Amrita

Always Will

For as long as I could remember, Hia had always been beside me. His family lived a few houses down from mine and for some reason, he had taken a liking to taking care of me even though he already had siblings and cousins of his own to look after. I was always grateful to have someone other than my parents to rely on, but there was one thing in particular that drew me closer to him. 

Hia saved me that day. God knows I wouldn’t be here if he didn’t rescue me from the riptide. After the incident, I became so afraid of the water but he didn’t allow my phobia to be my kryptonite. He forced me to learn how to swim, telling me that it was the only way to make sure that it would never happen again. Every day for two months, he would take me to the beach and force me to get comfortable in the water. He taught my arms and legs to be strong enough to swim against currents. He taught my lungs to keep me alive even when I was underwater for a long time. Hia became my best friend, and more. 

The day he told me he loved me more than a brother, I was so scared. Not because I didn’t feel the same way, but because I knew that a love like ours would never find a place here. He promised to keep me safe and protect me like he always had, and I believed him with my whole heart. There’s no one I trust more, no one I could ever love as much as I loved him. But in my heart of hearts I always wished that we could transcend space and time so that we could be together freely. Being found out was a matter of life and death and Hia did all he could to protect us. 

That’s why it took me a while to tell him about my eyesight. I knew that he would never accept something as bad as this to happen to me. The thing is, there’s nothing much to do about me losing my vision. I didn’t want him to get frustrated because of me. I had already put him through enough.

When he came back that day and told me he found a solution to my cataracts, I wasn’t that surprised. 

“What is it?” I ask, recoiling at the scent of the clear liquid in the vial he handed to me. It smelled like the ocean but ten times more potent, as if all the salt in the world was used up in making it.

“I got it from the witch doctor from the next village. She said it can cure any kind of illness. It won’t hurt to try, right?”

“I don’t know…”

I’m always willing to try something once, but not when it came to something so unnerving. It wasn’t just the smell of the potion, but the feeling it gave me. Nothing had filled me with this much dread before. 

“You don’t have to drink much,” Hia says, reassuringly, his bright eyes making me feel guilty about my misgivings. “A couple of drops is enough.”

“Hia, thank you for going through all that trouble… I appreciate it, really,” I say, as calmly and softly as I possibly could. “But I don’t feel right about taking it.”

I wished so hard that I could return his enthusiasm. The town he went to was miles away, and I’m sure that he went through hell to get there and back. I almost felt bad that he was pinning his hopes on this nasty concoction, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he had been duped. 

“Please, just try it,” he begs. “If it doesn’t work, then we’re back to where we started, that’s all. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Everything in my body was screaming at me not to go through with it, but I knew that the look in Hia’s eyes would haunt my dreams if I didn’t give in. He was so desperate to help me. I had to do this for him. Before I lift up the vial to my lips, I look to him one more time for comfort.