Yours but not mine

wish I met you sooner

It's been four months, you're doing great with her.
The soil feels drier ,the flower petals were leaving its on home when the bugs started ruining the plants.
My happiness,my own happiness,the happiness that I sacrificed for the one that I love, it sank.It continue to sank deeper down the dark sea where no one knows what's at the end.

The thought of leaving you once confront me ,but it ran away once you make me smile with those words and promises. Did I really need to fight for this love?Did fighting for the true one is this hard? Why can't I be with someone without being hurt?
Like oyster, there's a pearl inside,like you, spoil me with those sweet words.
Like the wave,you came to me and splash all of the love,joys,laughter,then gone when the sea is calling for you.

I've been fighting alone  all this time.The wounds,the pain,the scars  are loyal to me.They never leave me once,but continue to stay by my side.Eveytime the tears fell off,you came and wipe it for me.You came and gave me hope.I thought if I fought harder,then one day you'll be mine.I thought,if I fought silently,there will be sounds of joy.I thought,If I don't give up,there will be hope.
if only I met you sooner, then things will be more easier.

Hey,mya.

Hmm?

How are you?

I'm, I'm doin' great actually.How bout you?

Well,as you see. I'm doing quite great .

Oh,I see.

Yea,well..Do you mind if I bring back this topic?

What do you mean?

about us I guess?

Oh, what's with us?

Do you still believe the faith between us?

What do you mean?I don't understand.

It's been quite awhile since I've been in relationship.

So..?

Are you not tired of still waiting for me?I mean, you could give up anytime whenever you want to.As you see, it's not like we're gonna break up soon.So mya,why don't we take a break ?

What do you mean we take a break steve?You want me to forget you? Or you want to give up on us?

Mya, it's not like you think.

What? Steve,after all.after all we gone through together,you want to give up on us?When you said you wanna get into relationship,Yes I'm very pissed, disappointed,sad.But did I say anything?Did I stop you from dating her?No Steve,no.Beside,i cheers for you,I hope the best for you.All this time,I was fighting alone,alone steve alone.Did my sacrifice ever flashed into your mind?Even once,did it ever?Up till this day,I don't even know what's the reason.You hurt me continuesly,but I still love you.
I..

Mya!could you please listen to my words?

Listen what!?Today,you ask me to listen to your words.But did you ever listen to my words before?When I was trembling,when I couldn't get myself together.Did you ever,listen to me?Did you even know what I was going through this whole time? anxiety, depression, disappoinment,I was fighting with them alone! Alone steve.It was tough,but I keep fighting.for whom? For you steve,even though I know,my sacrifice wasn't enough,but I still keep fighting.I though,if I fought that hard,you will see me.You will realize,that I'll do anything for you.But look what we got today?You without even a single shame.After you torn  me being with that girl.You dare to ask me forget you?If you were a true man, You'll ask that way before you fall in love with that girl.If you think for my behalf,You wouldn't let yourself fall in love with another girl other than me steve.

Mya,hey, I'm sorry.really, I'm so stupid for ever letting you go through this all alone. That's why I want you to find another guy. Who will appreciate you way better than me. Cause you know? I can't take care of two hearts at the same time. I dont have the ability to do that.

What? Are you joking right now?
How come you say that?Steve,how come I didn't saw that side of you.Since when I become so stupid.

You are not stupid.Mya it's not your fault.Its just we met each other at the wrong time.

Steve,meeting each other it's not about time,meeting each other it's not about whether you met a good person or not .Its about how you gonna make this meeting work. How you value a person no matter whether he or she is good or bad.There's nothing such as meeting with a person at a wrong time.

Yes there is.

Oh,so you say there are  such thing right? You mean,meeting with me is a mistake?

No but yes.

Steve!

What?did you tell me to also being honest?

I did,but can you

Mya,enough.Stop fighting for me. You can't change anything. Our time is up.we can't continue this futher. I'm sorry mya.Im sorry because you had to met someone like me.You deserve someone better than me.

Stop steve.I don't wanna hear those sweet words from you anymore.Yes,what you said is true.I deserve someone that is better than you.Someone who will appreciate my effort,love,someone who will always be honest no matter whether the truth is painful  or not. Someone that I can love and trust without worrying he'll fall in love with other girl.Yea,You are right.I really deserve someone way more better than you Steve.