Partly Sunny (Percy Jackson/Solangelo fanfic)

Regrets

Gods. Mamma. Why did she have to rise to my mind? I take another swig.

"Nico, we should go. You don't need any more alcohol." I glance at my almost empty glass. I could've sworn it was full a minute ago...

"Suzie's waiting for you."

My mind snaps awake.

"Suzie?" I stare at Reyna. She rolls her eyes and tugs my hand.

"Let's leave!"

I wave her away. "Gimme a minute." She scowls at me. "I promise I'll go, just let me finish my drink! Without you hovering over me!" She walks away, but not so far away. I turn back to the counter.

A blonde walks up beside me. Tall, cute, nice bum. It's a guy, obviously.

"Lemon water for me, thanks." He says to the bartender. The he turns.

It's Will.

But I don't hate him, like I should. I miss him. I see now that all the pain and hurt is just fear of a repeat, and he won't do that. He wouldn't do that to me, I know. Somehow, the alcohol has brought me clarity - He won't do that to us again.

I grin stupidly at him as he looks at me unsurely, not knowing whether to expect tears or another slap to the face.

"Hey gorgeous," I say and kiss him forcefully. He goes with it, pulling me out the door. Suddenly we're in his car.

I kiss him more and more, kissing away all the hurt, the pain, and the fear inside me. I kiss away every worry untill all that's left is desire. And then I kiss that away too.

This is wrong, a strange voice in my head says. I ignore it.

A guy loving a guy? What fantasy do you wish you lived in? I pause slightly, then keep kissing him. This is 2015. A guy can love a guy!

I picture the little voice shaking it's head pitifully. You wish. The voice turns angry, deeper, darker, more real.

What sort of a freak are you?! Never mention these notions again! Do you understand me? I pull away from him, horrified.

That voice was mymother, when I was little and had said something about me loving other boys.

Nico! That's weird! The voice is higher now. I scoot away from Will, who is sitting on the seat, breathlessly watching me. I curl up, hugging my knees and closing my eyes. Nico, don't talk about it. It's nothing. Ignore it, and those weird feelings will go away.

Bianca.

You still have those thoughts? Don't say anything about them at this school, Nico. People will think we're weird, and I don't want them to pick on you. An older Bianca, when we were at the school.

I remember fighting with myself after she had died, telling myself how bad I was, what a freak.

And then I'd managed to talk to Bianca, after death, alone. And I'd confessed my feelings for Percy. I rember her words, her actions, everything about her in that moment so vividly.

I love you Nico, she'd whispered. I'd said, more scared this time, that I loved Percy! What was wrong with me? And she'd only smiled the saddest smile I'd ever seen, full of hidden pain and unsharable knowledge. Then she whispered again, I love you Nico. And you are perfect. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. And then she'd been gone.

I stepped out of the car and walked towards Reyna, standing at the bar's entrance. It's like I'm submerged in water - everything is different, angled. I can't hear, and don't care, what anyone says. I wlak up to Reyna and whisper, "Take me home."

She starts to get me to her car, and we head back to Camp Jupiter.

But I want to go home. Not to Camp Jupiter, or Camp Half-Blood, or even back to Venice in Italy.

I want to go back to late summer, 1936, in Venice, when I was only four and life was simpler and happier. Bianca and I would sit at the table, the golden late-afternoon sun casting a glow around the kitchen. Mamma would make us sweet soup and we would sit there, giggling and slurping while Mamma laughed and the glow faded.

Staring out of the window, the afternoon sun casts a disturbingly similar glow to the summer days in Italy. Quietly, through the haze and the memories, I whisper to myself, "Voglio andare a casa."

I want to go home.

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Heyo!

By the way, for all you non-italian speaking people, "voglio andare a casa" means "I want to go home" in italian. DON'T HATE ME ANY ITALIAN SPEAKING PEOPLE THAT'S JUST WHAT GOOGLE SAID I'M SORRY IF THAT'S NOT TOTALLY CORRECT!!! Anywho, thanks for reading this chapter! I appreciate each and every reader who actually reads my little notes, because I'm almost positive some people skip the bolded stuff at the beginning and end of each chapter and just read the actual story. So thanks, people who read this!

I was thinking... all these things when I'm like "sorry it took me a long time to update, yada yada yada!" for people who are just now discovering it, all these chapters are already here. So future readers who read this after I've already updated a bunch (if that's you by the way, hi, and lemme know how the future is) all these things that say "sorry I haven't updated" are meaningless and pointless!

Anyway, that's my rant about life. Have a great day, weekend, Friday night, WHATEVER DAY OF THE WEEK IT IS FOR YOU PEEPS IN OTHER TIMEZONES but for me, it's a Friday night. On Wattpad. All night. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAA!

Love you all, and have a great day/evening! I will honestly try to update soon, but comments are always encouuraging... :)

Thanks for Reading1
<3 Lunie