the reluctant wife

the picnic

Matt thought that the first date went well. She did not seem overly happy. She was content. He wanted her to be giddy. She was usually a bubbly person. That was something he loved about her. Today she was not as bubbly.
After the meal, he insisted on the desert. She was reluctant but after some convincing, she relented.  They had strawberry this cake. She did like it. He thought she would be playful. He tried but got nothing.  
He paid the bill. She did thank him. "Not a problem. I don't have a lot but what's mine is yours." He said. She kinda perked up. It was a start he thought. 
They left the restaurant. He held the door for her. She thanked him.  She seemed almost uninterested. She seemed resigned to the marriage.it felt like the stages of grief.    The last one she accepted it. He did not want that for them. He was not sure that he could stop that. He did not want her to think of marying him as her Christian duty.
He brought her home. "I had a really good time. You are A very special young lady. " he said."thank you. "She said. It seemed half-hearted. 
They got out of the car. They walked into the home. Her dad opened the door.   They came in. " how did it go?" Her dad asked. "It went very well," Matt said. "I am so. glad" her mom said. They got some more pictures.  "Nikki, give matt a hug!" Her dad said. He could tell that she was unsure about that. She half-heartedly wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back. Then they left.   He said his goodbye.
He felt kind of deflated. It was a lonely ride back home. A c.c.m radio station was playing in the background. He pulled into his home. He parked the car. He got out of the vehicle.     He went inside. Her sisters could tell he was unsettled. He said hello to his kids.
"Did it go ok?" His sister Marissa asked. "It did. Niki just did not seem interested in this.  It felt like a slave who Accepts there fate as a slave. I don't want that. I want her to be happy. I don't want her to feel like marying me is a drudgery.   " matt said.
"Well work with her. Give her time. You can turn her around. It is going to take work. " Marissa said. "I know that," he said. "The question is, how much do you want this?   Are you willing to win her heart and mind?" Alesha asked.
He knew that his sisters we're right. He remembered the relationship he had with his late wife Leah. He wanted that with Nicole.
He had trouble getting to sleep that night.  He was certain she would marry him. He was not sure that she wanted to.  He feared that she would do it out of obligation. He did not want that. As much as he did not want to let her, he did not want a loveless marriage. He did not understand where she was coming from. Warren and sherry were very much in love after over twenty years of marriage. They just had a new baby.  He felt torn.  They had time he supposed. He was afraid to get too attached. He was afraid to get the girls too attached.
His fears did not seem to go away. He did get the sleep that night. He did not see her on Friday. They did comment on each other's social media posts.   
He called her Friday night. "Nikki it's matt." He said."hi mathew. "She said. " do you want to go for a picnic on piper park with me and the girls tomorrow?" He asked. "Sure," she said. "I will pick you up around noon?" He asked. "That would be fine," she answered. "Great. The kids can play in the playground. They love it. " he said. "My siblings like that playground as well," she Admitted. "I will see you then," he said. "You got it." She said. 
He was nervous about introducing the kids to Nicole. If they do end up getting married, he wanted the girls to be involved in all of this.  He was still concerned. 
It was Saturday morning, matt passed out copies of John and Romans in the morning. He came home. He put on a polo shirt and jeans. He got the kids ready to go.
Nicole put on a dark blue t-shirt and denim skirt and black leggings. She had flip flops. She braided her hair into a ponytail. She was ready when the van arrived with the pastor and the girls. She came out. She got into the van. "Hi miss Nicole. " his kids said almost in unison. She smiled. She said hello to them. She was quite smitten with them. 
"Hi, Nicki. How are you?" He asked? "I am a good mathew. How are you?" Did she ask? "I am doing good. I had a good morning. We got some good responses to passing out copies of John and Romans. " he said. "That's really good," she said.
It was a quick drive from her home to the piper park. He parked the van. They got out. She got the two younger girls out. He helped Lindsey get out of the van. She picked up the two younger girls. They walked to a picnic table.   He brought out the sandwiches. He made chicken salad sandwiches.    She bought a desert. They put things on the table. Nicki held Emmi. 
