again, this thought of not knowing where he belonged.

The difference between then and now was that there were no tears streaming down his cheeks, no sobbing narrowing his throat, he was strong, tough, but still so damn lonely.

His gaze fell on his cell phone, unlocatable, switched off, not used for some time... How many people had written him, wondering where he was? For two weeks now, he had been living in small inns, not planning to ever return to his house, not knowing how long he would get by with his hard-earned money until he found a new job.

It was so stupid, he was so stupid, why did he take things like that so seriously? They would have been so close to their goal and he... screwed up, withdrew, didn't believe in himself, quickly assumed that it was useless anyway.

When he realized his mistake, it was already too late and he just couldn't go back, couldn't look them in the eye...

"How long will it take until they have forgotten me," he murmured, his voice rough, husky, as if after a heavy flu.

(To start the story of a Hero...)