the reluctant wife

preparations

  Matt was now engaged. He did not feel like he was engaged. Nothing felt different.  Things were the same between matt and Nicole.  Matt was beginning to doubt all this. He was thinking that maybe he should end the engagement. He did not want to.
Matt and the girls came over to his future in law's home for dinner. "So. I want you guys to be maried this spring. " waren said.
"It's doable. We have a lot of decorations from the last wedding the church held. Nicole's cousin got maried a short while back. Nadia is of a similar build to Nicki.  Nadia thought that the dress could be altered. We can do a nice elegant wedding on the cheap. " sheri said.
Matt was reluctant to set a date.  Her parents were pushing for a spring wedding. The church as a whole was pushing for that as well. Matt felt a lot of pressure.
"So nick. Your parents are pushing for a spring wedding. How do you feel about that? " he asked. "I am ok with that," she answered. "You say you're ok with that but do you want a spring wedding?" He asked. "Yea ok sure. "She replied.
" if you don't want a spring wedding that's fine. I want to know your actual opinion. "He told her. " no I want a spring wedding. "She said. she seemed to be trying to assure him that this what she wanted. He was not convinced whoever. He did not know what to do about it. 
" you sure?" He asked. "Yes I am sure," she said. "Ok. I am thinking late may.", he said. " yea. I could see that. "She said.
He could tell she was not into this. He felt like he should walk away. He felt he should cancel the wedding. He decided to keep going.  " so, I was wondering if you and I and the girls could go see my parents this Saturday. I would like to ask dad to officiate.  I would like you to be with me when I do. "He said. " yes I will go with you. "She answered. " great. Can you bring one of your siblings? I will bribe them with ice cream or a candy bar. "He said. She laughed." I think ash will go with us. If not I can bring Jenna. "She said. He laughed. " ok good. "He said. 
" hey ash," she said to her sister later on. "Oh, what's up?" Ashley asked. "Matt wants me and him and the girls to go see his parents. He is going to ask his dad to officiate the wedding. He wants me to bring a chaperone. Can you come? There is a candy bar involved. " she asked. Ashley chuckled. "Yes, I will come. " Ashley said. "Thanks, ash," she said.    "No problem. " Ashley said.
On Saturday, Matt got the kids ready to go. He made them a light breakfast.then they got ready to go.  They headed for Nicky's house. He pulled in. 
Nicky had got up and had cereal. Ashley got up as well. They were ready to go when the pastor arrived to pick them up.  Nicky wore a blue and black and pink dress with flowery patterns. She wore flip flops.  They come out to the porch as the van pulled in.  He smiled when he saw her. He hoped that he would get a response but he did not. She gave him a half-smile. It seemed forced.
Ashley opened the back door of the van. She got in. She said hello to the girls. They said hello back.
Nicky opened the passenger door of the van. She got in. "Hi, Nick." He said. She did another half-smile. "Hi Matthew," she said. He started driving. He pulled the van out of the driveway. "Off we go!" He said.
Ashley chatted with the girls. The girls talked her ear off but she was fine with that. She was used to that with her siblings. She liked kids. Things did not go as well between matt and Nicole, however. He tried to start up conversations but they went nowhere. This was a fool's errand he thought. This is an exercise in futility. During that car ride, he came close to calling the whole thing off. The funny things were that if he did, her response would probably be "ok.".
He decided that calling off the engagement on the way to his parents was probably not a good idea. If he was going to later, was this little road trip a good idea? They were committed at this point. His parents and siblings were expecting them.  How had this happened he thought he concluded that it was his pride, his selfishness. Now he did not know how to correct all this.
They said little to another during the trip to his parents. It was a boring drive. He enjoyed hearing the kids. He put on k love on the radio. He loved hearing the girls sing along.  They arrived.
He Parked the van.  They got out. The girls were excited to see their grandparents and their aunts and uncles. " grandpa. Nana!" Emi said. age wrapped her arms around her grandparents. "Hey dad. " matt said. he hugged his dad. He hugged his mom. "You must be Nicole!" His mom said. She said yes. "Welcome to the family. " his mom said. "Thank you." She said. She hugged her. He introduced them to her sister.
"How was the drive?" His dad said "it was good. Did not run into any wildlife." He said."thats good. "He said.
