Amrita

Ordinary

We stood across from each other for what seemed like an eternity, and I was filled with this uneasy feeling of familiarity. I could hardly make out his features but I was sure that I knew him from somewhere. It was like he was part of a hazy dream that I couldn't quite remember.

"Me?" I ask. "What would you want with me?"

"I've been looking for you," he says, the sureness in his voice sending a chill down my spine. "Teerayu."

No one had called me by that name in such a long time. Alarm bells were going off in my head. Anyone who knew me by that name shouldn't even be around anymore. He breaks the safety of the distance between us and starts to slowly move towards me, and I do my best not to panic.

"S-Stay where you are! Don't move! I said, don't move!! STOP!!"

No matter how loud I cried out, the mysterious man didn't seem to care. He continued to walk towards me, each step with a bit more purpose than the last. I took several steps backward to send the message that I wanted to keep my distance but he didn't seem to catch on. I couldn't stand it for much longer. There was no way I was going to stand in place and find out what he had in store for me.

I turn around and take off running, as fast as I can. Terrified screams got stuck in my throat and couldn't make their way out of my mouth. All I could hear was the beating of my own heart as it pounded violently in my ears. I ran down flights of stairs so quickly, burst through heavy doors until I found myself out on the streets in the dead of night.

As soon as my feet hit the pavement, all I could think of was getting help. When I started sprinting in the direction of the nearest police station, that's when I realized that I no longer had my phone with me. I look back, in hopes that it had just slipped out of my hand and that I could still retrieve it somehow. But all I saw was the shadowy figure coming onto the street, just a few steps behind me.

"Shit," I whisper, as I summon the strength I had left to run as fast as I could.

He was gaining on me, and I was running out of stamina. There was no way I was going to get to safety before he caught me. In a split-second, I decide to turn the corner and go for the only escape route that I could think of.

Every fiber of my being was pleading with me not to go through with it, but the mysterious man on my heels left me with no choice. I stop in the middle of the deserted bridge and look down at the dark waters. The odd hour would make it impossible to see anything, and even from up here I could hear the strength of the river's current below.

"No!" He shouts, his voice booming through the dark night. "Don't!"

The railings felt ice-cold to the touch. I shivered as I imagined just how cold the waters underneath would be. The thought of it almost made me chicken out but he was still gaining on me. There was no time for self-doubt when, potentially, your very existence was being threatened.

With a big push, I hoist myself over the steel barrier, my hands the only things keeping me safe, wrists hooked over the railing. I look to my right and see the figure struggle to increase his speed to get to me before I had the chance to execute my plan. I wasn't going to let him do that.

I take a deep breath, lean forward, and let go.

Hitting the water at this speed stings. But over the years I've learned that form is the most important thing in saving yourself from unnecessary pain. You have to make sure that you enter the water properly: Feet first, point your toes, arms crossed in front of your chest, exhale from your nose as hard as you can as you break through the surface--as I did a million times before.

Being in the water like this was always my last option. I really don't want to add to any of my existing traumas, but desperate times, you know? I would rather give myself an anxiety attack being underwater than wait to find out if that guy had ill-intentions towards me. I got the feeling that the figure, whoever he was, would be watching from above, trying to see if I came up to the surface. So I made sure that I stayed underwater way longer than I usually would.

I swam down as deep as I could and found one of the beams which the bridge was built on. Quickly, I looked for the side that would shield me from the current and leaned against it, allowing myself to relax. There was no way he would follow me down here.

I did my best to clear my mind as the coldness of the water started to penetrate my skin. My instinct, as it always was, was to call out for my parents. I wanted to swim back to the shore and call out for help, for anyone to get me out of here. But that was obviously out of the question at this moment. Over the years, I've picked up tips to manage my emotions. No, manage is such a passive word. I control my emotions now; they don't control me.

"You're safe," I thought to myself. "You're safe. You can't drown. You won't drown anymore, Team. You're safe."

Finally, my mind quiets down and allows me to have a moment of peace. My legs give out from all the excitement and I sit down on the concrete base of the beam, with my legs dangling down its side. Apart from the occasional pieces of garbage that floated by, my underwater hiding place turned out to be an oasis of sorts. Minus all the distractions of the world above, I was able to gain a clear mind and hatched a new plan for when I got out of the water. As I finalized everything I needed to do and finished going through them in my head for the third time, I was sure that enough time had passed by. I suddenly remember that there was a watch on my wrist, and I said a silent prayer that it was indeed waterproof, like it claimed to be when I bought it. Luckily, it was still working fine. It's been a little more than an hour since I checked on the CCTV monitors. That should be more than enough to shake him off.

It takes me about ten more minutes to swim to the surface. I didn't realize that my adrenaline had made me go this deep. As expected, it was still pitch black outside but the moonlight cast a soft light on the trees by the river banks. It was a definite struggle to swim against the current. My arms felt like jelly, and right then I made a promise to myself to start working out after this. I couldn't afford to be lazy and have a horrible diet when mysterious guys are starting to chase me down.

Of course, when I got out of the water, a couple of stray cats were waiting for me on the shore. They weren't hissing this time, but if their stares could kill, I'd be long gone.

"Guys, I'm really not in the mood right now. Could you just leave me alone for once?"

I don't think they understood me, but maybe they did because they walked away slowly and let me get out of the water in peace. My clothes hung on me like they were a ton of bricks. I try to wring the water out of them as best as I can, abandoning some parts of my uniform in an effort to help myself. An early morning breeze hit me, and my teeth started to chatter uncontrollably with the cold air. I needed to get out of here.

Walking around town, soaking wet is an experience. At first, I left a trail of water behind me as I went, but after walking for three miles it wasn't that bad. I got drier, my clothes got lighter, and the rising of the sun made it a touch bit warmer.

I thought about not going back to any of the places I frequented, just in case, but I couldn't bear the thought of leaving behind my few treasured possessions. I was just going to grab them quickly and be on my way. It hurt my heart to leave Pharm, P'Dean, and P'Pruk behind. I might not have let them get close to me, but I had to admit that I had grown fond of them. For as long as I've been roaming this world, I don't think I've found better men than them. Just being around them made me feel like a better person. But I couldn't let sentimentality get to me - not again. It was just way too risky.

I finally reached my small apartment, already grieving the loss of this life.

"It's alright, Team. You can build one again," I tell myself. "You can find a quiet life again."

I switched on the light to find that the very person I ran away from was now sitting comfortably on my living room sofa.

"Why did you go? I just wanted to talk," he says, an eyebrow up in the air and his lips hooking up to a smirk as if to mock me.

I see his face clearly for the very first time. I was right; I've seen him before. How could I ever forget? He looked exactly the same as he did all those years ago: the golden hair that he wore loosely tied on the top of his head, the many piercings that virtually went down the entirety of his ear, that sharp jawline, the lanky frame, those smirks, and chuckles.

"You look much better when you let your eyes shine. I don't care much for those contact lenses. They make you look so... Ordinary."

An avalanche of anger falls down on me as I recognize exactly who it is.