Wild Nights, Wild Nights || Spencer Reid x Reader

13. Almost a Loneliness

You liked being on the receiving end of happiness, of knowing that you had brought joy to someone instead of hurting them. So you smiled back even wider. "December 22nd. I'll put it in the calendar."

You turned your back on the group, moving to put her "invitation" on your desk, when you spied Preston walking through the glass doors of the BAU. You tensed up as you heard Garcia gasp.

Preston gave the team a tight smile before approaching your desk. "Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

Well, at least he ditched the moniker this time. "Better. Do you need something? You could've just texted."

"Right, well... I was already around." He stole a glance to the rest of the team, all of whom pretended to not be listening intently to your conversation. "Can we..." Preston gestured to the doors.

You followed him out of the bullpen and into the hallway. "What's going on?"

Preston kept walking to the elevators. "Director Boucher wants to see us. Now."

"What? I didn't get an email."

"Yeah, he paid me a visit and told me to grab you." The elevator arrived and the two of you stepped in. Preston clicked the button for the highest floor rapidly. "He was meeting with Chief Dummel, and as he was leaving, told me as an aside, like it was an afterthought," Preston scoffed. "And you know he barely pulls actual meetings with us, so I honestly have no idea what he wants."

The light feeling that had briefly warmed your body suddenly vanished, and you were left cold. Then, guilt began blooming in its wake—guilt that you had been distracted from this case, that you'd chosen yourself for a few days over working on it. So you just nodded, numb, even as Preston caricatured Boucher until the elevator doors opened again.

The walk to his office stretched before you, and when you arrived, you knocked hesitantly on his open door.

"Director Boucher, you wanted to see us?" you said, slowly walking into the room with Preston right behind you shutting the door. Instinctually, your back straightened, and your hands clasped together. When he gestured for the two of you to sit in the chairs opposite his desk, you did so with overthought grace, crossing your ankles, angling your knees diagonally, and delicately folding your hands on your lap.

Boucher brought out whatever remained of that long-forgotten girl, always tugging on the piece of you that you never wanted to bring to the surface again. Though she had died long ago, those fundamental, unshakable parts of her reanimated in his presence, and she took over unless forcibly shoved away—proper posture, proper words, proper girl.

Good girl.

Boucher smiled from his place behind the desk. "Thank you for such a prompt response," he said. "I'm sure you're both busy, so I'll try to keep this brief. I'm dismissing both of you from the case."

You felt the color rush from your face, your heart falling into your gut, and your entire body go numb. Blood roared in your ears, your vision lacing with darkness. The hands in your lap squeezed together to hide their trembling. "What?" you whispered.

"Hang on. You said we got one more lead, and far as I know, we haven't submitted anything to you for approval since last time," Preston said. His voice was tight with agitation.

"Oh, I'm aware, Agent Preston. Agent Brecker, however, has been far more proactive than the two of you. She found a new avenue to pursue, and so, she'll be handling the case from now on—assuming, of course, that what she found is worth investigation."

That brought you back from the edge a bit, but rather than gaining clarity, you were twice as confused. Maryanne Brecker, a fiery redhead with hazel eyes from Chicago, was the New York City field agent that worked this case with you and Preston, and even then, she really only communicated through Preston. He was the one who convinced her to be your eyes in the city, which was ironic considering the fact that Preston and Maryanne had a history of animosity. You suspected she didn't particularly like you, either, but whenever she was brought up in conversation, Preston could rant for hours if left unchecked about everything "wrong" with her.