Notes (Jenlisa)

Chapter 6

"Ruby Jane?" Jenni cursed under her breath, leaving Lisa very confused. "Yes, dad?" She shouted back. Her dad came out of the living room and was faced with the two girls. Jennie was nervous as hell, whereas Lisa was still left in the blue. Jennie's fathers facial expression hardened as he noticed Lisa. He turned to his daughter.

"geunyeoneun nugu-inga?" He asked his daughter who Lisa was. Jennie was just about to answer when she was interrupted.

"naneun lisa. I'm a friend of Jennie's." She answered, surprising both of them. She smiled and extended her hand to shake Jiyong's. He just looked at it and crossed his arms. Okay awkward. Lisa slowly put her hand in her back pocket and mumbled an 'okay' to herself. Jennie shook her head slowly in shame and discomfort and spoke up.

"We are going upstairs, now. We'll talk later, dad." She said quickly in the process of dragging Lisa up the stairs.

"Yes, we will!" Jiyong shouted after her. Jennie sat on her bed, once in her room and fell back on it, sighing.

"What was that all about?" Lisa asked as she took in the size, tidiness and atmosphere of Jennie's room. It felt so, at home. There was a side of her room with a shelf filled with books and various Disney movies and Lisa laughed to herself. There was also a side with a keyboard and a guitar. She wondered if Jennie could play them, but she would ask later. First she wanted clarity on the tension just now. She joined Jennie on her large bed and looked down at her expectantly. Jennie slowly sat back up and sighed again.

"My father.. He's just.." The girl couldn't find the words. Lisa noticed the sadness in the other girls voice and put her arm around her. Jennie smiled weakly and found courage to go on.

"Ever since I came out, my relationship with him hasn't really been the same." She sighed again. She felt her eyes fill up, but she didn't want to cry in front of the older girl.

"It just... It's not like he's against my being gay, or hates me. He loves me, I know he does but I can just see it in his face whenever I try to talk about it...he's dissapointed." A sob escaped her lips at the end and she couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears started flowing down her face and Lisa pulled her closer and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Whenever I talk about a girl, friend or not, he gets so pissed. I can't even bring my friends over without him giving me that look. That look like I'm a shame to the family." She looked up and met Lisa's eyes that were now watery as well. "And I can't change who I am Lisa, I can't. But he gives me that look, that feeling that I should..." She trailed off at the end because the sobs became too heavy to speak. Lisa lifted her hand to Jennie's cheek and caressed it, softly. So tenderly, that it even scared her. She had never been so careful with anything or anyone for that matter, but she couldn't imagine otherwise with Jennie.

"You don't have to, Jen." The name escaped her lips like she had never spoke otherwise and shocked her a bit but it seemed fitting for the situation. "You never should." Was all she said before she pulled Jennie towards her completely in a hug. They sat like that for a while, till Jennie's sobbing and shaking died down. For Lisa that had been the closest she had been to a person in an actual intimate level before, the only time she cared for the person anyway and that moment between them gave her so much clarity. They let go of each other and sat in silence for a while.

"Thank you," they both began saying at the same time. They laughed and Lisa spoke up. "Let me." She put her hand on Jennie's leg full of affection and care. "Thank you for sharing this with me. Believe me, I know how hard it is to have family problems." She sighed deeply. "And you're very brave for sharing, thank you for letting me being a person you shared this with."

Jennie smiled and laughed lightly. "And thank you for listening, Lisa." There was a moment of silence, filled with tension. Both of them looking into each others, fascinated by eachother. Jennie gazed shifted to Lisa's lips and back to her eyes that were still fixed on the younger girl.

"Let's talk happy stuff, yeah?" Lisa chuckled lightly and so did Jennie. Lisa looked around and focused on the keyboard, pointing at them she asked, "You play?"

Jennie used the back of her hand to wipe away any tear still left on her face and spoke up, her voice steadier than before. "No, but I've been trying to play though. I do play guitar."

Lisa walked over to the keyboard and couldn't believe what she was about to ask next.

"May I?" She asked. Her ability to play piano and sing was something she mostly kept to herself. Nobody except Jisoo knew, but that was only because she walked in on her playing once. For some reason, she wanted to share it with Jennie though. Jennie nodded quickly.

"Yes, ofcourse. Go ahead." She said filled with excitement. Lisa giggled and sat down in front of the instrument. She played around with it before she actually started to play. Jennie recognised the melody as Swim Good by Frank Ocean, but she didn't really know the song well. Her mouth fell open when Lisa started singing.

"that's a pretty big trunk
on my Lincoln town car ain't it?
big enough to take these broken hearts
and put em in it..
now I'm driving round
on the boulevard trunk bleeding,
and every time the cops pull me over
they don't ever see them.
they never see them.
and I've got this black suit on,
roaming around like I'm ready for a funeral.
5 more miles till the road runs out.
I'm about to drive in the ocean.
imma try to swim from something
bigger than me.
kick off my shoes,
and swim good
and swim good.
take off this suit,
and swim good
and swim good
good."

"Wow." was all Jennie could say. Lisa's cheeks were flustered and she smiled. "Lisa, that was so...wow."

"Thanks, I guess." Lisa laughed. She sat back down on the bed next to Jennie and smiled, "It was okay."

"Lisa, okay is like a small grain of sand. You were the whole freaking beach." Jennie used hand motions as emphasis. Lisa laughed now wholeheartedly while throwing her head back. Jennie's heart fluttered, fixated on Lisa's beautiful laugh and she wanted to set 'making Lisa laugh' as a daily goal. The world had to blessed with the sound of it.

"You know, it's your turn now." Lisa smirked and motioned to the guitar and looked back at Jennie.
Jennie shook her head and laughed.

"Well, I could never top that. Maybe next time."

"Oh, so there is a next time?" Lisa raised her eyebrow and smirked.

"For you, yeah. There will definitely be a next time." Jennie said softly. There was that tension again.

"Good." Lisa softly whispered, and then smiled warmly at Jennie.