They had dinner. His dad barbequed on an outside grill. The girls hung out with their aunts and uncles. After the meal, Matt decided to get to why they had come. " so dad, I would like you to officiate the wedding. "Matt said. " I had a feeling you would ask me. I would love that. I accept. Do you have a date in mind?" He asked." late may. "He responded.
" that's doable. "His dad said.
"I would like to start marriage counseling as soon as possible.  "He said. They both agreed.
Matt found it odd that he would once again on the receiving end of marriage counseling. He had counseled several couples. His dad officiated his first wedding. He had counseled him and leane.  He wondered how this would go. He had concerns.
He worried that during the counseling, his dad might conclude that he could not marry them. Perhaps that was not a bad thing.  Maybe counseling would help things. Maybe they could breach this impasse. Maybe he could get through to her.   He wanted to be her husband. He hoped that he could.
" I don't mind driving up to Morrison. Can you swing Mondays Nicki?" his dad asked. "Monday are fine," she said. "Can we start in two weeks?" His dad asked. They both agreed to that.
Later on, Nicole talked to his dad. "We are so excited for you two. " his mom told her. "Thank you," she said. "Mathew is a good man. He cares for you a great deal. " his mom said. "Yes I can tell that he does," she said. "The last few years have been hard on him. Much harder than he would let on. He tried to be strong for the girls. " his mom said.
"I can't imagine what that was like. He put on a brave front. I hope he won't do that when we are maried. " she said. "Don't let him. " his mom said. "I won't. " Nicole answered. "Good. " his mom said.
After a while, they headed back. "I am so glad you came. They like you," he told her. "I like them too," she said. "I am glad to hear that," he said. The conversation ended. It usually did. They had nothing to talk about or they chose not to. He tried and tried. He felt like he could not go forward with the wedding. He did not want to call it off. He was beginning to think he had no choice.
"So if I were to call it off, should I tell nick or her dad first. Then I have to tell my dad. I have to inform the church. I don't want to embarrass nicky." He told his sister Marissa. "You thinking of ending it?" She asked "she does not want this. She does not love me. I can't make her love me. This is useless. It is futile. She is miserable. How can I force her to do something she does not want to do? I think she thinks she has to. I want her to want this. I am not sure she ever will. I believe I am in love with her but if I make her do this, am I?" He asked.
"I am not saying you should not break it off.  You said that you were in love with her. I have not seen you like this in a long time. You do care about her. I don't know that walking away will solve anything. You're not going to feel any different. Maybe she will come around. " she said.
The two met with his dad in two weeks. "Marriage was instituted by the lot before the fall.  He took a rib from Adam and made the first woman. A man is to leave his mother and father And clever unto his wife. When a young lady is maried, she is part of a new family. This unit is not to be broken until one of the members of this union has died. It is a covenant between the two and the lord. It is not to be made in a rash manner. It is to be carefully considered and prayed over. The bible is clear that divorce is not part of his plan. It is contrary to the word of God. A Pastor cannot be divorced not a deacon. " her dad said.
"Do you both feel that you have carefully prayed over this decision?" She asked. "Yes I do believe that after prayer and considering, I can proceed. " matt said. "I have prayed about it and talked to people I.trust. I believe that this is of the lord," she said. "Good. I believe you have. I think it is important to bring that up. It's ok to need more time. That's good." His dad said.
"I assume you want this to be a Christian marriage. In biblical marriage, both must be believers. Both should be surrendered to the Lord. I would like to hear your testimony. Nicky why don't you go first. " she said.
"My parents were saved not long before I eas born. Neither one grew up in a Christian family. By the time I was born, they had both been baptized. I had no idea until I was older then they were never Christians. We went to church all the time.  They were concerned about myself and my siblings falling away. He stressed the importance of the gospel. He shared the gospel.wherever he could with myself and my siblings. I made a profession of faith when I was six. My parents went over it with me often. I believe I was saved at six, I got serious about the things of the lord a couple of years ago. " she said.
He had heard some of her testimony but never like that. "She said.
" I am glad to hear that you goten serious about your faith. That is great to hear.  "His dad said. he felt like he knew her a lot more after hearing that. 
Next up
Nicky and matt continue to get ready to be maried. Matt continues to be concerned.