He prayed for the food. Then he distributed the food. He gave a smaller portion to Emmi and Kenzie.  "This is really good," Nicole said. "I am glad you like it," he said. "You cook?" She asked. "A little bit. My dad wanted me and my siblings to learn basic skills. Changing a tire, changing oil,  ironing, simple sewing, and cooking. I know a little bit. Leah and I cooked together. "He said. " I could see that being a good bonding experience. "She said. " it was. "He said. " I am fine with that. The kitchen is my domain.  I am in charge in the kitchen "she declared. He chuckled. " of course. I can agree with that.  "He said. " good. "She said.
There was a hint of playfulness in her tone. He wanted to be playful with her. He suspected that she could be very playful.   He just had to get it out of her.
After the main meal, they had a dessert. She made cheesecake. It was really good. The kids enjoyed it as well. " thank you nicky. That was great. "He told her. " of course.  your welcome mathew." she said. 
They cleaned the table. They packed up trash and the remnants of the food. They put it back into the van.  She pushed EMI in the swings. Then she pushed Kenzi. They looked like a family.  He was beginning to think that maybe this would work out. 
She was really good with the kids.  They really seemed to like her and she them. Lindsey remembered her mom. She had been very close to her mom. She had been her mom's helper even when she was little.   She held on to those memories. She feared losing those memories.
  Kenzie was young when her mom died. She really does not remember her mom. She was close with her aunts on both sides of the family. He wanted her to have a motherly figure in her life. 
Emi was only three months old when her mom died. She has no memory of her. Not having a mom seemed normal to her. He wanted her to have a mother in her life. Nicole seemed to like her.   She liked Nicole too. 
After a while, they played on the slide. "They are adorable." She said. "I could not have gotten through without them," he said. "I can see that.  I would like to home school them," she said. "Of course I would love that," he said.   "I can't do everything but I would like to select the circlelum. I like Bob Jones's material." She said. "I do as well," he admitted.
"Would I have the freedom to supervise the education of the kids?" She asked." of course.  You are very smart and organized. "He said.  " excellent. I teach some classes for my siblings. I help mom with the lesson plans." she said. "That's awesome. I am not surprised.  You are an asset to your family and to the church. I know you will be for our family as well." He told her.  "I will endeavor to be," she said.
He could not put his finger on it but something was off with how she said it. They were having a good day but something happened. When he thought about it,  he realized that it was not as good as it seemed. She did like the girls. He was not so sure that she liked him.  It seemed more like she was doing this just to become a stepmom or to become a teacher.  
After a while, they decided it was time to head back. The little ones were getting tired. They packed everything up. They put things back in the van. They loaded the girls into the van. "I had a good day today." He told her. "I did too," she said.
They pulled in to the parking lot. She hugged and kissed the girls. She simply said goodbye to matt. The signs were there. They had matt worried.
She went inside. "How did it go?" Her dad asked. "It went really good. It was a lot of fun. " she said."i am so glad to hear that. "Her mom said. 
He drove the girls home. He put the kids down for a nap. He laid down on the couch. He pondered what had happened during the day. It was weird, his view of her was changing. He found he cared about her more and more. He felt more protective of her. It did not seem that way with her. She seemed to accept it but in the way, someone accepts a cancer diagnosis.   He was not sure what to do.
He called his sister.  " how was the picnic?" She asked. "It went fine. " he answered."just fine?" Marissa asked. "I don't know, it was a lot of fun. It seemed to be going well. Then she said and did things that made me think she is not really into this." He said.
"What are you going to do?" Marissa asked."i don't know yet. I am going to give it some thought. "He said." Oh ok. Don't give up on her. She might just need time. This is a big step for her. She might just need to process everything. She may come around in time. "She told him. He hoped that she was right. He knew that he did not want to give up on her. He thought that this could be a rally good thing.
He looked on his social media page. He saw the picture of him and nicky. They looked really happy. He knew what really happened. He considered making it his profile pic but he did not want to remember this picture. It was a painful reminder of what was really going on. She had not changed her profile pic. They had not tagged each other as being in a relationship.as a test, he tagged her as being in a relationship to see how she would react. She did accept it.
Next up
Matt continues to see trouble signs in there relationship.  He is not sure what to do.