All Time Low Oneshots

Some Kind of Disaster

A/N - Hot damn, this was fun to write. Suggestion from the prompt list from @robinrunsfiction on tumblr. And! My first Alex fic. Whatta guy. (The goats are not relevant, but I just love this man and his goats)

Being woken up at three in the morning by mysterious sounds in your backyard was never a great thing. The thought that someone was breaking into my house was in the forefront of my mind as I peeked through the blinds, my heart racing as I tried to be discreet in case whoever it was saw me. What if someone was trying to break in? What was I going to do then? Where was my phone? Did I have time to call the cops? But my worries were quickly turned into confusion because there, stood in my backyard, was a random guy, patting my dog. I watched him for a solid minute trying to work out what he was doing. Judging by the squashed shrub in the corner, it looked like he had hopped the fence for whatever reason. He was wearing a hoodie, to hide his face, possibly? So maybe he was trying to break in? But he was making no moves towards any windows or doors..? He just seemed entirely infatuated by Jake. This was weird. This was not at all how I expected my Saturday night to go. After a few more minutes passed and this guy didn't seem to have any malicious intent, I made my way downstairs to work out what the fuck was going on.

I stepped out onto the back lawn, keeping close to the door in case I needed to make a break for it and lock this guy out. But he didn't even seem to notice me, I could just hear him making weird noises at Jake. Who, for the record, was being an awful guard dog. Apparently, he was a fucking pushover as soon as someone gave him ear scratches.

"What the hell are you doing?" I called out, finally getting this man's attention. He looked up at me in surprise, his blonde fringe falling into his eyes before giving me a goofy smile.

"I love golden retrievers." Was the answer that tumbled out of his mouth.

"I can see that." I nodded with a frown.

"Dogs are so great." He mumbled as he kneeled down in front of Jake, who was more than happy to keep receiving this attention.

"Why are you in my backyard?" I asked, taking a few apprehensive steps forward.

"What's its name?" He questioned, opting to completely ignore me.

"Jake." I answered.

For all intents and purposes, this guy seemed pretty innocent in his intentions as he now repeatedly said my dog's name (who just wagged his tail every time). The closer I got to him, the more I saw his slight wobble as he was trying to keep his balance. Ah. He was drunk. This suddenly made much more sense.

"Dude," I started, placing a hand tentatively down on his shoulder. He looked up at me, with a doe-eyed look in his brown eyes. "why are you in my backyard?" I asked again in a softer voice.

"I-" He hiccupped quietly, "I was trying to take a shortcut and I think I got lost." He frowned, scratching at his beard as he seemed to be racking his brain for an explanation.

"Shortcut to where?"

"Uh, my place." He answered. "Or maybe an uber. Or a bus." He continued, then seemed to get distracted as Jake shoved his nose back into his hand.

"Do you want me to call you a taxi?" I offered.

"Do you have to?" He pouted. "I wanna keep patting this guy." He whined as he wrapped an arm around Jake's shoulder and pressed their heads together.

I had to admit, the sight was pretty adorable. Jake seemed incredibly stoked about this turn of events, and was staring up at me with a complete look of contentment. This random drunken man was also looking pretty cute with his face pressed up against my dog's. I supposed this situation could've been much worse. There were a lot more awful things than having an attractive guy in your backyard fawning over your dog. I couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.