Auschwitz

Chapter 6 Prayer

My arms both being gripped by soldiers, it felt like a gorilla was breaking fragile bone. The rack was a long wooden poll. The texture was like old oak, but it also looked very grainy, it was a light shade of brown , old wood just for. As if, I could get many splinters if I even touched it once. The pushed my chest and breasts against the poll, making me flinch quickly. The poll was as I though, I quickly opened my eyes, seeing blocks being brought out. I was getting a public flogging?

"fünfzig Peitschenhiebe für Diebstahl!"
(Fifty lashes for stealing!)

Fifty lashes? it might as well be a hundred, I would die at forty the most I feel like my body could take is forty. The SS officer walked to another woman that was German and picked up the flogger with his right hand. He was now Forty feet from me, maybe Thirty feet now, now Twenty feet. The waiting is the worst part, waiting to be beaten, beaten brutally by another human being who you've done no harm to. Why? I have done nothing, I did nothing, but take wood for cold sick people.

"Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be frightened, for I am your God" I murmured soft so he may not hear, I needed Gods help now. I looked to the blue sky, the clouds were out and it was about to rain. Grey clouds, for such a grey time in this life. My eyes wondered to the ground thinking about what my mother had said, 'Care for no one.' Maybe I wouldn't be in this situation.

"Count dirty Jew!" The SS's voice roared loudly.

I could hear the leather, the squeak of the leather against his glove. "zieh Ihr das Hemd aus.!" I knew that, it meant, shirt off. They want me to take off my shirt? I felt four hands grabbing my prisoner shirt, pulling it off roughly and throwing it in the dark grey mud.

I felt tears well up, and a bundle in my throat, the first sign of a sob. I couldn't let them see me cry, I mustn't. My hands were pulled around the poll, and tied, so tight, I could not feel them at all anymore. My bare back revealed to this Nazi.

With a loud crack, my back broke out in a painful sting. I cried out a bloody cry and closed my eyes, feeling the pain.

"Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be frightened, for I am your God." My lips spit out the words along with sobs. Prayers that I had learned when I was little, back in Poland. "One." I counted feeling nothing else.

"Count in German!" I heard the man speak and hit me again. "Start over!" he cried out and I looked up to the heavens, what have I done to deserve this cruelty. counting in German, to feel this pain on my back.

"Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be frightened, for I am your God." my sobs blocked out the prayer, for if they heard the prayer in Hebrew I'd be dead. "Ein!" I cried again louder this time.

Crack, drip.

"God full of mercy who dwells on high." my head hung in defeat, trying to hurry the prayer The pain, it's unbearable, how did he expect me to go through fifty lashes with this. "Zwei!"

Crack, drip.

"Grant perfect rest on the wings of Your Divine Presence." The full prayer will be said throughout the whipping, even if they hear me. "Drei!"

About forty seven cracks later, I felt almost dead, the prayer was over, and I knew my back was covered in blood. The white bones in my back rang with pain. My spine for all to view , because I could see it in the mud. The restraints around my wrists were left and I was still hanging there. I had been left to die, for stealing five wood logs for sick people, lord above, please help me, deliver us.

"It's okay, I grabbed your shirt Maria." I heard behind me, It was Elizabeth!
hearing her sweet voice I started to cry my eyes out. It hurt, so bad. "Elizabeth! I thought you were dead!" I cried out as she helped me to the hospital block.

"I'm not, I was put into hard labor, but I was better. I saw you get whipped, what have you done?" she asked and shook off my shirt, flicking her wrists to get all of the mud and blood off of it.

"I stole wood to heat the hospital block. Now I have a raw back, and the people in the hospital block, they're safe." I said slowly and sat down in front of the the door.

"You helped people, that's all that matters Maria, that's all the matters." the prisoners soon came to let me down by command. as i was brought back down to the ground I thought to myself, this is rock bottom, and there's no where else to go, if God has even forgot about us. Elizabeth motioned for me to lift my arms so I could have my shirt back. I lifted them slightly and cried out in pain. my raw back was preventing me from moving at all. soon everyone was helping me slip on my shirt and were helping me to walk back to the hospital block.

"Why are you doing this?" I looked at the bunk before me, it had hay all over it, a blanket. so my back could heal in no time, my mind and eyes went to the blanket, she must have given up rations for a whole week to get that blanket.

"You helped me when I almost died, now I'm going to help you." Her face showed pain, how could a person, treat another person like this. A good person, was it like this everywhere? In America? In Russia? why were there tall grey buildings? Why were there Crematoria? Why would people get whipped for no good reason? The bunks were hard, but when you add hay, it can be pleasant.

I sat down on the cushion and slowly rolled back, my back hitting the blanket made me flinch, we had nothing to wrap it with, that was clean. the mud and blood on my shirt was touching the wound, so it would most likely become infected. Dying of infection was common here in Auschwitz Birkenau. The SS or gas chambers would kill you faster, you will be burned and dumped into a crevasse of ashes. No matter what you do, it will eventually come. Death. I was left there with nothing but my thoughts and Elizabeth to help me. The light was slowly turned to darkness as i lay there, just watching the other prisoners.

Their lives, seeming meaningless, the stench, the blood, the Nazis. Who would help them in this apocalypse. Surely not God, I cried out for him, upon my lashes and still, he did not help me. I am now, giving up, giving up on having a life that was gifted to me by the great and holy God.

"Maria, we're gonna get you better."she said and tried to pull me up, the night always gave us cover. To move or to get things we needed. Lifting me wasn't really as task, but for her I probably weighed one hundred pounds. I'm so skinny that you can see my bones, my ribs, my hips. "Sleep maria." I heard softly, yes; I want to sleep, forever. I want to sleep forever and not know this sure pain anymore, I want to see my mother and areil again, my father, my old friends.