Powerless

Epilogue

You count the mini candy bar wrappers, shaking your head  and looking at your husband disapprovingly. He looks like a deer in headlights, shrugging as your daughter happily nibbles on a mini Twix bar. Since the day she was born, Millie has had Spencer wrapped around her little finger. 

It's adorable most of the time. Heartwarming and smile-inducing to watch the complex man you fell in love with all these years ago sitting on the floor, crossed legged in a tiara and feather boa, hosting a tea party attended by several stuffed animals. It makes your heart soar that your daughter gets to grow up with a father who's the complete antithesis to yours. She deserves that. 

Other times, like at 3 pm on the Friday before Halloween, it's not so adorable. You groan at the thought of her impending sugar crash, especially because you're almost certain Dave Rossi will have a massive bowl of candy at his Halloween party. And you're definitely certain that Penelope Garcia will spend the evening sneaking candy to the kiddos of the BAU.

"I'm sorry," he laughs to himself, smiling down at your happy toddler. "I'll deal with the sugar high when it hits her." 

"You better," you respond with a genuine grin on your face, shaking your head as you saunter out of the kitchen, leaving Spencer to deal with the inevitable tantrum that will occur when he cuts a two year old's candy supply off. "I'm going to get Ezra up so we can get the kiddos ready to go soon. "Savannah wants us there on time so we can get pictures of the kids before the meltdowns begin." 

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"I feel ridiculous," Spencer murmurs under his breath, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes as you wait with your little family on the front steps. At Millie's request, your crew had opted for the Frozen theme this Halloween, and he was Kristoff. Chuckling in your Anna costume, you playfully poke at his side. 

"Just be lucky I didn't make you wear the tights," you tease. "Besides, the fur vest suits you." 

As he begins to respond with an undoubtedly biting yet witty comment, the door swings open. 

"Hello! Hello!" Rossi bellows excitedly, a grin on his face revealing the cheap dollar-store fangs he bought to make the kids giggle. His cape flows behind him as he moves to welcome you into the foyer, a warm smile on his face as he pats Spencer's back. "Millie, are you ready to trick-or-treat tonight?" 

"She's been talking about it all day," you laugh as your toddler nods shyly, clinging to your leg. You adjust the crown of her Princess Elsa costume, patting her back urging her to answer. "Thank you so much for letting us come here, Dave. This is perfect." 

As the BAU family grew, breaking from previous traditions Rossi decided to host an earlier party this year, even inviting the kids to trick-or-treat in his impressively sized neighborhood. For the Reid kiddos, this didn't matter as much, but Jack and Henry apparently haven't stopped talking about the possibility of full sized candy bars all week. 

"Of course," he guides you in toward the rest of the group. You smile as Morgan's son Hank runs excitedly toward Millie, the two tots embracing and admiring each other's costumes. Savannah sits in the corner holding her third-trimester belly, engaged in a conversation with team newcomer Tara Lewis about 90's music. Rossi pinches baby Ezra's cheeks, causing the 6-month old to giggle and further lean into his dad's shoulder. "And isn't this the cutest little snowman I've ever seen!" 

"He's Olaf," your daughter says matter-of-factly, earning a laugh from the room. As she goes to continue, the unmistakable clacking of heels interrupts her, a shriek leaving her mouth as she runs toward the foyer. "AUNTIE NELLAPEE!" 

Spencer chuckles to himself at the nickname, a good effort from your highly verbal tot, who clearly takes after her father in the intelligence department. Penelope holds out her arms, excitedly picking up Millie and Hank as he follows, swinging the giggling children around. 

"Why hello my pumpkin pies!" she says animatedly. Luke follows behind, high-fiving the ecstatic toddlers as he scoots behind his fiancee. "Who's ready to trick-or-treat?!" 

"We still have another hour!" Hotch chimes in with a grin, earning a classic pre-teen glare from Jack. He greets your daughter, who is preoccupied with whatever bag of wonder Garcia brought along, hugging you and Spencer before turning his attention to the smiling baby in your husband's arms. "He's gotten so big since I last saw him! How is he sleeping?"

"Actually not bad," you respond honestly. In comparison to your firstborn, who shared a lot of the same rigid, curious, and genius tendencies as Spencer - Ezra was an easy baby.  He goes with the flow, taking after you. "He's only up once a night, sometimes not at all." 

"Oh good," JJ and Emily both approach, the blonde's arms reaching out for the infant. He goes to her happily, giggling as she bounces him on her hip. Emily smiles softly. "That means you can come back soon." 

"I want to," you nod, the sentiment genuine. "I just need another month or so." 

After a lot of hemming and hawing after Millie was born, much of which was influenced by the newfound maternal instincts that you had initially doubted would come to you, the bureau helped make you feel better about returning to work. You and Spencer would never be in the field, or at least the riskier parts of it, at the same time. 

It worked, too. You were able to get back out there and kick-ass at your job while not carrying the constant worry that your child would experience the loneliness that you felt of not having parents. You just need a few more months to enjoy the precious early years uninterrupted by the heinous crimes you'd see at work. 

"You seem happy," JJ notes, cooing at your babbling infant in her arms. You lean into Spencer, wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up with love in your eyes. "You both do."

"I'm happier than I've ever been," Spencer kisses the top of your head, glancing over at your daughter playing happily with her "cousin" Hank. "I never thought I'd say this, but being hunted by a serial killer wound up being the best thing to ever happen to me." 

"Me too," you smile. As the baby starts to fuss, JJ hands him back to you, the team watching proudly as you and Spencer make faces at your son. "It's nice to have a family." 

"You've got a big one, too," Morgan smiles, looking around the room. It's crazy how just 4 years ago you were a lone-wolf inexperienced young agent with commitment issues and a cynical view of love. And now, you're fulfilled in every sense of the word - raising two beautiful children with a husband who you can't picture spending a single day not loving. Not to mention, a team who would give you the shirt off their back in a heartbeat. 

As you soak in the poignant joy present in the air, the smile on your face is big enough that it catches the attention of your hyper-observant daughter, causing her to waddle over in her blue dress that will no doubt have chocolate stains on it by the end of the night. 

"Mommy's excited," she notes, reaching up for Spencer, who happily picks her up. 

"Wait right there," JJ pulls out her phone, a smile on her face. Hotch stands behind her, waving crazily in the background to get the baby to look toward the camera as she snaps a photo, the four of you radiating happiness and love in its purest form. "Now there's a perfect Christmas Card." 

This was life now. Midnight diaper changes and sugar-high meltdowns and the piercing shrieks of toddler excitement echoing through the halls at 7 in the morning. It was Christmas Cards and Sesame Street and smiling to yourself while the man of your dreams rocks a tiara for an impromptu tea party. 

It wasn't always sunshine and rainbows. But doing it with Spencer certainly made it hell of a lot brighter.