A simple task they said, yeah right, for some maybe. The task? You ask. To write a memoir of a time that change your life....
So I must look back down the rabbit hole and pull out a story like I'm a magician with a top hat, wish me luck
I stare into the mirror, the reflection is broken for all I see is a destroyed child's heartless stare looking back, ask the girl in the mirror why. Just why... As my childhood flooded the room around me, '' I'm probably just tired, I'm going to bed' I tell myself as I walk to my bed, and I slowly drift asleep..
I woke up in my mothers bed alone, I had probably slept for about 10 minutes, I was wrapped up in my mothers blankets, I loved her tiger one, it was so soft and big. I sat on her bed looking around (my memory is a little foggy). The room was illuminated by candles and the dim tv light from the next room. All is silent and gloomy. I slowly walk out of my mothers bedroom and into the living room.. The tv was on and my mum had made a bed on the couch. As I stare at her couch bed, bright lights catch my eyes from the windows. Putting shivers down my spine. I stand frozen as a watch the familiar figure walk up to the front door. KNOCK KNOCK " JAZZY?" that makes me run to the couch and hide under the blankets. I'm shaking as the dark figure in the door window gets more violent, the glass was sure going to break, i keep thinking, until the figure walks away.
The room is filled with his trucks high beams, i lay lifeless, not to be seen, not to be heard. Silent. Completely silent. Complete silence.
Until there's noise, I can hear his footsteps walk to the back room. I knew mum was in there. I started to shake from the sound of faint commotion from the back room. I'm scared and crying and shaking. I don't know what to do. Every time he tried to hurt me mum would be there to stop the bruises, she needs me. .. I lose all train of thought for her screams becomes too loud to think.
My thoughts tell me to walk, so I run to the screams leaving my tears behind me. I run into the next room. The kitchen that is. And i slowly touch the door frame and walk into the laundry the door to the back room is shut and roaring at me. I try and try and try b-b-but the door wont open. Its locked. Why is it locked?. I try and try to break the door b-but i can only just reach the door knob. But I can everything... Everything. My mother is screaming and begging for her life, begging for mine, I pound the door screaming for her, I can hear the phone, its the police, I can hear her scream the situation as he is trying to kill her using a metal gate as his weapon, I cant stop. I cant help. And I'm scared. I'm all alone in the laundry. The purple walls feel like they've closed in on me... I don't remember when the police came... I remember holding my mother like i was attached to her.... Not one part of her skin wasn't bruised.....
I wake from this nightmare, well its a memory but i prefer to call it a nightmare. My blood runs cold. Oh so cold. I stumble back to my bathroom where once again the little girl meets me. " why dose daddy not love us?" she asks me. I wash my face in the cold water and take a deep breathe... That night shaped me to who i've now become, after that i grew up quite quickly one might even say...
i know now that he doesnt love me, he never will,
for if he loved me .... he wouldn't of destroyed my childhood for a cheap bottle of vodka. when he doesnt even drink...
so yeah i hope you like this :3 comment if you want to read more!! =D
