Falling into Hope [GxG]

Chapter 13

"Do I really have to go through with this?"Seeing the same look on her face from earlier, I already knew the answer.

"Yes, yes, you do. Come on now. I don't want us to be late." My mood started deflating even more as I got in the care, and we were driving off.

"So, your new friend, Hope, she seems like a nice person." I rolled my eyes at this.

"I don't want to make small talk with you, mom, but yeah, she is." At that moment, I turned up the music in the car and put my forehead on the cold glass of the window. Shutting my eyes, trying to drown everything out around me and inside of me.

I woke up to my mom, slightly shaking my shoulder.

"Hey, there, sleepyhead. We're here." I nodded my head and gingerly made my way out of the car, as I was still so tired and didn't want to fall on my face.

We went inside a relatively big building and went up to the third floor. My mom led me to a room down the hallway on the left. The room was pretty open, neutral colors, and a couple of different offices. We made our way over to the receptionist.

"Hi, we're the Bennets. We're here to see Dr. Riley." The receptionist gave my mom and me a bright, friendly smile.

"Of course! Go ahead and take a seat; she'll be with you soon." We made our way over to the seats. They were a lot comfier than I had anticipated. There's a lot of magazines ranging for every age. Not too long later, I heard a soft click and snapped my eyes up to see a beautiful woman with big kind brown eyes. She locked in on me and smiled.

"Ms. Bennet, I can see you now." She had a very calming voice, but it did nothing to ease my nerves. My body feels all weird right now, and standing up feels like the hardest thing in the world right now. I struggled but ultimately got up and cautiously followed her into her office.

"Hello there, go ahead and sit wherever you will feel most comfortable." I found a seat on a chair by the window. I felt less claustrophobic there. She sat kind of parallel to me but still facing me.

"I'm Dr. Riley, but you can just call me Nancy. Your mom has talked to me about your situation, but I would rather hear it from you." She broke the silence first. I'm sure she could sense my nerves. I stayed silent. I honestly don't know what to say, nor do I really want to say anything.

"I know you're uncomfortable, and by the way, your mom was talking, and how you're acting right now, I can tell you don't want to be here. I get that you're not ready to talk. So, I'll say what your mom has told me so far, and you just nod or shake your head to signal if she got it right. Okay?" I just nodded my head, yes to her.

"She said that you were in a traumatic car crash with your best friend. You survived, and she didn't." She paused, and again I just nodded my head.

"She stated that you've been having severe nightmares, mood swings, you are isolating, and seem very depressed. She says you seem a shell of yourself. Do you agree?" I nodded and shook my head. Some of it I agreed with, while other parts no.

"Some of it I agree with." She quirked her eyebrow at me.

"What parts?" I sighed and shook my head.

"Just the nightmares and I guess I have been isolating, but I'm fine." She just hummed at my comment and wrote something down.

"I'm truly fine. I don't need therapy." I assured her.

"Are you trying to convince yourself or me?" This question took me back a bit. I went to respond, but I honestly couldn't think of a response. I just stayed silent the rest of the session, completely disassociated and not listening to a thing she said afterward. I finally came back to reality towards the end.

"Well, that's all the time we have left today. I hope I see you soon, and you can answer the last question I believe you heard me say before you tuned out. Just a refresher, are you trying to convince yourself or me that you're truly fine?" After she said that, she got up as I did and led me to the door. I walked out to find my mom on the phone. She looked my way and signaled for me to come on. It must be a business call. I looked back to see a pensive look on her face as she looked at me.

Soon we were back in the car and headed home. I couldn't wait to see Hope.

Once we got home, my mom shut off the car but didn't make a move to get out yet. I heard her take a deep breath before she turned to look at me and what I saw broke me. I saw the tears pooling in her eyes and her trying not to let them find their way down her cheeks.

"Thank you for going; I know you didn't want to. I know forcing you wasn't the best move, but your dad and I are just so scared. We lived that day, but we still lost you, and we don't want to lose you forever. We love you." I saw a couple of tears finally break free from her eyes, and I felt mine make their way down as well.

"I'm sorry. The last thing I want to do is worry you both." She shook her head at me.

"Don't be sorry, sweetie. Just please fight. Fight to be here with us, fight to become yourself again, whoever that may be now." We gave each other a small hug and wiped our tears before we went back inside.