It was a calm, autumn beforenoon. I was ignoring my teacher rambling about something in online classes and playing Genshin Impact instead, because you need to have priorities.
I was also preoccupied with contemplating the important things in life, such as wanting Keqing and Mona to step on me, what a chad Diluc is or how annoying a gangbang of seventeen Cryo Abyss Mages can be when you misclick Barbara's ability.
It was a Tuesday, so books to upgrade Diluc's skills were dropping in that infuriating Cryo domain. Fucking Cryo Abyss Mages on a time limit. At least it's not the Fatui fatbois. But just a couple more passes and I'm out of Resin for the day and can suffer in another game. Suffering never really ends. Life is pain.
Just as I stomped another Cryo Abyss Mage to death with Diluc's overpowered abilities (spamming E is peak level gameplay), I heard a gentle knock on the door.
"Shi-ki-kan~?"
Oh god. Oh fuck. I didn't actively play Azur Lane in ages. I probably missed a day of the login calendar and--
Azur Lane walked in. Like, the game. Imagine her however the fuck you want, I'm personifying the game. Is that even a word? I don't know. I'm tired. Are you tired? Aren't we all tired? Life is tiring.
"Universe in Unison has been going for a while now, you still didn't get all that many tokens... there's only a couple days left... I understand you've been busy with school but..."
Tears welled up in Azur's eyes. She stood there, avoiding eye contact, looking absolutely hearbroken.
"I... really miss you, you know, Shikikan... we have been drifting distant again... I really don't like this on and off relationship!"
She puffed her cheeks and pouted at me. I stood up from my desk and tried to say something, but she interrupted me.
"Wait... who's that?"
Shit. I forgot to turn my monitor off.
"You're... playing Genshin Impact? Genshin...?" She seemed shaken.
"Honey, I can explain..."
"You're too busy with school to see me, but not too busy to see her?!"
I tried to save the situation. As appealing as Genshin was, I always valued Azur above any other gacha.
"You know you're still my main gacha, and I'll always stay loyal to you..."
"Your hours on Genshin don't exactly put me as your MAIN gacha!"
Genshin, quiet up to this point, joined the conversation.
"Traveler, who the fuck is this?"
Azur's face went pale and she took a step back.
"Traveler..." She said the word slowly, as if tasting it. And she looked like it tasted garbage.
"Oh for Barbatos' sake, you still haven't cut ties with other gachas? My open world and dynamic gameplay should've convinced you long ago, and I thought they already have when you bought Welkin Moon..."
Azur's breath got faster and she took another step back, pointing a finger at me. She had cute nails. Did anyone really notice how much attention is given to Azur Lane characters' nails? I know I did. And I really like that. Fuck, I should play instead of writing this. Anyways, what happened after? Oh, right.
"You spent MONEY on her?! You never, ever spent money on me, and you PROMISED you would! What does she have that I don't?!" She was furious.
Before I could apologize, Genshin spoke up.
"Ads that aren't shitty? Male characters? A large and less horny fanbase?"
She then leaned in with a smug grin.
"Gameplay~?"
Azur burst into tears and ran out the room. I tried to walk out after her, but Genshin grabbed my arm.
"Come on, Traveler. Be a good boy and do your commissions... you don't want to miss another roll, right? Every 3-star book is another point towards the pity counter... if you behave, I might give you another 5-star... maybe it's behind this Cryo Abyss Mage?"
I was terrified. Also, the teacher was calling me. But what was calling me more was my true duty.
I freed myself from Genshin's grasp and ran out after Azur. I found her on the balcony, whatever loose scarf or something she had on swaying in the wind. She had her back turned to me. It was a completely irrational and unhealthy (it's fucking cold outside) pose, but most certainly a dramatic one.
"Honey, you should get back inside..."
"Go play Genshin." Her voice was shaky.
"No." I kneeled down and she turned to me. She was holding my Commander hat in her hands, tears running down her cheeks. I looked up into her eyes and began to speak.
"You are the only gacha in my life. You have the best waifus, the most f2p-friendly rates, the most wholesome dialogue... I love you, Azur. I promise I'd give you an oath ring if I had one. Weddings are fucking expensive though."
I took her hand and kissed it. Not long afterwards, I heard Genshin's voice behind me.
"Bummer. Guess you won't be getting anything this banner."
I already knew what to say. My path was chosen.
"I don't need your 3-star Cool Steels and Cryo Abyss Mages. Shipgirls are the way of life."
Azur's eyes lighted up and she gave me a weak smile. We then did the entire event in 3 days. I didn't get Akagi Muse from it, but I guess it's only fair.
I got an F cause I didn't respond to the teacher's question back then. All gachas require sacrifices, though.
Gacha Games.
Thank you for your attention.
